my HOCD has been SO awful today. before this all started, i dated boys and loved getting attention from them and being with them. i never really payed attention to girls and never had any feelings towards any. now i can’t stop thinking about being in a gay relationship and it won’t leave my mind. whenever i go anywhere i stare at every girl and if they are even a little pretty i automatically imagine sexual scenarios in my head with them that i HATE. i don’t want to like them and i have been dealing with this for three months now and it’s been an utter nightmare. i don’t want to be gay. i never want to be gay. i just want to go back to how i was before. i can’t sleep anymore, go in public and i have even lost all of my appetite to eat so i’ve been losing weight. someone please help. i want this to be over.

Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)

I experience hocd and it honestly has traumatized me and put my mental health in the worst state it has ever been and I’ve never questioned myself if I was gay/bi or whatever up until the hocd came out of nowhere and spiraled about a month ago. (Including the fact I’ve made out with all my girlfriends and never felt a thing). Now I’m scared to even go around another girl or my friends one on one. Ive been in a relationship with my bf for almost a year and do NOT want to lose him. I saw my life with him and now I worry about everything and everything feels like it’s going to fall apart. One of my friends told me “you may have never had the gay thoughts until now but now you are seeing it in a different light and maybe need to go out and try it now” which I can’t stop thinking about. I don’t want to go out and try. I don’t want to leave my bf. I just want this all to go away. Any advise on any of this? Or any comments toward what my coworker told me?

Up until who knows when, i was always straight and showed no signs of being gay, and this is what i know for sure. I do not remember what its like being attracted to girls anymore, it has been so long, i do not know what i want at this point. I do not know what is hocd or what isnt anymore, i feel like i have been so worried about being gay for so long that i dont even feel the symptoms of hocd anymore. People say “if you feel like being gay ruins your image” or “if you get anxiety when thinking gay thought or feeling gay feelings, then you are not gay and that is false attraction” but i dont feel anxiety anymore with those, i feel anxiety when thinking about being in relationships with women now, idrk if it is being gay that does that or being hurt by past relationships so much that it does. I cant tell what feeling is what or anything. I know i was feeling what people say are signs of being straight at some point but i do not anymore. The feeling of being gay and gay feelings or thoughts are overtaking me and its like i am gay at this point but i just dont want to be and i dont know why i dont want to be anymore. I just need advice and i dont know what to do.