Can anyone explain?

I can't stop this awful thought and keep looking in mirror and telling myself it's the OCD and I'm not my OCD but every time I go to walk away OCD throws it at me again absolutel tourcher driving me out of my mind trying to hold on

Let me try, obsessive-compulsive disorder is a cycle of behaviors that we do to alleviate distress caused by a thought, feeling, urge or sensation (these are called the obsessions). We get a thought, feelings, urge or sensation that causes us distress. The distress may come in the form of thoughts, urges, feelings/emotions, and sensations. They are very uncomfortable (and that is putting it mildly). We then try to get rid of these thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges. We may try to prove them wrong, figure out what they mean, ask for reassurance from others or try to reassure ourselves. We may even perform behaviors such as washing, checking, counting, praying, the list is endless based only on a person's imagination. Sometimes these behaviors we do to alleviate the distress work and for a time we will feel better. Sometimes. However, and this is why this disorder is the OCD cycle or loop, the next time the same subject comes up (or it can be a totally different subject that creates doubt and uncertainty) we will feel the need to do the same or similar behaviors (compulsions) to get rid of the thought, feeling, urge, sensation. To recover from OCD, we have to break the cycle. When an obsession (thought, feelings, urge, sensation) comes up, rather than trying to get rid of the distress by doing compulsions (behaviors such as reassurance seeking, checking, ruminating, praying, etc.) we learn tools to use such as ERP, ACT, Mindfulness. We learn to allow the distress and not engage with the thoughts, urges, feelings and sensations. There are effective therapeutic tools. I had untreated OCD for over 35 years and I was able to overcome it. I hope this helps.

I asked chatGPT to explain it in a simple way and this is what it came up with: “A person with OCD experiences obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are thoughts, feelings, or images that bother you a lot and won’t go away. They can make you feel scared, sad, or angry. Compulsions are things you do over and over again to try to make the obsessions go away or feel better. They can be actions, like washing your hands or checking the door, or mental, like counting or praying. But compulsions don’t really help, and they can make your life harder. People with OCD have both obsessions and compulsions that they can’t control. OCD is a problem in the brain, but it can be treated with therapy or medication”

Is there a specific part of it that you’d like to understand better?

I know I would never do such a thing but OCD is a real evil bitch