Age

So I turned 32 not too late ng ago and I feel like it is more of a shock to me than I think I would care and having anxiety I started thinking some dumb thoughts. I haven't dated in about 9 years and coupled with taking stock of my age and the fact I have had pocd themes I had a dumb thought saying "what if I meet women my age and aren't into them and my intrusive thoughts are proof that I'm not?" This thought bothered me since why would I worry about that. So I tried to envision myself with a woman around my age or at least a couple years younger and us having a date and then me reacting negatively to it I also thinking that when I was with her I would think I can't believe I'm with someone that's old or someone that not too long ago I would perceive to be much older than myself. Then that made me even more scared cuz then I thought do I actually have a grass that I'm as old as I am or do I have like the mentality of someone who's younger and can't grow up correctly or something. like I try to think back to when I was in college and I had friends who were in their early thirties and I always looked at them like sort of an older more experienced person who I sort of looked up to now I'm in that age group and I guess the fear literally does come from based on everything that I thought and the things that I've gone through will I treat dating like I've always treated it or would I look at someone to be like Man I'm looking at someone that 9 years ago I would have thought looked like a mother or something and now I'm that age. That worries me because I think a regular person wouldn't have to even think of something like that.

LizaAnne

Date posted: 1y

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. It sounds like you've been engaging in a lot of mental compulsions (trying to imagine yourself in different situations, reviewing your memories, etc), so it makes sense that the OCD is twisting you into knots. Try to let your uncertainty go unanswered. It's hard to do, because the OCD makes it feel like we NEED to be certain, but you can do it. Try telling the OCD that you're not going to look for an answer right now, and then go do something you actually need/want to do with your day.

MisterNegative

Date posted: 1y

Have you heard of anyone dealing with this?

LizaAnne

Date posted: 1y

@MisterNegative - Before I answer that question, where are you on your OCD journey? Have you worked with an ERP therapist before?

MisterNegative

Date posted: 1y

I started to before I moved but they aren't authorized to work in Arizona

LizaAnne

Date posted: 1y

So, here's the thing, when you ask if I've heard of anyone else "having this," you're asking for reassurance that your thoughts are "just OCD" -- and if I answer that question to give you reassurance, itay make you feel better for a few minutes, but then you'll start questioning whether I'm telling the truth/whether I'm correct/etc and get stuck in a reassurance-seeking loop.

MisterNegative

Date posted: 1y

@LizaAnne And I have been in the past I have been seeing a therapist for a few years. But I was starting ERP fairly recently

MisterNegative

Date posted: 1y

@LizaAnne And I know other people have gone through this and I know I'm not alone in having gone through this.

gio

Date posted: 19w

21 days till Im 18, I just don’t want it to come

I can’t totally tell if this is an OCD theme or not but I’m shaking and crying and can’t stop thinking about this. I hope that this makes sense, l'm having problems understanding how to explain my emotions anymore because I just don't know what l'm feeling some days, I just don't get it that much. I'm so scared to become an adult. I don't want to not be a kid in every sense of it. I don't feel like I'm an adult at all, it feels like an expiration date in every way. I don't think I have much going for me, l'm not very smart at least I don't think I am. The things I do like don't feel like they are that much to carry me through everything life is going to bring. I feel disconnected from the actual reality l'm living, like I'm just observing it. I just have trouble caring about my future and I have no plans for anything. But time is running out to figure out what l'll do. I would get rid of any of the privileges l'd get at 18 if I could stay at 17 forever. I don't want to loose childhood, I spent my younger years trying to feel smarter than I am and trying to seem like I was mature, but I'm not. I've had really bad things happen when I was young and things I feel like set me back. I don't think I've grown at the same rate as I should have. God I'm so confused. I don't know what to do about it man. No matter how many people I talk to this doesn't stop eating away at me. Does anything I'm saying even make sense? I wish I could stop time so badly. I don't want things to change. I am not ready for it at all.

Cantal

Date posted: 19w

POCD

This popped up randomly. I know logically I’m not one as I’ve only ever dated my age range and I don’t believe there’s a such thing as “latent philia” but goodness is this one weird

flyana

Date posted: 19w

Sometimes I feel too old for OCD

Anyone else over 30 and dealing with thoughts that feel debilitating? I know I’m not alone, but I’m curious who else is with me.

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