Can ANYONE relate

Hello everyone 🙂 I usually struggle with POCD/HOCD This is my first time dealing with relationship OCD And it’s different intrusive thoughts and anxiety and shame that goes with it. I I’m very happily married for 16 years and I love my husband more than anything itself He’s my best friend and there’s nothing that I don’t keep from him EVER! I’m not the type of person that looks for attention. I’m very quiet, and I keep to myself recently I went out to eat, and the waiter in the restaurant flirted it with me. And he gave me a couple compliments nothing serious. He made a comment about my hair, and that was it. I never put myself in situations for things like that can happen because I love and respect my husband so much that even the thought of somebody talking to me, I feel obligated to tell him, because I myself consider that a form of cheating if you don’t relate what your day was like to your partner. The whole interaction with the waiter I didn’t even think about it twice until I got home that evening and I’m in my head thinking about my day and so on , that night I had a thought what if he came up to me and flirted because I somehow made him think that I wanted him to, and that’s when the anxiety and the fear and the shame kicked in the next day, I was an OCD intrusive thought mode all day long I couldn’t sleep or eat that day. Obviously, my husband noticed there was something bothering me so I told him everything that happened and I even told him that I would never do anything like that I would never cheat on him. I would never put myself or my relationship and my family in a position where I could lose them or lose him that’s not who I am I value my marriage, and if you knew my husband, you would understand why he’s the best man I’ve ever met in my whole life. I felt so relieved to tell him my husband also struggles with OCD, but his is different from mine. He does rituals and compulsions, and he doesn’t really share light on his intrusive thoughts I myself am more forward with it and I don’t like to keep things inside of me, I don’t have many friends so I rely on my husband for a lot of support He was super understanding about it, and just said well who cares I told him that I wasn’t going to that restaurant anymore and we left it at that. the problem with it I guess is I have to drive through the restaurant area on my way home cause it’s close by to where I live so I don’t know if it’s the restaurant itself that’s triggering my OCD or the fact that I think that I put myself in that position which I know I didn’t all I did was want to order a pizza. In my head, and my intrusive thoughts are telling me that I’m a cheater, and I somehow wanna cheat which I don’t. I’ve never had this problem before with my OCD. this week I found a new way of taking shortcuts, so I don’t have to drive through there anymore, but even that’s triggering me. When the whole situation with the waiter happened when he gave me the compliments all I said was thank you and I left. so I don’t know how my thoughts went from 0 to 1000 it’s literally playing out like a movie in my head. If I cheat it this would happen I would lose everything I would lose my husband I wouldn’t be able to look at him or face him it’s all those feelings combined into one. It literally makes me nauseous to even think that I would do something like that to him or anyone. Yesterday, my husband told me he was leaving town for two days for business and my anxiety kicked in full gear. I thought if he’s leaving, maybe he’s watching to see if I’ll do something crazy or cheat in the whole thought process started all over again. Which I know he doesn’t think that I truly believe my husband knows how much I love him and respect him But you know once OCD starts with one thought it gets out of hand and it’s like a movie and then those that scare you for even having the original thoughts I just don’t know what to do at this point with the thought and I’m starting the thing is this part of my character do I want something like this to happen or is it my OCD? Has anyone ever felt like this like that with something like this? Any advice or support would be great

AnonymousG

Date posted: 1y

Yesss. I relate! It's so annoying, right? I have difficulty even making eye contact with people at the store, or anywhere outside of home bc of it. Like even if I'm simply polite, my brain says "yep, you're a walking red flag." I just repeat to myself in my head like a mantra that I'm not a bad person and I remember what my husband said before, just because you have a bad thought sometimes, doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. So, my advice is to try and give yourself some grace. No body on this planet is perfect! I'm currently still trying to follow that advice as well.

taytay86

Date posted: 1y

Thank u . I myself have trouble making eye contact with people all the time I’m almost antisocial (really)

JustMe2025

Date posted: 22w

ROCD hits hard

Hey I'm new here... Married for two years, not formally diagnosed with OCD but over 25 years, I've dealt with obsessing over my sexuality, then it has shifted to obsessing over my relationships. In my first marriage, I would notice other attractive men and at one point I started to obsess over one man at my church. Eventually it went away but I divorced for other reasons. Fast forward 15 years. I meet my now-husband, but we break up twice while dating. I was terrified. I have learned I do struggle with fearful/avoidant attachment, but I made it through to get married!! But now, the obsessing over other men is happening again. I work with a lot of men. If I notice one who may be handsome, all of a sudden I feel weird sensations in my body, my mind races, and I fear I want to cheat, or wonder if I'd be happier. It has happened with a guy at my church, several coworkers, my husband's best friend...so I know there's a pattern. But as of late, it has gotten worse with one coworker. I have to see him every day. The thoughts are loud. They feel real, like they're how I feel (I like him, he has nice eyes, I love you). I am a Christian, and when I pray about it, it's almost like something inside me says, 'don't fix this, this isn't OCD, I want this guy' blah blah blah. I feel awful, like a whore, like a cheater, like a double-minded person. And I feel so far away from my husband. I've dealt with feeling the need to confess everything early in our relationship. I've gotten better at not doing that, but I feel like I carry this private pain that no one understands. It really hurts. I guess I just needed to vent and let this out. Sometimes it feels so lonely. I feel crazy. I'm in my 50s, I have a full time job, I take care of my home, yet I feel paralyzed by this sometimes. Thanks for reading.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

marryyyy

Date posted: 5w

is this ocd??

Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)

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Can ANYONE relate

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