Today I'm 100% sure I'm straight and so in love with my bf, tomorrow I will be crying thinking I might be okay being with a girl and thinking that I want to.. lol is this normal? Do gay people feel like that? Like they know they are straight one day and the next day they don't think like that anymore
Experienced this today, and the worst part I wasn’t anxious. My mind kept saying “I’m bisexual” and I kept saying no I’m not. Obviously that was a compulsion, and now it’s taken me to a deep pit and so many scenarios played out. I was having a semi normal day too! I just want to be with a man!
@yessyess Can we please talk? We have the same theme! My theme is also fear of bisexuality. Like false attraction towards women feel real to me. I can’t date anyone and I feel I can ever get married to a man.
@yessyess Like I have no attraction to women sexually or romantically! It’s comforting knowing we’re not alone in this theme, but it’s so damn scary!
@Anonymous Sending you courage! I have no sexual or romantic attraction to women and get false attraction too. I feel like I’ve gotten better, and when I see a cute guy now I’m in fight or flight mode. I think this theme has traumatized me so much this last month. Just want to remind you you’re not the only one experiencing this theme. It can feel so isolating especially when OCD generate some pretty weird thoughts and the sensations. But experiencing the backdoor spike where you’re not anxious is terrifying! It’s been comforting being on this app, especially with this theme!
@yessyess My brain is telling me I’m attracted sexually to them… the attraction and groinal and everything feels so real. Like I’m convinced there’s No way I’m straight :( idk how to get married and date. I’m 25 and never had a bf
@yessyess Have you done erp or have a therapist
@Anonymous You’re not alone! My mind plays those cruel games, I’ll be able to have a dream about a cute guy for a brief moment and it morphs. I’m too scared to fantasize now. I did a year of ERP with NOCD back in 2021-2022 and it worked wonders. I had the fear of being a lesbian and was able to overcome. I still had intrusive thoughts. This round has been the fear of being a lesbian to morphing into the fear of being bisexual. It’s just such a confusing theme, I hate it so much! It adds this new layer of confusion! I just want to be with a guy! And then when I’m calm and there’s nothing wrong, I panic. It’s like it won’t let me be straight in peace. I did one session through NOCD back in December but didn’t really connect with my therapist. Actually she had a rainbow flag, something I’m not triggered by and started crying uncontrollably. Just want to let you know you’re not the only one dealing with this and hope you find comfort in that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this as well. The fear of being bisexual is a whole new rodeo I haven’t experienced. I’m currently out of the country for three weeks in a slower pace and hoping it helps. But may try doing ERP again, I miss my old therapist but she’s no longer with NOCD and doesn’t take insurance.
I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.
anyone else have a good evening/ day then fall back down hurrendously the next day? Honestly yesterday I felt great! Like I knew what I like (opposite gender) and these ‘false attractions’ are just false alarms caused by OCD… like I knew these thoughts and feeling are OCD. Today I question it all over again. Are these false attractions real? Why has my loss of opposite attraction feel like it won’t return? Though yesterday I got snippets.
My boyfriend is ftm, and I’m very supportive of him and his journey with gender. It opened a lot of conversations between us about each others gender/sexuality. I’ve known for a long time that i’m pan, but I’ve struggled a lot with my own gender. My OCD causes me to doubt myself a lot, one day i feel hyper feminine and have no desire to identify as a man, but the next day I am extremely dysphoric about my body/hair/voice and wonder if I’m ftm as well? and then it goes away the next day. Some days I don’t even feel feminine OR masculine. I spend a lot of my time ruminating over if i’m trans, and abt the possibility of me spending the rest of my life either not knowing, or settling for whatever’s easiest for myself and everyone around me. I don’t know if I actually believe I’m a man, or if I’m pretending, or if it’s just in my head. Its like I don’t know what to trust since my opinion is different every day, and it feels like I can’t trust my own intuition. It’s starting to affect my sex drive, my sleep, my self confidence, and my self image. It’s really confusing me and I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has some advice. Thank you:)
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