ROCD

I understand you. But I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves we suffer with a mental disorder that is going to make you feel like you’re a terrible partner, because that’s what your themes surround.. the thing about confessions is they only do damage to your partner and relationship, they help YOU temporarily but you cannot take back those things you say out loud, OCD lies until you believe the lies, because it wants to keep you in the loop. Confessing intrusive thoughts has been my biggest compulsion, and I can tell you that for a fact I know deep down if confessing these thoughts could take away ocd it would have by now, there’s always one more what if, one more doubt, one more hypothetical scenario, one more question, statement, image, thought, etc. The fact you feel so uncomfortable by the thoughts proves you are actually a good partner. A bad partner would not care wether they were bad, they just would be, without worrying or second guessing. I get it, it’s fucking hard, one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with in my whole life, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there are sooo many people out there who overcome ocd and can live a normal life again.

This sounds like confessing, which is a compulsion. Try to examine the uncertainty you feel that causes you to want to confess every detail. What is your brain telling you will happen if you don’t confess?