Moms with pocd can you help?

Hi! So are you married and if so do you ever question your husband? Like thinking what if he would do something? It's heartbreaking and once I get stuck on it it's almost like I start to push myself easy because I got the thought and then it feels "real" that he would.

@Anonymous2414 Hi ! Yes married !! Hmm id say ive had the thought pass but it didnt stick, i think only because my brain is most of the time so hyperfocused on ME being the problem 🤪

@Anonymous I find that my ocd always latches to when i question myself , whether thats POCD, SO/OCD, or even ROCD . But knowing ocd and seeing that nothing is off limits its not surprising for your thought to go there 🙏🏼 so try not to spend too much time on the thought itself and recognize it as another ocd trick

@Anonymous Thank you. His dad went to prison for this stuff so it latches on to that fact. But I know just because his dad would doesn't mean he would. And so our son was picking his plate and my husband said "okay stop doing that" and my mind instantly remembered a time when his dad told his neice not to wear short shorts, and it never really crossed my mind until after he went to prison. And now I'm like "okay, did he tell him to stop licking the plate because of like in that way?!" Ahhh I wish I could shut my brain off. But the more I worry about it, the more I don't even want to kiss or hug him. This stuff really knows how to destroy your life bit by bit.

@Anonymous2414 Gahh im sorry you’re goin thru this right now, but even as i read it i thought to myself i KNOW id be doing the same thing. So heres my question, does your husband know you have OCD / nature of your themes?

@Anonymous Yes he does. He's known since my youngest was born and I spiraled

@Anonymous2414 Well thats great maybe its something you could share with him? I know this can teeter on edge of reassurance seeking but its not a completely out there fear, even for someone without OCD im saying. Do you have a therapist, before entertaining my advice maybe see what they would recommend. What are your husbands thoughts on his father? maybe you can find some peace there

@Anonymous No therapist. I used to. He hates him. But then my brain is like "yea but cheaters say they hate cheaters and talk down to girls they would end up cheating with" ughhhh. He did talk to him in the beginning when he first went to jail and I asked him why, and he said because he was confused.

@Anonymous2414 idk how long youve had the app but i have my therapist thru here and im so grateful for her,does your insurance cover? Maybe it would be helpful to navigate thru this because id probably be having the same thoughts if i were in your boat. With that being said, altho i cant personally relate, i get it 🙏🏼 the only reason that i would be afraid to talk to my husband in this scenario , is because i worry i will trigger someone else into OCD (i dont think this is possible if someone doesnt have the disorder BUT my heart wants to tell you to talk to him about it , express that it is a fear and then my head is saying but what if HE starts worrying about it then 🫠

@Anonymous Oh yea I already told him I worried about him sometimes and he wasn't mad at all. I asked him how he was so calm and he said because he knows that's not him so why would he be mad

@Anonymous2414 Well thats AMAZING then. I guess you have to remind yourself what youre even telling me then. This is most likely your OCD latching , can we know for 100% certainty that its not true? no. But we can pretty close , and if that doesnt feel true (at least right now) you can focus on the fact that youve already expressed the fear, hes already told you his truth, and youve done All you can do in that aspect. im sure youre a good mother and if god for bid it goes down that path, you will be aware and make the necessary changes

@Anonymous As far as the sleeping scenario , its possible he was asleep , its also possible hes maybe playfully lying? Lol something my husband would do . But this gets tricky too because alot of MY ocd is around fear of doing something asleep, or half asleep and not remembering 🫤 so what i have to tell MYSELF is “maybe, maybe not”

@Anonymous Thank you for talking to me. I really appreciate your time! Seriously. I know I've been panicking a lot. Thank you!!!

I wish I knew. Are you a mom too? Thanks for sharing your experience and how it can feel similar

Also, when you say heartbeat feeling do you mean there was pauses between each feeling like longer pauses than an actually heartbeat? I'm sorry for sounding crazy trying to figure this out

I have been dying to talk to another mom who struggles with this too. Have you ever worried "omg was that an "o" with a very strong groinal that wouldn't stop?

