I, like many others, don’t experience one type of intrusive thought, but am currently having suicidal OCD type thoughts. But these are the ones where I find it the hardest to work out if they’re actually my thoughts or just intrusive thoughts. They come if I’m reading an article about someone who’s committed suicide or if there’s a Tweet about it for e.g. and it’s like ‘that will be you one day’ or ‘I know I’m probably going to end up doing that.’ Sometimes I get worried about it and try to tell myself I won’t but then at other times, I just sort of accept it like, well if it’s going to happen it will. Can anyone relate? Thanks

I find that the intrusive thoughts that hurt me the most are the quiet ones. The ones that, at a glance, can be hard to differentiate from your own thoughts. The louder thoughts are easy to diffuse, to say "maybe, maybe not" to but the quiet ones leave me ruminating for hours trying to figure out if they're mine or OCD's. They leave me feeling disconnected from those around me and even from myself. I can go from happily thinking about marrying my boyfriend in the future to feeling like I have never actually loved him in a matter of minutes all because a thought was a whisper rather than a scream. This is my first post and I'm not sure what I'm looking for in making it. Advice? To know I'm not alone? I guess if there's anything you feel the need to share I'd love to hear it.

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

the thoughts that have been making me super anxious recently is every-time I’m around someone im happy with my mind is like “they will miss you” or “they will wonder why you did it when your always happy” it’s eating me i hate it. i’m tired of this theme, it’s been on and off for three years. but it makes me more anxious now the it does before. please share tips