my HOCD has been SO awful today. before this all started, i dated boys and loved getting attention from them and being with them. i never really payed attention to girls and never had any feelings towards any. now i can’t stop thinking about being in a gay relationship and it won’t leave my mind. whenever i go anywhere i stare at every girl and if they are even a little pretty i automatically imagine sexual scenarios in my head with them that i HATE. i don’t want to like them and i have been dealing with this for three months now and it’s been an utter nightmare. i don’t want to be gay. i never want to be gay. i just want to go back to how i was before. i can’t sleep anymore, go in public and i have even lost all of my appetite to eat so i’ve been losing weight. someone please help. i want this to be over.

Reclaimer

Date posted: 6y

@helloworld2...n yeah it is I remember yesterday me and my girlfriends family went out to eat and I couldn't even look at the waiter cause I'd get serious anxiety. Most strangers that are men I look at in public I'll get I intrusive thoughts about. It's hard to make eye contact with guys because of this. And your OCD loves to put things in the spotlight that you really never payef attention to. It's the fear and the obsession manifesting in your head

Reclaimer

Date posted: 6y

Yes I did and no worries it will come back

helloworld287

Date posted: 6y

basically, i’m just worried that i’m in deep denial even tho i’ve been diagnosed with HOCD and i’ve never questioned my sexuality before (i am 23 yrs old)

Reclaimer

Date posted: 6y

Hey I have been dealing with hocd and other subtypes for about a year. Before the hocd I knew I was straight. Never questioned. But then I was watching a tv show and thought that one male characters was good looking and I remember this feeling in my gut I got it felt as if my body sank to the floor. Then the constant questioning. Am I gay. Was i lying to myself. All that. It's been tough and I've faced depression and such. And it's still a struggle to go out in public sometimes cause of my thoughts. But your stronger than your thoughts. Find an ocd specialist or a therapist that does erp. You can get your life back. Don't let OCD ruin your life.

Reclaimer

Date posted: 6y

It'll take time but don't stress over it

helloworld287

Date posted: 6y

it’s also just hard bc now everywhere i look i feel like i see lesbian events and articles about gay people, which is fine and i never would have even thought twice about it before but now it causes me a lot of anxiety to see

Reclaimer

Date posted: 6y

@Rayow24 I unfortunately have not been to therapy before. And yes believe me there is hope of a better life this won't be forever I can promise you that.

helloworld287

Date posted: 6y

@reclaimer i know exactly what you mean with that sinking feeling bc i experienced that too when this first popped in my head. have you lost your attraction to the opposite sex during this all? and if you did did it come back?

Rayow24

Date posted: 6y

Hi @reclaimer did ocd therapy get your life back? Is there hope to all this ****?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 23w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

johnsarry

Date posted: 17w

had very bad hocd need help

i'm positive i was attracted to women before this got a thought when i was high thought really really deeply into and changed my life now im 24/7 scared im gay ive always been attracted to girls but early in my sexual life where im at ive always got with girls and seemed a little disapointed after would love help and to hear past experiences

Sexual Orientation OCD

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 14w

hocd

I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(

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