moxley
- Date posted
- 5y
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the same way. I was doing ok with no crazy spikes. I probably had some different attractions to some guys but it was all just shrugged off. A month ago I watched Bohemian Rhapsody with my wife and daughter and there’s a scene where Freddy Mercury tells his girlfriend, “I think I’m bisexual.” She says, “No Freddy you’re gay.” I don’t know since then I’ve had so much trouble. I’m trying to do some ERP now which I’ve never done
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 5y
Thats where im at rn. I really dont want to be gay. The anxiety is gone replaced by "feelings." But it's a lie if i am and a lie if im not. But think of it this way. It's a cycle. This pattern keeps repeating and we keep falling for it. It's HOCD. People in the lgbtq+ don't go through this same cycle. They just are gay or recognize that they are and deal with that realization. Us HOCD people go through uncertainty, loss of attraction, numbness, confusion, relief for a time, then it starts again. It's hard but it'll be ok. Hope this helps.
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 5y
it is so good to know that are people that feel like us. hope u feel better, just remember u aren’t alone
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 5y
i lose the attraction to women too, but i think it is pretty normal in people with hocd. i used to be really sad and crying all the time but now i just get anxious and my mind tells me that i want to be gay. it sucks, but we will get better
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 5y
I do a lot of memory ruminating back to high school and even before. Do I remember liking so and so as much as the girls, etc. I need to STOP doing that.
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 5y
do you have thoughts that say like “ this time is diferent “ ? and tysm
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea all the time. Like rn im soo triggered by the feelins, thoughts, and urges. Or the fact that i find girls attractive but not where i want to date them. So everytime that happens I say this is it this is where ik im gay or bi. Then i just get sad
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea it is good to know. Im glad we have this forum. Same to u
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve also been trying to stop compulsions such as looking at Instagram girls or whatever to reassure myself of the attraction. Now it seems like I’m losing attraction to women.
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 19w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
edimichael
- Date posted
- 17w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 15w
hocd
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
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