Pocd

Im getting scared about this situation... For context. I was on an NSFW discord server. There was optional age verification but i would only message women who were verified. I messaged this girl whose DM's were open... we talked before she asked me my age first. I said I was 20 (which was true) to which she immediately responded that she was 18. We talked about why we were on the NSFW discord server and had playful banter. I then asked her when she was born because I wanted to make sure she was consistent with her age. She misunderstood the question at first and said she was born in Colombia. I then asked her for the date she was born on. At 5 AM when I was asleep, she said "13😭", before reaffirming her age as 18 approximately 8 minutes after... does this indicate if she was lying about her age...?

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1708746726/community_ios_image._y6f2mb.jpg

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1708746727/community_ios_image._tgpa3f.jpg

3rdeyenotblind

Date posted: 1y

You gotta stop posting this over and over it’s not helping anything.

Angel20

Date posted: 1y

Nobody can answer that question except her. As lots of other people have already said on here, IF she lied to you that’s not your fault. You’re looking for reassurance and that’s understandable, but you won’t get it by repeatedly asking on here or anywhere because no one knows the answer and your ocd won’t accept any reassurance anyway because that’s the nature of ocd. Try to let this go now and move on. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Cinnamoroll

Date posted: 1y

I am in agreement with the others. @Givenup, you need to take a pause and recognize what you are doing to yourself right now, by posting on this multiple times everyday, daily, for weeks now. You are propagating your OCD to the point that it cannot be combatted WITHOUT reassurance. You have been trapped in a perpetual cycle of obsession and compulsion for days, and it has done nothing but harm you. We genuinely want the best for you, all of us who have taken our time to read and respond to your struggles—we are all fighting this ugly disease together!! But you have to cooperate with us, it’s difficult to help you when you do not take any of our advice and continue to repost until someone reassures you. Sometimes, that reassurance can dangerously triggering! And posting asking for more only increases your risk of receiving triggering responses. NOT because you ARE or ARE NOT your fears, no, because some people do not understand the harm in giving reassurance and answer according to their perspective/best judgement, which in turn either triggers you OR gives you temporary relief. Please please please take a break from posting on this forum. Seek therapy, if you can. This app is currently not helping you, rather, it’s granted your OCD an avenue to grow and expand out of your control. Please, take care. ❤️

Cinnamoroll

Date posted: 1y

@Cinnamoroll Let me add a correction for clarity: It’s not that your OCD cannot be fought without reassurance, no, it’s that it is combatted BY AVOIDING reassurance. You CAN survive without reassurance, that’s in fact the goal! But the intense cycle of reassurance seeking on this app has you thinking otherwise, it’s convinced you that you NEED reassurance every other hour to get rid of the anxiety. No. Reassurance is harmful, my dear!! You do not need reassurance!!!! It is only temporary relief!!! Please, do not post asking for reassurance!

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

POCD

I am really worried that I may have SA'ed my little sister. When we were very young, and I mean, really, really young, I was 5 I think. I used to kiss my sister, because I was curious and my mom caught us and she told me not to do it again and I didn't. But when I was about 11 she felt on my lap and I liked the sensation so I tried to rub myself against her. I tried to take my life because of this, I did therapy and everyone, including my sister, told me that I was just a child, and my sister admitted to having done similar things and she said "Would you blame me?" and I said no because she was a child and barely understood what was happening. My therapist said that I mimicked adult behaviors when I kissed her but she was so young, like barely 4 years old and I feel sick to my stomach and I just want to die.

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 17w

Real Event OCD is a different breed (18+)

Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.

dee012

Date posted: 16w

False memory ocd Help Please

Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty

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