ROCD/Relationship Anxiety

I’ve been getting to know this guy for a while. I was initially attracted to him even before he expressed interest in me (which has been a rare occurrence for me). And we have gotten really close emotionally and I enjoy his company a lot. I find myself sitting and thinking about how great he is and how much I like him. But recently I’ve noticed his weird mannerisms and idiosyncrasies that are quirky and sometimes even cringe and it’s causing me distress because I don’t want to let those things about him become a wall that stops me from liking him. I admit that sometimes his weird and quirky behaviour is sometimes off putting and I’m so mad at myself for letting it be a problem. He has so many amazing qualities and I want to change my perspective so I can love the person as a whole, quirks and all. I just want to stop having these distressing thoughts and feelings.

juliala

Date posted: 1y

this is 100% intrusive, i deal with this with my boyfriend and our relationship has continued for over a year now. unfortunately this is a really common occurrence for relationship ocd and pure ocd. with that being said, if you like this person, do what YOU want! you don't like these thoughts and they make you upset. i suggest being open about your thoughts and ocd when you feel more secure with this person, it took me a while of dating to be more open and my boyfriend was really supportive. if they're not respectful in their response then they're not worth your time. but i would recommend waiting until you feel comfortable and secure to have that conversation. you're going to be okay and if it's meant to be it will be.

Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 1y

@juliala I know a lot of it is probably intrusive but sometimes it becomes so difficult to tell the difference. I enjoy our time together so much, and yet there are little things that he does that aren’t inherently bad but are kinda odd or weird or even cringy and sometimes they’re a turn off. And those things make me so frustrated and scared to think about because I don’t want them to be walls that stop us from having a good relationship. In the grand scheme of things I know how unimportant those little odd things are, but they worry me because they give me the “ick”. I hate the term ick so much, especially when it comes to someone who struggles with stress surrounding relationships.

juliala

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous_confessions sorry i saw this so late! i dealt with this a lot too. that ick feeling it sucks. what i did was focus on just recovering and doing erp. figuring out that line of what is a real concern and what isn't is going to be impossibly right now. try not to obsess about the thought that it could be true because unfortunately that's what happened to me. focus on you and feeling better and you'll know with time what's true and if this is the right relationship or not.

lulu2

Date posted: 17w

Relationship OCD - PLEASE HELP

Hey guys, I’m reaching out in a pretty weak spot of desperation. I feel so insane and so sick of my mind recently, I’m completely drained from my mind. I’ve had such bad spikes of RCOD in my relationship of 1.5 years , which kills me because I truly want nothing more than to just be his peace and for us to work out. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. I feel like the pressure I placed on making sure I was “perfect” was so counter productive becuase instead I find myself doing everything wrong. I tell myself not to think of the wrong thing, then I think of the wrong thing, then I feel so guilty, and it plagues my mind for days. I feel so guilty it makes me feel detached and like I’m a bad girlfriend. I feel so bad for always burdening him with my anxieties and my “wrong thoughts” becuase he doesn’t deserve it, he’s so amazing. Recently, I began overthinking if I “love him” which I KNOW is so silly because when I’m calm, I laugh that I even got so worried , but when my anxiety creeps in, it feels so debilitating. I spiral and then try to prove to myself that I do love him , which then makes things in that moment feel “forced” because I’m acting out of intent to win the battle in my head. My RCOD has been a persistent issue, but this particular theme is pretty new and I hate it. I feel like I’ve been placing pressure on myself to overly appreciate him and it’s so counterproductive. I feel so bad because I told him about everything and he now thinks I don’t love him. Which is so wrong. I just want this to be fixed. Sometimes I feel like he’d be better off with a girl that isn’t such a headache and wouldn’t drain him all of the time but at the same time , I could never accept him being with anyone but me. Also, I have seen a psychoglist but it just didn’t feel right and I hated vocalising my thoughts because I felt it gave them more power - it feels like the only person I can truly be raw with about this stuff is my bestfriend. If anyone has any tips , PLEASE help me.

Relationship OCD

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 13w

ROCD doing better

So I talked to my therapist about some things, and I’m doing a lot better. I’ve realized I’m obsessed with infatuation and feelings. When I expect to feel really goodly eyed over my boyfriend I don’t, sometimes I am most of the time I’m not. However I cuddle him, have desires for sex with him, I love him, I love being with him, he’s funny, his personality is attractive. I also want my physical attraction to grow. I’m afraid if I don’t look at him an ogle that it means I should be with someone I can do that with.But physical attraction is fleeting. He’s amazing he should be the father of my kids, I am not wanting to give up. This is half ocd half not. I wand to feel a certain way but honesty ? I have to allow myself to feel these things and stop fearing. Like allow myself to reflect on his heart and the things I love instead of focusing on obsessing over something I don’t like.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 12w

ROCD

Does anyone else get like super irritated with their partner due to fixation? I get irritated that my partner can’t run well… or that he is not socially the same as some other men that I thought I would be with. We connect extremely well we hang out well he’s a wonderful guy he’s funny, but sometimes I just get irritated at mannerisms the way he talks etc. I feel HORRIBLE I’m afraid I don’t like him as much… this is horrendous for me

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ROCD/Relationship Anxiety

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