I feel that I cannot go on sometimes, I feel that I would harshly judge anyone with my problem and with my thoughts, what does this mean and how do I stop it from killing me?
Mate - the very day my first impactful intrusive thought came in (10 years ago) it was like I lost the ability or wasn’t ‘allowed’ to feel happiness and calmness. It’s like my existence changed. I instantly didn’t like food anymore … felt nothing for my family and worse. Horrible
@gp Thank you, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had this since I was 13/14 and everytime I came out of it I would realize my thoughts were so illogical and that my suffering was so pointless but this time is different and I can’t really figure out why. I remember and regret so much how I didn’t appreciate the times when I could be sad or upset over normal people stuff and now all I do is feel disgust and hatred towards myself. I really wish you well. Thank you for the reply
It means that you are really overwhelmed at the moment. I had this last month and I stopped talking for a week. Everything felt like too much. It would help to speak to someone like a therapist. I'm also here to listen if you want to talk about what's on your mind.
@Studybug Thank you, can I ask if you’ve ever had a period where you lost all hope and then recovered, I’ve had ocd for a long time but it has never felt this bad before even when k was 16 and I couldn’t even leave my house to go to the grocery store.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. 🧡 I also wish that I had been happier and more appreciative of my life before it got so bad this last year. I’m terrified of being judged harshly for what’s in my head. You’re not alone. 🧡 But although I have my horrifying moments, I have my good moments too. Overall, I’m more hopeful now than I was five months ago, if that’s encouraging. :)
@Samm1999 Thank you, it really is.
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
Everything is building up and I don’t see a way out.
Like your life is coming to an end and you just can’t keep going because no matter what you are alone and nothing works out except a minor few. Like what is the point of being here if no one even cares about you and just uses you to their advantage. I’m done. I fucking hate this world and all the people living in it.
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