Struggling with obsession over how I impact others; is it making me a bad person?

I deal with Obsession (with how I affect others)

Truthfully i am just so exhausted from being obsessed with how I affect others in my life. I am constantly questioning if I make their lives better or worse and why. I'm an extrovert and if it seems like I'm positively affecting people when I socialize, I feel on top of the world. But when I can't improve someone's mood when I talk to them I feel depressed and drained. I have this belief that I am intrinsically awful and harmful to be around and I have to be extra helpful and cheerful to make up for it. I think about the problems that everyone in my life struggles with and convince myself that I am the cause of it or making them worse. I isolate, believing I am harmful to others and I am sparing them. When they feel neglected, I panic because I caused them harm when I was trying to save them. I don't want to live like this anymore. In some ways it was easier when I was alone. I just can't stop obsessing about my loved ones in this way. I almost begin to crave abandonment because at least the thoughts would stop coming. Does that make me a bad person? I don't really actually want to be abandoned by my loved ones, but at least I know how to handle abandonment. I don't know how to handle normal loving relationships.

Username: _egg_egg

Date posted: 43w ago

I can resonate with this and I feel like you worded it really well. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Virtual support groups have been helpful because I can’t become too invested in the other person as much as I want to because we all log off at the end. First name only. You can sit under a blanket and it’s really nice. I root for everyone there sincerely. Sometimes I feel like I’m too loud and I stop talking but then I remember that’s why we are in these places… to support each other. The way we are. The way we want others to see us. Without shame. rooting for you from the bottom of my heart.

Username: BiancaSawyer13BiancaSawyer13

Date posted: 43w ago

Hey there, I hear how exhausted you feel from constantly questioning your impact on others, and I want you to know that you're not alone on this journey. It's evident from your words that you deeply care for the people around you and your intention is always for their well-being. Sometimes, OCD puts us into a cycle that makes these caring qualities feel like an enormous burden.😟 Now, I want to tell you about something that's been particularly helpful for me in dealing with similar struggles. I discovered this AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) from my OCD support group and I really wish I had known about it earlier! This tool can be really beneficial for you particularly because it mirrors the support an OCD therapist would offer and provides personalized, step-by-step help designed to guide you when OCD is at its most challenging. In your case, it may help you manage your concern about the impact you have on loved ones while helping you to focus on your own well-being. And remember, I'm here if you want to chat more about the app or just want to unload! 🤗

Username: bassoonista

Date posted: 3y ago

Has anyone else had OCD over a person?? In an ugly, anxious way?? Like obsessing over their appearance and what people think of them because you don’t want them to have any good??? I know that sounds awful and I FEEL awful, but I just can’t help it. Don’t know how it was triggered, but I think it usually starts when I think people are full of themselves/narcissistic... I just feel alone :(

Username: nurem14

Date posted: 2y ago

Is anyone else obsessed with being percieved as "good" ? I get super anxious thinking people think badly of me and always try to make people have a good image of me but then i obsess over if im manipulating them to think that im good and im lying and are not really a nice person. Anyone ?

Username: Spooks

Date posted: 37w ago

Possibly Harm OCD?

I've been reading through the posts on this app all morning to see if someone can relate to the way I'm feeling. I'm constantly bombarded by thoughts about me or other people being hurt by my cause. It terrifies me to the core and I end up going down in tears at the very thought of it. It's so hard to open up to others about it because I'm worried I'm just insane, and not someone worth saving. It's gotten to the point where I'm very depressed, I refuse to leave my room in the morning to get ready for school, and I don't feel emotion anymore. Another issue I've been having is secluding myself because I'm afraid of harming people. But it's all my mind goes on about, and I can't make it stop. I'm crying whilst posting this, and I just want to feel normal again.

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Struggling with obsession over how I impact others; is it making me a bad person?

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