I feel that I cannot go on sometimes, I feel that I would harshly judge anyone with my problem and with my thoughts, what does this mean and how do I stop it from killing me?
Mate - the very day my first impactful intrusive thought came in (10 years ago) it was like I lost the ability or wasn’t ‘allowed’ to feel happiness and calmness. It’s like my existence changed. I instantly didn’t like food anymore … felt nothing for my family and worse. Horrible
@gp Thank you, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had this since I was 13/14 and everytime I came out of it I would realize my thoughts were so illogical and that my suffering was so pointless but this time is different and I can’t really figure out why. I remember and regret so much how I didn’t appreciate the times when I could be sad or upset over normal people stuff and now all I do is feel disgust and hatred towards myself. I really wish you well. Thank you for the reply
It means that you are really overwhelmed at the moment. I had this last month and I stopped talking for a week. Everything felt like too much. It would help to speak to someone like a therapist. I'm also here to listen if you want to talk about what's on your mind.
@Studybug Thank you, can I ask if you’ve ever had a period where you lost all hope and then recovered, I’ve had ocd for a long time but it has never felt this bad before even when k was 16 and I couldn’t even leave my house to go to the grocery store.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. 🧡 I also wish that I had been happier and more appreciative of my life before it got so bad this last year. I’m terrified of being judged harshly for what’s in my head. You’re not alone. 🧡 But although I have my horrifying moments, I have my good moments too. Overall, I’m more hopeful now than I was five months ago, if that’s encouraging. :)
@Samm1999 Thank you, it really is.
When you feel like you can’t live anymore because of your terrible intrusive thoughts, What do you do? How do you overcome this? I don’t want to do anything to myself but I want this all to end.
I don't know why i feel like this. Could it be because I'm going through things? Maybe depression. Could anyone help me out?
I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit lost to be honest with my thoughts. They feel so real, they actually hurt so much. Why do I find myself comparing to my boyfriends and my friends? I’m not them, they got nothing to deal with me. It’s just that I feel the need to prove I have it worse, and to do that is to partake in actual harm. I have been feeling really low lately, honestly I feel like I’m losing it. It’s a scary feelings to think unaliving myself may be an option for me but I don’t want to do that. In all the hardships in life, there is so good in there. I have my boyfriend , I got good grades, I have a good home life I guess, I have friends and other amazing things too. It sad to say but I kinda need some comfort to know I’ll be fine. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes right now. When people tell me their struggles I compare them to my own. When people give me advice, I overthink it. When I have something hope it gets torn apart. My heart hurts a lot. I feel like even if I do pass I’ll just be another number, like a casualty and no one would care. But that’s not true, people do care about me enough that they want me to live. I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I need help. But I feel like I don’t? God fucking damn it leave me the hell alone. I didn’t do nothing at all. I’m a good person I have morals and I have everything that is fit for me. But why go for everything I care about huh? Let me heal in peace. I can’t even pick up a fucking pencil with other thinking about whenever I could draw good, or even take a breather. it’s disabling its fucked and it’s hurts. Leave me alone. I’m too young to bear this pain. Living isn’t supposed to be a chore. It supposed to be something to look toward to the happy things in life. I fear I’d slip one day and do something awful to myself. It takes more than two painkiller to kill you right? I won’t do anything bad. Maybe I shouldn’t consider this though. I feel like I’ve reach pure insanity with my mental health. Maybe I am depressed or something. God I need help. But why do people try to even help me? Why do they care? I feel myself switching. I’m trying my best to not believe anything my thoughts are telling me. I feel so awful to the point I feel happy. What type of sick shit is this? I do care. But at the same time I feel nothing. This is terrifying and torturous. Please help me. What is this?
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