Does anyone else avoid people of the same sex when their HOCD flares up??? I’ve always unfollowed girls on my instagram that I thought were attractive because I was scared of liking them / and I didn’t want to see them because it made me think I found them attractive and stuff. Is this normal or is it just me being scared of admitting i’m gay? HOCD is so frustrating and confusing sometimes. Am I just scared of my truth☹️?

Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?

I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.

I feel that I’ve come on extremely well. I still can’t accept uncertainty. My attraction to the opposite gender (females) comes back but doesn’t last how it used to too. I feel that excitement, thoughts like “she’s well fit” then a horrible depressed feeling and those voices saying “but you don’t like females anymore…” The false attraction towards same gender (male) isn’t as bad as it was. It used to be every single male, old young, big, small, even voices, cartoons and so on. Now it’s a quick spike when I see a male followed by disgusted, I still pull a horrible face and I shake depending on how bad the thoughts/ feelings. This HOCD/SOOCD happened 14 years ago but not as severe as this time round. Then just went for 14 years. Has anyone been through the same and got through it??