I’ve got hocd and I need help I don’t know who I am anymore I keep getting intrusive thoughts and they are not going away I don’t think I handle this anymore. I want to stay straight I don’t want to be gay . Any advice. My thoughts are confusing me I’m getting thoughts about boys and girls and I like boys but why am I getting thoughts about boys isn’t it supposed to be the opposite . I’m confused I don’t like girls
ERP therapy. But don’t face too many triggers at once that can be overwhelming.. try to notice your compulsions. I’m currently dealing with something similar. I don’t have thoughts about boys or being in a relationship With them but all of a sudden I’m asking myself is that what I want? Has my whole life been a lie? I can still see my life with a woman and it’s bliss but when I think about a relationship with a man it makes me ashamed sick and feel like I’m not myself just dirty. I’m also lonely and have only female friends at the moment. Most the men in my life are now dead or in prison. I do crave male interaction basket ball video games just bullshitting with the fellas. But it feels gay to try and make male friends it sounds stupid cause it is but it’s what I’m dealing with. My porn addiction also has caused me to over sexualize everything as well
@Anonymous how long have u been suffering for
@haydensmith Hocd since September and ocd since Covid 2019
Can relate a lot to this, whenever I make new friends at uni, or on trips, and the friends are dudes, my brain is telling me that I am attracted to them, and I'm gay and all those intrusive thoughts. It confuses the feelings of friendship with that of affection? Also suffer from over sexualizing everything. Literally every person I see I will check if I am attracted to them, it's brutal. I can't get out of my head. Has ERP been helping? Are you talking to a therapist from NOCD?
@GgJuan No I hadn’t gottten therapy yet
@GgJuan Yes I’m talking to a therapist from nocd I start weds..I’ve been doing ERP therapy on my own. With the best understanding of it that I have. Sometimes I think i overwhelm myself but telling myself I need to keep pushing so sometimes I’ll take on multiple triggers at once and that will cause an anxiety attack and it’ll start becoming really convincing that I’m full on gay… and when I say I love women both emotionally and sexually their smell their touch just female friends alone their hugs feel different and I much rather hug them. But this all leaves my mind completely in those moment. And when I start to remember my love for women I start to question did I ever really have that attraction.. that’s when it becomes really hard to not reassure and start checking.
@Anonymous Ohhh
i’m not too sure what to suggest, i suffer from HOCD too, are you on any medication or have any therapy?
@haydensmith What are ur thoughts my thoughts are confusing I know I like boys but I’m getting confused because I’m getting thoughts about girls and boys I just want to stay straight
@Anonymous my brain won’t stop telling me i’m gay it’s very repetitive and annoying, making me constantly anxious and a shit ton of depression, can’t wait for this to be over to be honest
Yhh fluoxetine
@Anonymous does the medication not help at all?
@haydensmith They said have it for 6 weeks and I still feel the same I’ve gotten a bit better than before but it hasn’t been 6 weeks yet and for ocd it takes longer too approx 3 months
@Anonymous what are they actually suppose to do
@haydensmith They are supposed to stop the intrusive thoughts for depression ocd
@Anonymous do you think they will help, sorry i’m just tempted to start taking medication.
Ohhh I know that I want a husband but I’m getting thoughts about both genders and it happened on Saturday but the thoughts stopped about boys I’ve never had thoughts about boys maybe because I like boys my brain is confusing me with both genders
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
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