Maladaptive Daydreaming and OCD

I struggle so, so much with maladaptive daydreaming, have since I was little, and it's taken over my life. I want it to stop, but it's so hard when my thoughts keep REPEATING. I've heard from others that I'll need to break my own heart, tell myself that nothing I'm thinking is real, and to face up to reality. I know daydreaming is a distracting and reality-voiding coping mechanism, and it's not healthy or helpful when overindulged. And I identify thoughts in which I imagine certain scenarios going perfectly. But it's really difficult because a lot of my daydreaming thoughts are about creative stuff. And not made up characters that I spend time with myself, but characters who I draw and write about just like any illustrator. I've talked to a therapist about the difference between nurturing my creativity and daydreaming in a harmful way, and her advice was useful: "It's wonderful to use your imagination and be creative. Stop when your thoughts start to involve real-life people." I'm still having difficulty understanding how harmful my fictional stories/daydreams are, since I still use them to distract myself. Does anyone else struggle with maladaptive daydreaming?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 43w ago

✋✋ I struggle with this constantly. I just started my therapy journey and have not brought it up yet because I honestly didn’t even realize it was OCD. I agree it is hard to see the harm since these daydreams can be so comforting, creative and exciting. I would assume it’s because with daydreams we fill holes (unknowns about people, experiences, life, work, etc.) with our own assumptions, or whatever we want the answer to be, and paint it in these dreams as truth… when really there could be no truth to it. Then maybe we subconsciously take expectation from the daydreams into our lives or relationships and then are left with disappointment. I will dig deeper into it in my next session. I’d never want to lose my complex ability to daydream entirely. As a kid my schedule was so hectic that I used to designate quite time for myself to be alone and not just to think but to intentionally daydream. It was so peaceful and meditative. That may be something I try now as an adult so when the daydreams come during other points of the day I can set them aside for that time. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to turn off the real-life people thing though. That will be quite a challenge! Thank you so much for sharing!

Username: bunniesncheesecakebunniesnchee...

Date posted: 43w ago

Wow!! Thank you so much for responding! You are so thoughtful. I love what you said about how our exciting daydreams can raise our expectations for reality and then leave us feeling disappointed. I've definitely experienced that. I'm so sorry you have had to struggle with the daydreaming too. And that sounds so nice that you took time as a kid to be meditative. And I really hope that you can find the help you're looking for in therapy!!

Username: girlanongirlanon

Date posted: 43w ago

The break your own heart thing really got to me. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer too, and the day I talked about it with my therapist, I couldn't sleep I cried so hard I felt so empty. I've been heartbroken over breakups before so I know how it feels, and it was honestly just as bad. It's so rough, but you're not alone ❤️

Username: bunniesncheesecakebunniesnchee...

Date posted: 43w ago

UUUUGGGHHH the thought of going through that again D'X I don't know if I could do that. I'm so sorry you have had to go through that too. Thanks so much for sharing. It really is a REAL heartbreak. Thank you for the support too!!!

Username: girlanongirlanon

Date posted: 43w ago

@bunniesncheesecake I haven't been able to commit to it as a result. My daydreaming hasn't budged. I haven't even tried. It feels too hard, even though I know it's ruining my life, I can't find it in me to want to stop. I don't want to let go

Username: bunniesncheesecakebunniesnchee...

Date posted: 43w ago

@girlanon - I am so, so sorry you have felt stuck. I really worry about letting go, too. Honestly rn I'm trying to figure out which parts of it are imaginative/creative and normal, and which parts are unhealthy and reality-avoiding. It's such a gray area to me!!! But man, I don't blame you at all. Sometimes every daydream you have is like a precious baby. You could never give it away. It's like a living, breathing, tangible thing that can change your life. And you want to hold and nurture it.

Username: girlanongirlanon

Date posted: 43w ago

@bunniesncheesecake It all feels so real. What's difficult is for me I usually daydream about relationships, both romantic and platonic but recently mostly romantic, because I'm autistic and have always had few friends. And dating irl makes me so uncomfortable and scared, but I desperately want to love and be loved. So I end up forming unhealthy parasocial relationships in my head and if I gave them up I'd feel so alone and genuinely heartbroken

Username: Rachel52

Date posted: 5y ago

I love to day dream, about different scenarios, different people! Just fun stuff. It’s calming, but then ... I’ll turn it into, if I’m day dreaming all the time I’m not fully living my life... and maybe I do this because I’m not really happy with my real life... and I should feel bad because I’m never fully present... which makes me a terrible person - AND THEN WHAT IF- Anyone else have this issue? How do you relax, because it’s exhausting?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Really thought about whether or not to post this but I’m really struggling and wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing/what helped them out of it. I have fears of psychosis/schiz/delusions and I started having intrusive thoughts that sound and feel delusional even though I know they’re not true, and I don’t actually believe them. I obsess over whether I think they’re true and if I’m actually delusional, then I start to feel really disconnected and dreamy (like derealization?) but then I get worried that I’m actually dissociating and/or losing my mind. I rly struggle w these thoughts as they make me so uncomfortable and make me feel like I am delusional. I will reread things I wrote, rethink things I have already said to make sure they’re coherent, argue w my thoughts, constantly check to make sure I know who I am, where I am, know who my family is, etc. to ensure I’m not losing my mind. My themes switch from this, to harm ocd and I’m just really having a hard time w the thoughts mixed w the disconnected feeling. It makes me want to stay in bed forever and cry because I don’t wanna feel this way anymore. Any advice would be so helpful.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Mang0c@tto

Date posted: 43w ago

Help! Need advice :(

I don't know what to do or how to stop this : ( if anyone has advice please, please let me know! It's happening to me that whenever I watch/read TV at night, get into an argument with a loved one, or haven't talked to them for a while I start to have intrusive thoughts/images that they're gonna get fatally hurt. For example, about seven months ago I had a car accident. I don't think I was left necessarily traumatized, but rather every time I have (the previously mentioned) intrusive thoughts I begin to reimagine my loved ones in that same (or similar) situations... and no matter how much I try to NOT acknowledge them...they often lead me to having anxiety or panic attacks. The only way that I seem to be able to stop these intrusive thoughts is by sleeping it off… but then that leaves to lack of productivity throughout the day and affects my life… I try my best to not give in into compulsions…especially because I also have dermatillomania so I KNOW that if I DO give in…it’ll end up bad. I’ve tried writing things down to see if it helps to calm me down. Although that did work for a while, I’ve started to feel/think that if I write my thoughts down they’ll increase possibility of actually happening :( so I’ve stopped doing that for a while now. I don’t know what to do anymore!

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Maladaptive Daydreaming and OCD

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