moxley
- Date posted
- 6y
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the same way. I was doing ok with no crazy spikes. I probably had some different attractions to some guys but it was all just shrugged off. A month ago I watched Bohemian Rhapsody with my wife and daughter and there’s a scene where Freddy Mercury tells his girlfriend, “I think I’m bisexual.” She says, “No Freddy you’re gay.” I don’t know since then I’ve had so much trouble. I’m trying to do some ERP now which I’ve never done
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 6y
Thats where im at rn. I really dont want to be gay. The anxiety is gone replaced by "feelings." But it's a lie if i am and a lie if im not. But think of it this way. It's a cycle. This pattern keeps repeating and we keep falling for it. It's HOCD. People in the lgbtq+ don't go through this same cycle. They just are gay or recognize that they are and deal with that realization. Us HOCD people go through uncertainty, loss of attraction, numbness, confusion, relief for a time, then it starts again. It's hard but it'll be ok. Hope this helps.
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 6y
it is so good to know that are people that feel like us. hope u feel better, just remember u aren’t alone
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 6y
i lose the attraction to women too, but i think it is pretty normal in people with hocd. i used to be really sad and crying all the time but now i just get anxious and my mind tells me that i want to be gay. it sucks, but we will get better
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 6y
I do a lot of memory ruminating back to high school and even before. Do I remember liking so and so as much as the girls, etc. I need to STOP doing that.
moxleymoxley
- Date posted
- 6y
do you have thoughts that say like “ this time is diferent “ ? and tysm
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 6y
Yea all the time. Like rn im soo triggered by the feelins, thoughts, and urges. Or the fact that i find girls attractive but not where i want to date them. So everytime that happens I say this is it this is where ik im gay or bi. Then i just get sad
honorroll1honorroll1
- Date posted
- 6y
Yea it is good to know. Im glad we have this forum. Same to u
BP1982BP1982
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve also been trying to stop compulsions such as looking at Instagram girls or whatever to reassure myself of the attraction. Now it seems like I’m losing attraction to women.
Related posts
Ampyyy
- Date posted
- 23w
Hocd
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 21w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
youllwintheb...
- Date posted
- 19w
Hocd (recovery or ocd in controll?)
I haven't had anxiety for 1 week, I haven't had so many thoughts, but when it comes to sexuality I feel discomfort and I feel like something is pressing on my chest, it's very disturbing, and I still have attraction (false I hope), I wasn't diagnosed with hocd but I had all the symptoms, (now I don't have anxiety anymore, except when a feeling that I'm gay appears), I no longer felt that strong need to watch videos on yt or look for things that would make me feel comfortable, so somehow I managed to keep this under control, but I don't know if it's recovery or if I'm just lying to myself that I'm not gay. If anyone has any ideas, I hope they write something here
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