- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how it feels but putting so much blame on yourself will only make things worse. Relationships are never perfect. Whoever tells you that they don’t get mad or say things out of spite for their boyfriends or girlfriends is a liar. Forgiving and moving on and not making the same mistakes is important and makes the relationship stronger and better. Just practice working on those things. But most importantly forgive yourself.
- Date posted
- 6y
It won’t feel the same for a little while, but that’s normal. You just said something hurtful which hurt both parties. It’s normal for people to feel that or go through that but with time it heals. The more and more you keep your mind on things you will just make things worse for yourself and fall into a hole of overthinking and regret. Forgive yourself. Tell yourself that you forgive yourself and that it was a mistake. People get thoughts and say things and they don’t even know where that came from but that’s what being human is all about. There’s nothing that can solve that. It’s just being a human. The only thing you can control is how you take the next step.
- Date posted
- 6y
My advice to you is to stay away from posts like that which can trigger potential thoughts, actions or worries. I don’t read posts about, “who’s a good boyfriend, is my boyfriend abusive, does my boyfriend really love me” because when I read those posts I start to overthink and it clouds my judgement severely. I’ll be honest and open with you. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I can’t trust him fully when sleeping next to him. My fear is that he will (trigger warning) sexually assault me. I had something happen to me when I was a child, and it prevents me from being vulnerable with my boyfriend. I try to sleep next to him and a few minutes later I’ll get thoughts about “what if he touched me and I could not feel it” it still scares me but I still carry on. It hurt my boyfriend, but we’re still together so I hope you feel better knowing your not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
But that’s just a feeling you have. It isn’t reality. Next time or in the time being just don’t react in that way. You know? But you feel bad so that shows you’re not a terrible human. You’re just a human being with normal emotions. We all make mistakes but the most important thing is that you actually feel bad and want to work on yourself to better yourself. You’ll be okay don’t worry so much. Your boyfriend apologized so you can show him in a meaningful way your appreciation of him. Totally your choice
- Date posted
- 6y
I really didn’t mean it and thinking back I don’t know why I even said it. But we had a perfect day yesterday until that argument and it literally ruined that whole day and it doesn’t feel the same thinking back to it and it’s all my fault
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you you’re very kind. But what I said was really bad. It was something along the lines of “you’re only nice to me in person so you can use me for sex and that’s rape” and I regretted it immediately and felt so bad and he obviously reacted badly too because why wouldn’t he. He’s a lovely person and nothing of the sort like what I said but I felt angry and felt like I wasn’t being listened too. I also read on Instagram that day before I said that something about guys leading girls on for sex a lot and that should be classed as rape and obviously I didn’t think anything of it then because my boyfriend has been with me three years and is a gentleman. But maybe I said it out of spite and stuff cos that’s what I read and I just felt like I wasn’t being listened to or treated very nicely at that time. I know I’m just making excuses now and I’m a terrible person for saying that and hurting him and I don’t know if I’ll ever get past this and feel the same and I don’t know if he will either (even though he said to forget about it)
- Date posted
- 6y
No i don’t have intrusive thoughts about it. I just said it out of spite to make him feel bad because I was angry at something completely different which I know is fully wrong and isn’t like me. And I feel guilty for saying that and hurting him that badly and I feel like I’ll never be happy again or get over this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for listening to me :( so I should just move on as normal and not beat myself up about it?
- Date posted
- 6y
Still feel bad
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m ruining my relationship, and idk if it’s OCD or if I’m just an awful person. I’m tired of constantly fighting with my boyfriend. but I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t stop picking apart everything they say, I can’t stop being so negative, I can’t stop overthinking and obsessing, I can’t stop feeling like they’re lying or being inconsistent. I constantly ask too many questions to the point where I feel he thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to feel stupid myself. It seems like I can’t understand basic conversations with my boyfriend anymore unless they’re super black and white. He deserves better. I don’t deserve love. I feel like I’m destroying the one thing that makes me happy. I don’t feel happy with him anymore because we’re constantly fighting. And it’s all my fault. I think I’m just an awful, crazy person
- Date posted
- 15w
I desperately need advice. I had a huge argument with my boyfriend yesterday. The relationship was close to ending because I did something that hurt him deeply and crossed a line. I was on someone's profile even though I said I'd never do it again. I just didn't think anything of it. That's not directly relevant. Anyway, new things keep coming to mind, that it didn't just happen once, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's compulsive, whether I should confess or not, whether I should say it because otherwise I'm being dishonest. I've been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've often had moral issues too. Does that sound like OCD? The fact that I was on the profile had no meaning for me and I don't know to what extent my obsessive compulsive disorder plays a role in it.
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