i think my mind is accepting the thoughts in my head. I don’t wanna be gay i wanna feel like my old self again. I keep getting groinal responses to men and i cant find women attractive anymore. But all my life i have loved women and all i have ever wanted was a girlfriend. i need help
That’s what ocd wants you to believe. I went through the exact same thing. Just let those feelings happen, it will pass, then move on and try to not let it bother you. It’s hard, but you have to get through the hard stuff in order to feel better! Just tell yourself, “it’s not me, it’s the ocd”
@Pinkprincess23 Even with feelings which seem real ?
@star1232 Absolutely! I had awful “groinal responses” and was terrified I had a crush on a girl. I just had to learn to let the thoughts come and go. Now that I have trained myself to be that way, I am in a healthy heterosexual relationship. I never have intrusive thoughts or groinal responses anymore. But I promise anything you can think of when it comes to HOCD, I probably experienced it. I struggled with it for 6 years. You can overcome it!
@Pinkprincess23 what are your groinals like?
@Pinkprincess23 Can I ask what were your main strategies to allow the thoughts to pass? So let’s say thought cones in, you’re convinced it means you’re gay, you are even having thoughts that deep down, you’re faking it. How did you allow it to pass ? Any strategies that worked really well?
@gp The quote I would go to is, “it’s not me, it’s the ocd.” Sometimes your body will even tense up while you’re having this intrusive thought/feeling, but I promise it will pass. You have to tell yourself you aren’t going to explore the thought any deeper. Simply let it go. Don’t try to figure out what it means, don’t listen to those other voices in your head telling you that you’re gay. You really just have to sit there in discomfort, don’t explore the thought anymore, then it will pass
@Pinkprincess23 Thanks :) I have to admit. I try so hard to ignore them, but as soon as my mind kind of feels like they are real or I want them, it’s like I give up and have to find some form of comfort or reassurance. So you think just keep trying to ignore?
@gp Yes, you have to ignore! It is the only way to get better. Don’t try to figure out what the thoughts or feelings mean. Just let it go. I promise it gets better!
@Pinkprincess23 And the idea is that the more you practice the easier it gets. And your natural attractions and feelings start to take back over? Is that about right?
@gp Yes! Exactly! You will start to get relief each time you just let it go. As soon as I figured that out, the battle I struggled with for 6 excruciating years literally went away within days. You will feel like a new person
@Pinkprincess23 I have attraction and crushes to every memeber of same sex and groinals too
@Pinkprincess23 how long did it take exactly. Also did you ever have the thoughts or scenarios that you were gonna come out to the people in ur life?
@Anonymous 224 Once I figured out that I just had to let the thoughts come and go I was automatically better within days. Yes, I had those scenarios in my head. Anything you can think of I probably have gone through. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or ocd specialized therapist?
@Pinkprincess23 no i have not seen any therapist or psychiatrist
@Anonymous 224 I highly recommend doing so. I immediately felt better talking to a professional and hearing the actual validation that I had OCD. That was a game changer for me. I drive 3 hours to see an OCD specialist/therapist as well. I take prosac for OCD and lamictal for a mood stabilizer. Of course, my ocd themes are different now. Looking back on those six years that I worried about being gay it’s so silly to me! I can look at gay people in public and not get uncomfortable— not that I was homophobic, I just always thought “am I gay? Would I be happier in a gay relationship?” (I actually played college softball and homosexuality is very common in that sport so it was miserable for me for years) I am a huge ally for the LGBTQ community, and I am 100% comfortable with that. This helped me: if you were actually gay, those thoughts about being with a person of the same gender would give you comfort, excitement, would make you happy. It shows how your ocd is getting to you by feeling disturbed/uncomfortable with the thoughts you have.
@Pinkprincess23 How did you do it!!
i think i’ll look into it more but i’m scared that they are gonna tell me i don’t have ocd
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
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