OCD and Limerence

Friends here with ROCD- I haven’t ever been in a serious relationship, the last time I “dated” was 8 years ago, and I don’t really think I know what it actually looks like to like someone. I’ve recognized a certain cycle that’s happened probably 20 times in my life but didn’t realize how unhealthy it was until this year. This is the cycle: I find a guy somewhat attractive, he either says something or does something small (normal, not out of the ordinary?), my brain takes this little thing(s) and obsesses over it & turns it into this huge deal where I keep thinking about him, stalking his social media, making me compulsive (googling things, asking friends for advice, etc), and making me believe I really like this guy. This has happened twice in the last 3 months. Does this happen to anyone else?! How do you break the cycle, etc? When I’m in the obsession phase, it literally lasts for a week and sometimes makes me physically sick from the stress. Help!

(Synopsis: Has your OCD ever latched on to someone and caused major changes in your life? How do you deal with feeling like a total creep?) My OCD has latched on to a guy I had a crush on through my school years. It started when I followed him on Instagram. I then broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years (which was for the best) and immediately started trying to SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. We DM’d and it went nowhere but I was EXTREMELY forward and aggressive to the point where a year later I am still very embarrassed by it. After that happened, I muted his story and posts and my obsessions faded. Then I was buying a home and since he is a carpenter I hit him up for a quote… It went nowhere as well probably because I BASICALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED HIM. Anyway, then I saw the gym he went to looked like something I might enjoy so I signed up. I fell in love with this gym and now I go every day when I was never an active person. I’ve seen him there a few times and we just say hello. Super awkward. My friend is into manifestation so she suggested I look into manifesting a “specific person” and there is all of this content online about manifesting someone into your life no matter the circumstances. All you have to do is speak it into truth. Well that doesn’t mix well with OCD so I FULLY convinced myself that he and I were meant to be and all of this insane stuff. I realized it was a problem when I was talking about him to every one of my friends and sounding like a weirdo. That’s when I started NOCD. That brings me to where I’m at now. Every time I go to the gym, I wonder if he will be there. When he pops into my head, I go to his (muted) Instagram to see what I missed. I still have lingering feelings that I am so obsessed with him because we are fated to be together. This man has been the catalyst to several big things in my life: breaking up a long term relationship, becoming a gym rat, and starting NOCD. I’m even in the beginnings of a great relationship and I still can’t stop these obsessions. I just started working on it with my therapist here but I need someone to relate to! Does anyone else have these obsessions and how do you deal with feeling like a stalker creep?

I thought what i have is rocd but i read about limerence and i learned that the two are different and i find myself more on that side than ocd... I always used to obsess about girls, but in a normal way, it never got weird like i started following them or something. I just daydreamed about us getting together and i was really into that cause im a positive person and i believe in manifestation. So i knew that if i put my mind into that, i might get the girl who i want. Im having the same thing like 6 months now over someone, i never felt this strong emotions and i saw it like i finally found someone who aligns with my values and i admire her because what she do and she is independent and strong, but this thing made alot of problems, eypecially when i had those moments when i felt like this is not possible, im stupid, im like a kid who daydreams about their crush but it will never happen... and i was so sad that it will never happen cause i never had seen a girl like this. Well obviously she isnt perfect, noone is. But i never had this feeling of admiration and love for someone and i desperately wanted this relationship to become true and prayed for that, cause i was and im still afraid that i will never find someone who makes me feel like this. And as i know the person is emotionally clever so we could talk about our problems, emotions, something i value, cause if you cant be open with your partner then thats a red flag... But all of this might be just my imagination. Cause later in time i started hearing things that made me question if she is the one, and i was afraid maybe i turned these things good just to make myself feel good about her. So im afraid i might have limerence and not real love. I thought this is just love with daydreaming, and i used alot of fake scenarios to build myself, to see what would i do in specific situations,to learn about myself and make myself a better person but now im afraid this was limerence...i made it up to make up a fake personality about myself...