Thank you for helping. I really appreciate it. I've never met someone yet that was worried about it being an "o". I know that's reassurance but when it comes to our kids I feel sometimes it helps to know others share the same worry

It started when I was 15ish. But postpartum made it worse again for each child. I have two kids

That's crazy how it was around the same age. I'm 34! I'd ask if you have IG or something to chat but that would probably lead to me asking questions for compulsion lol

So mine has shifted back to worrying about myself again. Ahhhh. So like today my son was resting his head on my lap while I was on the computer. I was like awww he wants to cuddle. Because usually he is a daddy's boy. But then I kept noticing intense groinals and sensations. I tried to be like okay whatever and move on but then it was so intense and I'm like "could this turn into an "o" and I had to keep moving over a little. Then I'd feel guilty when I moved and was like seriously you can't even cuddle with your kid. But if nothing is wrong with me then why was it so intense and felt real. Like very real.

@Anonymous2414 Its so crazy that ive (and probably alot of other moms on here) have experienced almost the exact same scenarios, trust me. Ive had the same thoughts and worries . And i think its the same reason for my situation its just the hyper awareness…if youre obsessing over that response (which i know is the case for myself) its just going to keep happening and then when you focus on it plus external factors, it just intensifies, but thats when we just gotta remind ourselves this is OCD. This is what it does.

@Anonymous But consistently and not letting up?! And feeling extremely real

@Anonymous2414 Well i think it does feel extremely real because it is a real sensation, but it doesnt mean that its stemming from the same place as true arousal, its stemming from anxiety and hyperawarness. Did it let up when you moved and then proceeded through out your day?

@Anonymous Just when I'm getting better something like this has to happen. So today the groinal thing happened. And then after I had to go to the bathroom and I noticed like wetness stuff in underwear. I can't get over thinking if it's from the groinal. How can I move on with this and have you ever worried about this before after a groinal and the underwear thing and being like omg is that from the groinal?

@Anonymous2414 Hey hey. yes same thoughts.same worries… but idk im trying to move on from them too , its probably the harder part of this for me. The more i think about them the more frequently they happen. Sometimes i can move past, sometimes i get stuck . I work with kids too so its tough. Diaper changes are annoying 😫 trying to remind myself that its an anxiety response.

@Anonymous It's hard. I feel like I can move on if this current worry isn't from the groinal. Ahhhh but I hope you're doing good.

@Anonymous2414 I totally agree. Its just an added layer, i get it, im ok, some days better than others, i do feel my medication helps with that though, zoloft.

I'm so sorry I didn't see that you commented this otherwise I would have responded way earlier. Yes I'm always in hyperaware mode. I can see why your brain went there. I know that you know deep down that it is ocd. I think the good news is that you picked her up and held her in a loving way without ocd. THEN ocd took over. Because in the moment you didn't have a fear. You were focused on just picking her up and holding her normal.

No but I wanted to before. Maybe I will

Do you ever wake up with an "o" from a dream like its not a groinal but am "o"? Well that happened this morning and I'm freaking out because the dream was about another adult touching me but As I woke up my sons foot was touching my hip area so I'm afraid it had something to do with the dream Not only that but as I woke up I just let it continue and then started moving his foot away. Like I didn't stop it completely before moving his foot away. I started moving him away as it was finishing. It's hard to explain but I can't help but feel I did something wrong or that somehow him sleeping close to me or his foot on my hip and leg area caused it

That message above from this morning was supposed to go to you but I think I replied to myself instead

