Does anyone else avoid people of the same sex when their HOCD flares up??? I’ve always unfollowed girls on my instagram that I thought were attractive because I was scared of liking them / and I didn’t want to see them because it made me think I found them attractive and stuff. Is this normal or is it just me being scared of admitting i’m gay? HOCD is so frustrating and confusing sometimes. Am I just scared of my truth☹️?

This is COMPLETELY normal for HOCD, and honestly very common. I wouldn’t unfollow them if I were you , why give your fears the power to control your life after all ? Avoiding people of the same sex is one of the most common parts of HOCD. I think you should sit with the fears and not avoid anyone of the same sex, because avoiding them isn’t getting under the fear, it’s only prolonging the anxiety. The best thing you can do is to confront your fears and tell them you won’t let them take control of you. Reassurance is also very relieving, but trust me, it does way more harm than good. It will always come back again, sometimes when you least expect it, because it’s keeping you in the vicious cycle of OCD. You have to make the fear not a fear anymore. Best of luck to you, if you ever need anything at all feel free to reach out !

I get scared I’ll be attracted to my friends but when I’m with them I don’t really feel anything but just laugh with them because that’s what friends do ?, it’s weird how this works except once I decided to see how it felt if I thought about marrying my friend and I felt this really weird feeling like if I was happy and I got freaked out. But then I thought about what married couples do and I was like “ew” and idk why my mind works the way it does. I hate it. I’m really deep into this and I can’t seem to crawl back out.

Don’t worry i’m in the same boat. It’s so weird how it all works! Tbh you probably felt happy about the idea of marrying your best friend bcos they’re your best friend (if you get me haha!!) I’m the same around my friends too...all my friends have always been really close and touchy feely, like always giving hugs and cuddling and stuff and i’ve been struggling with that recently ! But i’m confident we’ll all get there x

You put it perfectly , it really is like being trapped in your own head ?? it sounds like you know that you’re attracted to guys, but you still worry that you’re attracted to girls too. You are still the person you were before you started worrying about this, but the anxiety has taken over and blurred the lines so much to the point where it’s hard for you to tell who you are. I know it’s hard. Do you have anyone else to talk to about this ?

My personal problem is that i’ve never really been overly bothered about sex genuinely, I think i’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum (maybe demi-sexual), so I think that heightens my OCD and anxieties. I do but don’t really openly talk about it because no one really understands

@mariaxx I think you summed it up perfectly. We get these fears because they don’t represent us or our desires , and that’s why they’re so strong and intrusive. But it’s great that we can all talk on here and be understood :)

@ellsss Yeah , going back all the way to your childhood is very difficult and you spend so much time on the smallest details of it. But I’m sure you know that childhood is a period of major development , so it’s hard to label yourself just from one thing. And also , false memories can come up because of OCD. We don’t remember as much as we think we do ;) I’m so sorry about the panic attacks.

Anytime , you’ll never be alone??and I think looking back that far was one of the worst parts for me tbh. It really is difficult

Unfortunately I still have it ?? but the theme has changed now :/

@ellsss

This is me exactly as well