pocd help :(

i know i keep posting about this but it’s making me so sad, i feel like a creep and that i should never have kids of my own but i really want to be a mom. this theme is so hard to deal with because of the compulsions(physical and mental) and groinal responses. i can’t even hear anything about kids or look at anything without having intrusive thoughts and or compulsions. also earlier today on Reddit i was asking for pocd help and ended up meeting an actual p who was NOT trying to help me, i stopped texting him immediately but im still scared, do i attract creeps because i am one? if i was one i wouldn’t be able to live with myself, seriously. this is so frustrating im only 18 and i have had boyfriends and girlfriends, sexual relationships, etc, like a normal person, but all of this pocd makes me feel not normal. i want to cry. i don’t want to be around anyone because i feel like im a p who’s hiding it:(

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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dee012

Date posted: 1y

@Sinking, drowning thank you for this. i really appreciate it. it just sucks because the groinal responses do feel like arousal and i have compulsions to “ease it” or “get rid of” the intrusive thoughts. it sounds so gross. it’s so hard to accept the maybe maybe not. even one time i explained my ocd to a friend a couple years back and she was weirded out. it just doesn’t make sense to me why my brain is like this. sorry if im being rant-y now lol. recently i had a conversation with someone on Reddit who ended up being extremely weird to me and actually sounding like he likes all that stuff and being super gross, it now is making me feel like what if im like him or what if im just using pocd as a “mask”. idk it’s just hard. it usually goes away for a while and then flares up super bad.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I just want to say that you're not alone and I experienced this too, when I was 18. I'd love to be able to say that I've moved on but I think it's just moved from worrying about myself to people around me. At the moment it's my partner I'm obsessing about. It's really hard but I know better days are coming. Sending healing.

dee012

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous thank u so much for ur words, it means a lot, i hope you get better with your rocd, sending healing and love also:)

dee012

Date posted: 1y

also i use to feel extreme anxiety, now its less and more of a shameful guilty sad feeling, like impending doom.

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