I feel that I cannot go on sometimes, I feel that I would harshly judge anyone with my problem and with my thoughts, what does this mean and how do I stop it from killing me?
Mate - the very day my first impactful intrusive thought came in (10 years ago) it was like I lost the ability or wasn’t ‘allowed’ to feel happiness and calmness. It’s like my existence changed. I instantly didn’t like food anymore … felt nothing for my family and worse. Horrible
@gp Thank you, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had this since I was 13/14 and everytime I came out of it I would realize my thoughts were so illogical and that my suffering was so pointless but this time is different and I can’t really figure out why. I remember and regret so much how I didn’t appreciate the times when I could be sad or upset over normal people stuff and now all I do is feel disgust and hatred towards myself. I really wish you well. Thank you for the reply
It means that you are really overwhelmed at the moment. I had this last month and I stopped talking for a week. Everything felt like too much. It would help to speak to someone like a therapist. I'm also here to listen if you want to talk about what's on your mind.
@Studybug Thank you, can I ask if you’ve ever had a period where you lost all hope and then recovered, I’ve had ocd for a long time but it has never felt this bad before even when k was 16 and I couldn’t even leave my house to go to the grocery store.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. 🧡 I also wish that I had been happier and more appreciative of my life before it got so bad this last year. I’m terrified of being judged harshly for what’s in my head. You’re not alone. 🧡 But although I have my horrifying moments, I have my good moments too. Overall, I’m more hopeful now than I was five months ago, if that’s encouraging. :)
@Samm1999 Thank you, it really is.
I’m really down and don’t have anyone i feel i can turn to. I’m just so tired of living as myself. I hate who i love with including myself. I feel so worthless. Having ocd on top of it makes me feel like im just a waste of space. I dont know how to stop feeling this way. Or if i deserve to. That’s all :(
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
I feel like im no longer living im only 17 and i use to be so excited to turn 18 recently i feel like life is pointless and its all i think about including philosophy and i never liked that before. It has taken complete joy out of my life anything simple like watching a movie feels pointless because it has no meaning and i feel as if my life has zero meaning because i am not important. I am constantly criticizing everything. For example i went to a concert ive been dying to see and when i got there i didnt enjoy it all because i felt like it was pointless. Is there anyone that has experienced this that has advice I feel like im in hell rn
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