Suicidal ocd

Again i had a suicidal thought and why i feels so real is because it came with so strong emotions. I felt hopeless and panicking that i want a way out ans then i was hit by a huge shame and sadness cause i dont want to die... its so hard, what do i do with all those emotions... it feels like its true, expecially when im in a hard situation, like actually something bad happens. I dont see the difference between my thoughts and emotions and someone who is sttuggling with suicidal thoughts. I know personally someone who had self harm problems and wbat helped him was the "thoughs are not you", and we use the same thing, and whenever i think about that my mind says maybe it works cause i have the same thing as people with suicidal feelings and emotions. Its a lie that everyone wants to die cause i heard about people who doesnt like their suicidal rhoughts and feelings, they feel shame about it and are afraid of it... well its the same we go through... and the usual ocd method is to say "maybe maybe not" but it gives me feeling of shame, shame that maybe i was close to end my life. We dont know the answer but im tired that it comes back always with this strong feeling, like hopelessness, sadness, anger. I give an exenple lets say i lose someone, ans then i experience a thought that i have noone, i lost someone who is important to me, the world is unsafe, i want to get out of here, this comes with the feeling of despair, sadness, anger and hopelessnes cause i have a real problem, i lost someone so i can say i feel this becauee of that and even therapists would say im experiencing suicidal feelings. Yet some say its ocd. How? I just want to understand how its ocd when poeple with the same experience get diagnosed with suicidal thoughts and feelings?

Username: brittc41886brittc41886

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Hey there! I too suffer from harm suicidal ocd and in fact lost me father in that way recently so to say the least that my ocd latched on to all those “what if” thoughts and I’m struggling in the way you are as well. I did listen to a good podcast on this topic that kind of better differentiates between the two. I know for me my what if I did …xyz thoughts the very fact that it provokes so much anxiety in me and even speaking the words makes me incredibly fearful i know these thoughts are not who I am and completely ego dystonic…check out the ocd stories pod cast its pretty enlightening

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 45w ago

I dont want to give you thoughts so i go to another exemple, yesterday i realized how people instead of listening to you, they juat give advices and bad ones, so then a feeling and thought came up that said "im alone in this, its better if i die, life scks" there was not a what if question it was straight up saying it. And if i share this to a therapist or someone who is having suicidal thoughts will say its the same. I dont need people to tell me its not true youre not alone yeah i know, thats not the problem, the problem is how is different when its the same?

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 45w ago

Also i realized what i jerk i am, im really sorry for your loss, hope youre not alone

Username: proudmommyproudmommy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

I feel you with this theme. I'm currently going through it because of health problems that I've been fixating on. Makes you feel alone and you start having those thoughts. I don't have any advice. Just know that there's people like you and I that struggle with this. That you're not alone. I truly hope this theme passes for you quickly.

Username: brittc41886brittc41886

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Feel you both!

Username: holytropical!

Date posted: 5y ago

(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??

Harm OCD

Username: PRIV8

Date posted: 2y ago

Okay i will be honest cause i had enough of this

My question is can Ocd gives you feelings of the horrible inteusive thought that you have are things you want like the harm thought you have, you have a feeling of "i want to do this cause i feel like it, i will enjoy it" Yesterday i got really angry cause i did something bad,then i wanted to focus on something else but a deep feeling of "no i want to feel this pain" came that really made me scared, and i had to let myself feel that everything is bad, im alone, nobody will help, i wanted to shift my attention but the feeling of no this is an authentic feeling just pushed me back,then all of this created a thought and a feeling of i should die, nothing will be better... since then im terrified that im actually suicidal or not, cause when i want to feel better,i get this feeling of i dont want to feel good,.i want to feel bad cause everything is bad, and i feel terribble and hopeless about this. Can this be ocd? Another one,the harm thoughts, whenever i have one i have a feeling to and thoughts that says i would enjoy that. Im really asking this cause i had enough...

Username: Aislinndest

Date posted: 1y ago

Does this sound like ocd?

I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.

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Suicidal ocd

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