I don’t like being alive like this

My entire body hurts. I’m struggling to make friends,my fear of getting rejected holds me back from making friends. I’m so fucking numb I can’t stand it hardly any longer. I have type 1 diabetes that I have to control on top of having untreated ocd. I can’t find a therapist atm that specializes because I can’t fucking afford therapy. I’m pretty sure talk therapy has made ocd worse. I don’t want to live like this. it’s not even me it’s a shell and I hate my life right now.

Givenup

Date posted: 1y ago

Im going through something similar... my fear of minors lying about their age online gets me so paranoid and just anxious and stressed... i cant sleep, i have nightmares, and i cant tell if people are lying online or not... i cant afford therapy in uni, and my ocd has been triggered a lot by posts ive seen online... your not alone... i despise my life too... you'll be able to overcome this... idk how ill be able to...

J1000

Date posted: 1y ago

Stay strong! Life can have some ups and downs but I always find that it’s the little things in life that keeps me going and enjoying life. Rejection is tough im pretty sure my fear of rejection is the cause of many of my ocd realms. But we can’t fear rejection. We can dislike rejection and the feeling of it but we can’t fear it. Look at rejection as a arrows pointing you to the right direction where you can find meaningful friends who will enjoy you for you. Try participating local events that you are interested in, you can meet like minded people there. OCD sucks and I’m sorry you are not in a financial situation to get the help you deserve. Just be kind to yourself and know sometimes life is difficult but through difficulty you will come out stronger.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi maybe try your state’s affordable health care act plan. You may be eligible for good insurance and it may cover NOCD like it does for me! Maybe also ask about mental health resources in your area or call NOCD or the IOCDF’s numbers and ask for help. All the best

Hersheydog1!

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey you doing okay? Here if you need to talk <3

Brian__

Date posted: 24w ago

Abt to give up atp

I’m so sick of this disorder I really am. I’m failing school because I havent gone in 5 days because of ocd, im sick right now but I could easily go to school if I wanted to, it’s not because I’m sick, it’s because I’m genuinely afraid to go out, I did a exposure by going to a fair two days ago and it was genuinely fucking horrible, I don’t feel like it helped me. I’m gonna go to school tomorrow but I’m just terrified and I know I’m gonna be miserable and it’s gonna flare up horribly. I don’t want to accept or cope with the fact I have ocd. I don’t want to be ok with my thoughts, why should I have to be ok with my thoughts to get better? Why was I made this way? Why can’t I just be normal? I don’t want to accept the fact I have horrible disgusting thoughts why should I? It makes me feel disgusting and sick. I just really wish I wasn’t dealing with this. I don’t want to die I just wish I was different, so different. I’m so sick of this. I know my past wasn’t my fault but I feel sick and disgusted and like I’m a sick fuck who should be killed or put in jail. I really can’t take it anymore i just want to be ok. I know what it feels like to be happy I just don’t know how to get back there. I was doing so good for 3 weeks. Not a single intrusive thought or urge. I was genuinely happy and now I feel horrible. I don’t want to live like this or be ok with it I just can’t it’s never gonna end why is it fair that I have to live like this?

Sage._

Date posted: 7w ago

I don't think I can handle my ocd anymore

I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.

1Jwg3tb3tter

Date posted: 26d ago

I don’t like myself

I’m really down and don’t have anyone i feel i can turn to. I’m just so tired of living as myself. I hate who i love with including myself. I feel so worthless. Having ocd on top of it makes me feel like im just a waste of space. I dont know how to stop feeling this way. Or if i deserve to. That’s all :(

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I don’t like being alive like this

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