- Date posted
- 1y ago
My hands hurt so bad
They're just so raw and cut and bleeding but I just keep washing them. The anxiety of thinking/feeling they're "dirty" is just too much to handle.
They're just so raw and cut and bleeding but I just keep washing them. The anxiety of thinking/feeling they're "dirty" is just too much to handle.
My hands used to look like chopped beef. I still constantly wash them but I follow up with hand sanitizer that has moisturizer included. The “kills 99.99%” allows me to comfortably use it. My hands are red but don’t crack and bleed like they used too. Maybe you can give it a try
I used to use lotion but now I'm too paranoid, like I feel like it's on my hands all day until I shower and I don't want to touch anything or eat
@SadStressedGirl That’s why I use the hand sanitizer with moisturizer added. No greasy hands
@JerseyJerry That would be really nice then, thanks for recommending it! Any particular brand you use?
@SadStressedGirl Usually Equate, Purex or GermX
I’m losing it completely, I’ve never had a flare up like this with contamination. I’m so burnt out seriously , I feel like I’m going insane. My hands are cracking and bleeding from washing them and my family’s getting very tired of me , they think I should go stay in a hospital or something for a while because of how bad it is. OCD as taken away my relationships with people , I can’t sit on the couch anymore with my family , I can’t hug my dog anymore , I can’t relax ever. I just needed to write this down as I really can’t process my feelings right now as I have too many thoughts , any advice?
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
I have this same problem repeatedly where I see things online about faking OCD and people talking about how OCD isn’t just cleaning and it makes me feel like I’m faking it and it’s pretty much its own theme now. I have a handwashing problem and since it’s so heavily stigmatized as faking I never do it when others are watching because then I feel like I’m seeking attention. Pretty much all of my visible compulsions I do are behind closed doors or on my own and I can’t do anything about it because if I try to show somebody then I’m attention seeking and faking. If I try to talk about the fear then I’m also attention seeking because now I’m guilt tripping and seeking sympathy and therefore I shouldn’t tell anyone and I shouldn’t show anyone. I’m essentially hiding an entire mental illness because of this, the only person I’ve ever really told about my issues is my therapist, nobody else feels safe.
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