@Anonymous2414 Hey girl!! Didnt meant to leave you hanging today!! Just got around to checking in on the app . SO . Yes its happened to me before and i think its one of the reasons i have a deep rooted belief/fear that ‘ it is POSSIBLE to do something in my sleep, if im getting a real “o” even if its coming from a “acceptable sexual” dream’. Unfortunately ive even gotten them from same sex dreams too and that has thrown me in to ocd spirals. I even think the last time i did have that type of dream i woke up grateful i was in the bed alone because i KNOW my mind would have gone to the same place yours did. So heres the thing ITS ALL OCD. This is just how ocd keeps you in its grasp. Its so hard but in reality its like you just have to NOT CARE. Sometimes what helps me is saying “ocd demands do not need to be figured out or responded to” the details dont matter the content doesnt matter , minds and bodies are very complex things and sometimes things just dont make sense. And its not our responsibility to try and make it make sense. And as you and i both know, no matter how hard we even try… it never ends feeling 100% figured out . So heres what i suggest you do, keep doing everything that youd normally do… i know the thoughts “i shouldnt sleep with my kid anymore” or “ill sleep with a pillow or something to separate us just in case” but dont. Thats what ocd wants. Keep moving thru life as you normally would, and it will pass as do the rest of the thoughts, situations , scenarios of whatever is being thrown at you 🙏🏼

@Anonymous Thank you so much for taking the time to explain all of this. Has it ever happened with co sleeping for you too? This all makes sense. It's so hard to not try to move way over. But I have to stop doing that avoidance otherwise it just shows my brain it's bad when it's not. I know this but it's hard to implement Also, one more thing. Have you ever got such intense groinals around ovulation time when cuddling, etc. And you're like okay, does this mean something because it's ovulation time and people say you can be more "in the mood" The reason I worried was because I went a long time without a groinal then all of a sudden it was during ovulation time. This is draining. I hope you are doing good. And thanks again for your reply.

@Anonymous2414 No problem girl 🫶🏼 and im sure i have had it happen the difference of remembering if it did or not just depends on if im in and ocd flare up 😐 so the recent one i had i dont think it did but im sure its happened jusy in general because our little one sleeps with us Lol , and as far asthe ovulation time thought, its possible! But i never really correlated the two, its more like i either get them alll the fking time during a flare or im doing good mentally and not noticing or having them

Hi. Sorry I took so long to reply! I've been working like crazy. I'm better off and on. You did help though. Your responses are great. Yea, that is an easy way for your ocd to get everything twisted. Ocd is definitely a gaslighter haha. I hope you are feeling good today though

Same! I'm the exact same. I'm glad you are feeling good. Here's to a hopefully good day for the both of us 🙏🎉

Quick question ... so I'm super worried about the original reason I made this entire post. About how my son was sitting on my lap and then I felt the groinal get intense but as I moved him away I felt like this weird like pulsing or twitching feeling down there that did it like 3-5 times. But separately. I just can't see how that's a groinal. I'm so worried it was an "o". Were your goeinals ever like that? Basically after an actual "o" have you ever noticed like twitching feeling down there? Thats what I'm trying to describe It just worries me because before then I never had a groinal like that

@Anonymous2414 Hey! So I had a situation where I felt like it was feeling more intense but I really do think it’s just because its the brain hyperfocusing on it… And I’ve really been (at least trying) to tell myself that it is an anxiety response. So unfortunately it’s “down there”, but it really is no different than any other psychological sensation. Its tough because sometimes they are just automatic? Or sometimes i dont necessarily FEEL anxious When it happens but like i said when i either label it as an “anxiety response” or just a “weird bodily twitch” that im just very aware of, i can move past faster and i will tend to get less of them or none at all

@Anonymous I can tok usually but it's the fact of worrying if it's an "o" or was the start of one. It's draining. Thank you for being there

@Anonymous2414 I get it, truly i do, i guess logically speaking it COULD be ? But not coming from a place of true arousal, i think its possible from stress and anxiety since there are alot of nerve endings there that it can become triggered. Just like how sometimes your heart rate gets triggered when anxious …at least when ive spiraled i read that. i dove down a rabbit hole of people on reddit talking about groinals and “o”s from straight up stress

@Anonymous He was sitting on my lap against my chest though and I kept getting groinals. They just got stronger. Do you think it sounds like the "o"

@Anonymous2414 I dont think so, no. BUT we know this is reassurance seeking and if ur ocd could believe my reassurance, u wouldnt have OCD 🤪

@Anonymous Okay one more question. Do you mean you don't think it sounds like the "o" or that it was arousal? Or both. Just trying to clarify. And get an outside opinion

@Anonymous2414 I don’t think it was an O. I don’t think it was arousal.

