I deal with Obsession (with how I affect others)

Truthfully i am just so exhausted from being obsessed with how I affect others in my life. I am constantly questioning if I make their lives better or worse and why. I'm an extrovert and if it seems like I'm positively affecting people when I socialize, I feel on top of the world. But when I can't improve someone's mood when I talk to them I feel depressed and drained. I have this belief that I am intrinsically awful and harmful to be around and I have to be extra helpful and cheerful to make up for it. I think about the problems that everyone in my life struggles with and convince myself that I am the cause of it or making them worse. I isolate, believing I am harmful to others and I am sparing them. When they feel neglected, I panic because I caused them harm when I was trying to save them. I don't want to live like this anymore. In some ways it was easier when I was alone. I just can't stop obsessing about my loved ones in this way. I almost begin to crave abandonment because at least the thoughts would stop coming. Does that make me a bad person? I don't really actually want to be abandoned by my loved ones, but at least I know how to handle abandonment. I don't know how to handle normal loving relationships.

Username: _egg_egg

Date posted: 48w ago

I can resonate with this and I feel like you worded it really well. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Virtual support groups have been helpful because I can’t become too invested in the other person as much as I want to because we all log off at the end. First name only. You can sit under a blanket and it’s really nice. I root for everyone there sincerely. Sometimes I feel like I’m too loud and I stop talking but then I remember that’s why we are in these places… to support each other. The way we are. The way we want others to see us. Without shame. rooting for you from the bottom of my heart.

Username: BiancaSawyer13BiancaSawyer13

Date posted: 48w ago

Hey there, I hear how exhausted you feel from constantly questioning your impact on others, and I want you to know that you're not alone on this journey. It's evident from your words that you deeply care for the people around you and your intention is always for their well-being. Sometimes, OCD puts us into a cycle that makes these caring qualities feel like an enormous burden.😟 Now, I want to tell you about something that's been particularly helpful for me in dealing with similar struggles. I discovered this AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) from my OCD support group and I really wish I had known about it earlier! This tool can be really beneficial for you particularly because it mirrors the support an OCD therapist would offer and provides personalized, step-by-step help designed to guide you when OCD is at its most challenging. In your case, it may help you manage your concern about the impact you have on loved ones while helping you to focus on your own well-being. And remember, I'm here if you want to chat more about the app or just want to unload! 🤗

Username: bassoonista

Date posted: 3y ago

Has anyone else had OCD over a person?? In an ugly, anxious way?? Like obsessing over their appearance and what people think of them because you don’t want them to have any good??? I know that sounds awful and I FEEL awful, but I just can’t help it. Don’t know how it was triggered, but I think it usually starts when I think people are full of themselves/narcissistic... I just feel alone :(

Username: nurem14

Date posted: 3y ago

Is anyone else obsessed with being percieved as "good" ? I get super anxious thinking people think badly of me and always try to make people have a good image of me but then i obsess over if im manipulating them to think that im good and im lying and are not really a nice person. Anyone ?

Username: Ahsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 43w ago

Friendship/Obsessive Searching

I posted about this yesterday but I feel like I’m in an extremely obsessive cycle right now. So basically I started college and moved into dorms. My roommate and I were cool at first then began to experience some issues. Mainly codependency on both ends. So I pulled back to regain control of my emotions and also to make better decisions since I don’t want codependent friendship. I did this with the help and guidance of my therapist. I have also been in therapy for almost two years. So today, my friend seems bothered in class bc she has her nursing cohort in class and Idk if she wanted to go talk to them rather than me or what she wanted to do but she usually says bye to me after class and she just got up and left. Which was odd to me. She then was super silent later in when she got home to the dorms so I asked if wverhtbing was ok she said yeah and said she had a headache. While that may be true she hadn’t been quiet toward me or like that in the past. So anyways I’ve been in an obsessive cycle of trying to “find answers” as to what’s wrong with me and why I struggled in friendship my whole life. Why I’ve chosen some unkind friends before. I have searched the internet up and down trying to figure out what is “wrong with me” and see if I’m unliksble or if there’s traits that need “fixing” so I can be liked better. This also enables me to go into perfectionist mode and remind myself of all the flaws I have and try to fix them. It’s exhausting and tiring. I’ve done some major work on myself in therapy these past two years and have actually made drastic changes, yet I still sometimes feel like why haven’t I mad decent good friends, and why am I feeling like a bad person all the time even when I’ve improved a lot of things. Any advice. Is this a compulsion?? I feel like it is bc my brain freaken hurts and I feel like I am looping. I got home around 4:30 today and have been on the intnernt for four hours searching smh.

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I deal with Obsession (with how I affect others)

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