- Username
- MentalHelp
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My “bullshit-o-meter” is going off. This honestly sounds like propaganda spread to over exaggerate that stuff. That genuinely doesn’t make any sense. Logically, it’s so unbelievably stupid. So she cringed at the thought of lesbian sex when she’s a lesbian? Where does that make sense? Where? If she was being honest it probably didn’t make her cringe. She probably found it appealing or is making the whole story up to like I said before over exaggerate this to a degree in which doesn’t need to be exaggerated at all. This genuinely doesn’t make sense.
Yeah I’m with ‘TheReptileCyka’ on this!! People who are gay and in denial- enjoy the thoughts! They think it’s beautiful! People who are gay and out do not give it a second thought at all! Just how I know I’m a girl with blue eyes! I don’t give those a second thought! we just have to keep reminding ourselves this
Advice- it makes me question it too, but before this I knew how much I loved my boyfriend- and I don’t ever want to leave him! even if unwanted thoughts pop in your head about being gay or with someone- just remember- you don’t want to leave your boyfriend! That’s ocd for you! it tries to turn something so simple into something dangerous! We just need to learn to accept the uncertainty and the ocd bully will get bored and it will leave us all
Well that’s HER experience. Doesn’t have to be yours. Ppl who are in the LGBTQIA+ community have all kinds of sexual awakenings but that doesn’t make them the same for everyone. So her kiss w a man was dull. To her it’s bc she’s gay. To a straight woman maybe it’s that there were no sparks. No chemistry. She didn’t like how the kiss went. She didn’t really truly have feelings for the guy. Anything can make kisses dull. Being gay isn’t the only reason. You’re fine. ;)
I am terrified too. I’m avoiding it incase it doesn’t feel like I want it to. I hate this so so so much.
Gosh, now I’m wondering if I’m in love with my boyfriend
For the girl who said that, she’s not the spokesperson for everyone who realized that they were gay later in life. Because of OCD, we tend to latch onto anything related to our anxiety and immediately apply it to our own lives, despite it being the polar opposite. But hey, it may happen, it may not happen. We have to work on accepting uncertainty without looking for an answer. It’ll either come to us or we’ll just be comfortable with not knowing.
I‘m 19teen and I still haven’t had my first kiss now I fear that when I have it and it feels „dull“ I become lesbian or think that I‘m lesbian ?
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
GUYS I'M REALLY FREAKING OUT I MIGHT KILL MYSELF I just remembered how my HOCD started. Some months ago, I drew this picture of a sad girl who was crying and was in huge pain and distress. I don't really know why I drew this but I was very proud because the drawing came out to be really well. A few months pass, and I had this drawing in front of me while some sad music was playing on my phone. I was staring at the drawing, praising myself for how nicely I drew it, feeling very good about myself... Then, in my head, I started telling the crying girl in the picture to stop crying and that it will all be okay And then, in a split second I HAD A THOUGHT OF FUCKING KISSING THE GIRL. THEN THE WHOLE CYCLE STARTED. I SWEAR TO GOD I'VE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO FEMALES. I always get really jealous of girls who look pretty because even I want to look like them Never in my life did I ever think about having sex with a girl Even when I fantasise, it's always about men and boys my age and above I'M REALLY DISTRESSED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
TW: EXPLICIT CONTENT TOWARDS END I can’t stop crying because it feels like I’m truly a lesbian. I read the stupid comp het doc which was obviously something I shouldn’t have done but I gave in. Relationships when I was younger were never a big thing for me because well I was still too young. So when I had crushes it was always more about the fuzzy feeling and just wanting to be close to my guy crushes or thinking about their touch. When I had my first silly 8th grade boyfriend I remember always being scared to hold his hand and kiss him and hug him because I felt self-conscious of myself and everyone watching but I still did enjoy it. Looking back I feel like I might’ve just liked my him because he liked me but I thought that was normal for middle school things, except the first thing happened my freshman year of high school as well with my toxic ex. It wasn’t love and I hate remembering about him because it really was just something dumb and obsessive but when I did like him I did enjoy being held but now I wonder if it was just the attention I liked. I’m now in a relationship with my boyfriend of over a year and I’m terrified that I’m not actually in love with him and only his attention but that just doesn’t feel right because we have such a strong bond. He was a natural flirt so that definitely caught my attention but it was more than that, he just seemed like such an amazing person to me and that has not changed since we started dating. I used to have major rocd over whether or not I actually loved him but I got past that theme but now it might be back. I love him so much, he’s been there through everything and I know I could be happy without him so it’s not like I’m dependent on him, but I choose to be happy with him because he brings me that warm feeling inside my heart. When I’m with him I feel safe and I want to have a genuine future with him. It also doesn’t help that my family is homophobic, my grandma condemns it and I tried explaining to her but she just told me that even if I was I didn’t have to “act on it” which made me break into tears. Not because I am lesbian, but because it would hurt so much to know she wouldn’t support me if I was. Another thing that worries me is that maybe I don’t like intimacy enough with him, but the truth is he’s the first person I’ve been so intimate with and well we’re both still virgins so we haven’t been able to fully explore. Truth be told I didn’t always like giving oral but I thought it was because porn set me into that mind-frame that intimacy was all about the woman being used. The first time we did things was very exciting and fun for me!But I was also very nervous and scared and well my anxiety doesn’t help but there have been times where I do enjoy giving oral, what I don’t like is when it’s all we can do and I also have a terrible habit of comparing myself to other girls and wanting to be perfect at it. I never thought it meant I was a lesbian. I love my partner and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else or be intimate with anyone else. I still don’t like the idea of being with a girl like that, I have never even fantasized about it before and well it just doesn’t feel like me but now my brain is telling me that it is me, that it’s always been me and all the things I used to perceive as normal actually mean I’m lesbian and I hate it. Someone please give me advice to fight this and how to recover from such a major compulsion , I haven’t ruminated like this in so so long and it feels like I failed myself or like I’m giving in to something I just don’t want.
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