Worried about relationships

I really want to get into a relationship this year but I'm anxious because my sister is always telling me about what you should and shouldn't do in relationships and it's making me overthink. My sister talks about how you don't really know the person you're dating because they have a representative up. She says guys will say anything to keep you around even if they don't really like you e.g. ask you to be their girlfriend. She says that being together for a year doesn't mean anything and you're basically single until you're married. She says that many guys have girls as a placeholder until who they really want comes along. It's things like this and more that is making me anxious about being in a relationship. It feels like too many things to think about at once and now I know I'm going to be worried if I am doing the right actions or not to avoid all the things they have warned me about.

spaceo

Date posted: 1y

I don't wanna reassure you but I've read the same thing were guys have you as a place holder but in the opposite stance we're it's girls have you as a backup until whole they really want comes along if that makes sense at all lol. I'd just say do what you want, find the right person that is honest, and MOST importantly remember to stay safe and worry about your boundaries first. This I assume you know but I'm just saying, I wouldn't listen to her too much unless of course you want to.

Browndress

Date posted: 1y

If you want, I suggest to look into biblical dating.

savannahframe19

Date posted: 23w

ugh

i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching

thebookgirl

Date posted: 16w

Worrying About Giving Partner the Wrong Idea

I'm 30 years old and in my first official relationship. We've been talking for three months and dating for two. I like this man very much. He's kind-hearted, thoughtful, incredibly smart, and very sweet to me. On our most recent date, we had a heart-to-heart about intentions. We've only slept together once. Circumstances haven't been ideal for both of us, but I was worried there was something wrong with me (story of my life). He assured me that there isn't anything wrong with me and that he is attracted to me, there's just been a lot going on that's gotten in the way of being that intimate. He also told me he wants me to know that this is more than sex. I was very relieved to hear this, and very happy to know that he wants a deeper relationship, as I want this, as well. I just keep worrying that he thinks all I want is sex, which is not true. I told him as much, but the OCD part of my brain just can't let it go and can't accept that things are good, which they are. We show affection in other ways, like holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling at the movies. I just keep feeling like I've ruined things. Can anyone give me any advice?

Relationship OCD

NoraKate_6

Date posted: 16w

Never been in a relationship but having rocd

I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before, and I’ve never experienced loving someone so much I want them to be with me and be the “right person”. My entire life is surrounded by people who are in love and have those movie like relationships. My sibling, cousins and best friends. I’m absolutely done with the “right person this and right person that” talk because I don’t know if I will ever get my “right person”. At this point they are band aiding my issues with the bs of “you’ll find when you aren’t look” (fine I’ll just have walk around blind folded ig?) My ROCD is in weird ways. I don’t have a partner. My cycle goes like this, I have to look a certain way and act desirable so I can attract a boyfriend and heal all my trauma so I can be present and perfect! Then I realize none of that actually works and I spiral. Thinking I’m gonna be alone forever and no one will actually love me because there is something wrong with me. I was always the “chronically single” one in the friend group and they cannot comprehend me doing romantic things. I feel so lost, I don’t know how to calm myself down. I get triggered by couples and my family. Because they have something I don’t. I can’t explain how it even triggers me, I just feel this rage.

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Worried about relationships

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