how can i be sure that i have hocd for like 3 weeks and now just feel like i’m constantly lying to myself and i’m actually gay ? it feels so real and i don’t have that much anxiety right now, and that’s worrying me

I feel the same way. I was doing ok with no crazy spikes. I probably had some different attractions to some guys but it was all just shrugged off. A month ago I watched Bohemian Rhapsody with my wife and daughter and there’s a scene where Freddy Mercury tells his girlfriend, “I think I’m bisexual.” She says, “No Freddy you’re gay.” I don’t know since then I’ve had so much trouble. I’m trying to do some ERP now which I’ve never done

Thats where im at rn. I really dont want to be gay. The anxiety is gone replaced by "feelings." But it's a lie if i am and a lie if im not. But think of it this way. It's a cycle. This pattern keeps repeating and we keep falling for it. It's HOCD. People in the lgbtq+ don't go through this same cycle. They just are gay or recognize that they are and deal with that realization. Us HOCD people go through uncertainty, loss of attraction, numbness, confusion, relief for a time, then it starts again. It's hard but it'll be ok. Hope this helps.

it is so good to know that are people that feel like us. hope u feel better, just remember u aren’t alone

i lose the attraction to women too, but i think it is pretty normal in people with hocd. i used to be really sad and crying all the time but now i just get anxious and my mind tells me that i want to be gay. it sucks, but we will get better

I do a lot of memory ruminating back to high school and even before. Do I remember liking so and so as much as the girls, etc. I need to STOP doing that.

do you have thoughts that say like “ this time is diferent “ ? and tysm

Yea all the time. Like rn im soo triggered by the feelins, thoughts, and urges. Or the fact that i find girls attractive but not where i want to date them. So everytime that happens I say this is it this is where ik im gay or bi. Then i just get sad

Yea it is good to know. Im glad we have this forum. Same to u

I’ve also been trying to stop compulsions such as looking at Instagram girls or whatever to reassure myself of the attraction. Now it seems like I’m losing attraction to women.