I feel just genuinely depressed... living with POCD and False memory OCD about "unknowingly explicitly messaging minors" is the worst thing ive ever experienced in my life... i cant even ask for reassurance because no one will answer... im genuinely alone and i want to stop existing...
It does seem like OCD loves to play along with the worst case scenarios, so we try to accept the uncertainty of that but also we can acknowledge that tendency to jump the gun to worst case thinking. It's very common honestly, I think being aware of it is helpful at the very least and then seeing whether we can ignore the intrusive thought through acceptance of uncertainty. A professional can help guide through the difficulties and keep the treatment homework going
@A23 Have you seen my posts about it...? I've posted screenshots of it to give people the context...
@Givenup Oh sorry I don't think I have
@A23 Ill post it now...
@Givenup Are you able to work with a NOCD specialist or visit some local anxiety clinic perhaps?
@A23 Cant afford it...
@A23 Just posted the screenshots
@Givenup It's possible it was posted under a subtheme I don't have, because i don't see them atm. Btw have you ever visited Nathan Peterson's channel on YouTube? He has good advice on exposure response prevention therapy for OCD
@A23 Also Chrissie Hodges is amazing when you feel alone. She is one of the very few people who really talk about all these difficult experiences one might have with OCD that make one feel like an exception. Chances are, it’s not different for you, you’re just a person with OCD and hundreds of thousands if not millions of people have had the exact same struggles as you. Yes even THAT one! It helped me so much in my recovery to realise I am not special. I am neither a special angel who is white as snow, nor a terrible person who should be condemned forever. I am a human, and many of us have mental health issues, and most of us make many mistakes in life. Millions upon millions of people have similar values to yours, and lead very similar lives in public and in private. What do you think are the odds that at least say 10,000 people on this planet of 7 or 8 billion people are scared right about having unknowingly inappropriately texted a person who was underage, and who can’t figure it out because the other person was anonymous, or could have lied etc etc.? The odds are definitely not zero! Realising you are not special means realising you are not alone. It also helps you step back and realise you wouldn’t condemn other people the way you condemn yourself.
@A23 Posted it under the pocd subtheme
@Pudu OCD Idek if this actually happened or not... and im just deathly terrified, anxious, and just genuinely feeling so upset...
@A23 Just posted it again... hope you see it...
@Givenup I'm sorry but I still don't see it. Take it day by day and try the acceptance approach, there a lota of videos on this general idea including some on NOCD's YouTube channel
@Pudu OCD I never thought i was special... I always just hated myself because of this ocd... i have real events ocd combined with pocd and hocd and harm ocd based on horrible childhood mistakes (when i was 9-13)... i want to exit this reality...
@Givenup You will never know if it happened or not. Let’s assume it did…would you condemn a friend who told you they were texting an anonymous person online and then started doubting afterwards whether they were a minor or not? I think you wouldn’t. Therapy works by triggering yourself and moving on with your day despite the anxiety. You must try to let the thoughts simply pass. A basic trick I can give you that helped me get unstuck pre-therapy when I was anxiously spiralling out of control obsessing over things was to tell myself “Okay, I am super anxious, but this is time consuming and I actually don’t have to think about right now. This problem will still be there in a few hours ready for me to pick back up if I want to. I will [do the dishes/ call my friend/ finish this essay/ get ready for bed/ etc.] first, and think about it later.” And most of the time I wouldn’t actually think about it later. Best of luck!
@Pudu OCD I dont want to assume it did... 😭😭😭
@Givenup I have definitely been there, friend. Be strong and patient and take heart in the fact that it does get better! You must learn to let the thoughts come and go and to not let them affect your day. The approach to getting better is simple, although not easy (because of course with OCD we get super anxious and by definition obsessive). It really only takes repeatedly moving on with your day despite all your feelings and desire to obsess over things and to figure them out to get better. Eventually, as you do this more and more, you will obsess less and less and perhaps eventually not at all anymore. You can often see a change in a matter of weeks doing this. You have to push through the anxiety many times to eventually make it go away (or almost go away). With OCD you have to push open the door to freedom. No one can do it for you, but we can encourage you!
@Pudu OCD And once your anxiety and tendency to obsess are more under control, you can move on to acceptance work (you can check out the OCD Recovery channel on YouTube for information on this). No need to jump to the deep end straight away. Get a bit of peace back into your life first.
@Pudu OCD Everyday has been a worse day then the last... I dont know how im going to obtain any sort of peace when idek if my pocd /false memory ocd fear even happened or not, and everyday just ends up being horrible because of my ocd or some external factor...?
@Givenup Does your school provide any free counseling? Tackling OCD is one thing, but you can work other feelings as well to get the results you desire
@A23 Counseling genuinely went horribly... when at first i told my counselor about my condition he said i didnt have OCD because "i didnt have any physical compulsions." So i told him my entire story and he goes "its probably 80 percent OCD, but also could be 20 percent Anxiety."
@Givenup Maybe find a different counselor and try to work on the depression there?
@A23 Getting a psych evaluation in a few weeks...hopefully get myself prescribed
@Givenup I see, good luck! Also last set of things I'll recommend: self-help toons on YouTube is good, Dr. K healthygamergg can be good, I also recommend meditation, journaling, gratitude and exercise. I know that can be a lot but it's a decent list for many and each thing has its own benefits to it
Hi, I’ve had ocd since I was 12 but the hardest theme I’ve ever encountered was false memory ocd and POCD. I’m convinced I’ve molested children and people and it disgusts me to my very core. Is there anyone else going through this? I really need to talk to people who are going through the same thing as me and can share their story because I feel so along in this false memory cycle because it feels like a real memory and I feel like I’m tricking everyone around me into thinking it’s false. Please help
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
