- Date posted
- 6y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
This is COMPLETELY normal for HOCD, and honestly very common. I wouldn’t unfollow them if I were you , why give your fears the power to control your life after all ? Avoiding people of the same sex is one of the most common parts of HOCD. I think you should sit with the fears and not avoid anyone of the same sex, because avoiding them isn’t getting under the fear, it’s only prolonging the anxiety. The best thing you can do is to confront your fears and tell them you won’t let them take control of you. Reassurance is also very relieving, but trust me, it does way more harm than good. It will always come back again, sometimes when you least expect it, because it’s keeping you in the vicious cycle of OCD. You have to make the fear not a fear anymore. Best of luck to you, if you ever need anything at all feel free to reach out !
- Date posted
- 6y
I get scared I’ll be attracted to my friends but when I’m with them I don’t really feel anything but just laugh with them because that’s what friends do ?, it’s weird how this works except once I decided to see how it felt if I thought about marrying my friend and I felt this really weird feeling like if I was happy and I got freaked out. But then I thought about what married couples do and I was like “ew” and idk why my mind works the way it does. I hate it. I’m really deep into this and I can’t seem to crawl back out.
- Date posted
- 6y
Don’t worry i’m in the same boat. It’s so weird how it all works! Tbh you probably felt happy about the idea of marrying your best friend bcos they’re your best friend (if you get me haha!!) I’m the same around my friends too...all my friends have always been really close and touchy feely, like always giving hugs and cuddling and stuff and i’ve been struggling with that recently ! But i’m confident we’ll all get there x
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
You put it perfectly , it really is like being trapped in your own head ?? it sounds like you know that you’re attracted to guys, but you still worry that you’re attracted to girls too. You are still the person you were before you started worrying about this, but the anxiety has taken over and blurred the lines so much to the point where it’s hard for you to tell who you are. I know it’s hard. Do you have anyone else to talk to about this ?
- Date posted
- 6y
My personal problem is that i’ve never really been overly bothered about sex genuinely, I think i’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum (maybe demi-sexual), so I think that heightens my OCD and anxieties. I do but don’t really openly talk about it because no one really understands
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
@mariaxx I think you summed it up perfectly. We get these fears because they don’t represent us or our desires , and that’s why they’re so strong and intrusive. But it’s great that we can all talk on here and be understood :)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
@ellsss Yeah , going back all the way to your childhood is very difficult and you spend so much time on the smallest details of it. But I’m sure you know that childhood is a period of major development , so it’s hard to label yourself just from one thing. And also , false memories can come up because of OCD. We don’t remember as much as we think we do ;) I’m so sorry about the panic attacks.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
Anytime , you’ll never be alone??and I think looking back that far was one of the worst parts for me tbh. It really is difficult
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
Unfortunately I still have it ?? but the theme has changed now :/
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
@ellsss
- Date posted
- 6y
This is me exactly as well
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 18w
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
- Date posted
- 16w
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
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