Am I deceiving myself about my OCD and past mistakes?

Am I lying to myself?

I struggle most with harm OCD+real event+false memories. The mental rumination gets exhausting. I constantly beat myself up over past mistakes and will fill in the pieces I don’t remember with the worst case scenario. I self soothe by reminding myself I am not a bad person and my worries are disproportionate to the actual situation due to the fact I struggle with OCD. But I quickly get interrupted with an intrusive thought telling me “it is that bad and you’re pinning it as OCD to down play it and avoid accountability”. Anyone else struggle with this?

Username: taytay86taytay86

Date posted: 43w ago

There’s a woman I watch on YouTube her name is (Chrissie Hodges) she has some really great videos of OCD and she’s funny. I hope that you look her up she’s my go to when I have these moments like you’re sharing check her out. I hope she can help and she has tons of videos of all different type of topics

Username: AndyJones65AndyJones65

Date posted: 43w ago

hey there, it sounds really tough dealing with harm ocd, real events and false memories all at once. the mental rumination and intrusive thoughts you're battling seem so tough, and i want to salute your courage for pushing through and continuously reminding yourself of who you really are. ❤️ have you ever heard of "unstuck"? it's an ai-powered therapy tool specifically for ocd (unstuckmyocd.com/try). it's been a real game-changer for me this past month and i think you should check it out too. i was told about it by another member on this forum and wish i knew about it sooner! 🙌

Username: Maureen

Date posted: 5y ago

How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.

Username: forestlife00

Date posted: 5y ago

Anyone else struggle with real event type OCD (OCD latches on to a real life situation you’ve experienced)? How can we know the difference between what actually happened and if it’s just my OCD making me feel like a horrible person? Specifically with harm/pedophile OCD. Anyone ever experienced this before?

POCD

Username: froggy123

Date posted: 4y ago

Anyone else have OCD about real life events and have lots of guilt over them? I know I shouldn’t but every time I seek reassurance from people (I’m trying to not do this) they tell me not to worry about it but my OCD tells me that they’re lying. Lol.

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Am I deceiving myself about my OCD and past mistakes?

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