@Anonymous Okay. Sorry for being annoying but thank you for your help. I'm going to try and calm down haha

@Anonymous2414 Never annoying 🙏🏼 ocd is annoying lol. And good! Sometimes good ole trash tv helps , currently watching love island lol

Hi. Thanks for checking. Trying to move forward but I'm still stuck. Like I get people have had the o for anxiety but I want to make sure it wasn't. Because I remember having strong groinals then I like used "down there" to make a pushing motion if that makes sense to push the feeling away. And I'm worried that triggered an o or the start of an o Only because of the repetitive pulsing and twitching feeling I got after that. Because not to be too tmi but after my husband and I are intimate and I "finish" I often get that twitching pulsing feeling for a little while. And it reminded me of it and now I can't convince myself it wasn't an o or the start of one. I hate this. I'm doing good otherwise and I hope you're doing good. I appreciate you for checking on me

Hi! Can I talk to you for a minute? So I've been good. Not too many groinals. But last night before bed and a little before that I kept getting strong groinals with just my sons knee and leg touching my leg. It was annoying. But the thing is it felt so real because of how intense it was. Now the thing I'm worried about is I had like a dream with an "o" it was about some random person but the thing I'm worried is it was only like a couple or so hours after I fell asleep. So this means because I was getting strong groinals that's what caused me to have a dream like that to get the "o" This is one thing that is too tricky to move on from. Have you ever had strong groinals like this before bed? And then had an "o" dream and worried the same that it was because of the groinals before sleep?

@Anonymous2414 Also the reason I'm worrying more is because it was only twoish hours after I fell asleep so it was close to the groinal. It's not like it was the next morning. So it's hard to believe it's not from that

@Anonymous2414 Hey!! So crazy you wrote because had a little ocd flare myself last/night! Thought about reaching out to you/ also to just see how you were holding up… So im not having EXACT same experience but in the same realm. For me the groinal responses have for the most part been not so bothersome. They happen but i can move past. The problem that im facing is that we co sleep with our daughter , shes 4 , its been a problem for like a year now lol but i digress. Most nights when i sleep, i sleep with my hands in my pants . So when i have a sexual dream ( some including an o , some on the brink of) my ocd will worry that somehow my hands are in HER pants. This is kinda the scenario that landed me in my current relapse back in DECEMBER! Since then im back on zoloft and in therapy and it has helped tremendously (as ive mentioned before) but i somtimes still get caught in this worry

@Anonymous I hear you about the co sleeping and it's hard when dream stuff happen but I'm glad we fight back in that aspect to be like nahhh they are still sleeping with us. It makes them feel safe. I think I'd be heartbroken if I told my son he can't sleep with us. Just knowing he would not feel as safe. I wish you could see your worry through my eyes. I can see right through it that it's definitely ocd messing with your mind. Some worries do stick so I get it. I'm glad the zoloft helps. I take luvox and I feel it does work for some things but other things not so much. I really hope you have a better day today. It's crazy how much our brains can make us believe something.

You really don't think they correlate? Even though the o dream happened not long after I fell asleep? I can't remember if it was just in my dream or if it woke me up like being real but I remember it happening in my dream and it was some random person. I was scared to go to bed too because I was like if I have a dream o that means this groinal is real .... and sure enough. It was so intense and felt real. I'm so thankful to have you, as another mom, to express my worry.

I think I just added the right one! :) thank youuuu :)

I'm good and then have my days. You?

Oh no. I'm so sorry. I hate that. Are you better now?

@Anonymous2414 Meh its like if i just dont think about it yes but when i do i get sucked into the mental review/ruminating, i just hate how this disorder can like truly make u question reality , like how can i not know FOR SURE!!

@Anonymous I hear you and I'm so sorry. I sent a message on insta! I'm always here if you need to talk about it or anything. I know sometimes it can help but sometimes it can throw in some more loop holes haha.