Compulsions

I hate how compulsions can just lead to more obessions. I have fears that I ended up on dark web sites and a video popped up on my feed about illegal websites. At first I didn't want to watch it but I hoped it would reduce my anxiety if I watched it and didn't remember being on any of the listed sites. The creator ended up listing dark web search engines, and thats where i stopped the video. While sort of relieving because I didn't recognize any of the things he listed, now I have a fear that since I know how to get to the dark web I want to and look for terrible things. I should have listened to myself and moved on from the video.

Username: WalterWhackstickWalterWhacks...

Date posted: 42w ago

Hi, thank you for sharing that. Sounds like you wanted to expose yourself to something that unsettles you. Congrats to that! I know these kind of thougths from my own experience with OCD. Kudos to you for facing those head on. What helped me when I exposed myself to unsettling things was to create room for that. Meaning, that I entered that situation, stayed in that situation and rated my unsettling on a scale from 1-10 until I saw it decreasing again. After that, I slowly exited that situation again, often feeling very good. That worked for me but expose yourself just the way you need/want to! Just be kind and forgiving to yourself, I think that is always the most important thing. Greetings from Germany

Username: ZeldaKorr32ZeldaKorr32

Date posted: 42w ago

hey, i totally get how one compulsion can spiral into more obsessions. it's a tough cycle to break, but you're not alone in this. 🌀 i'm actually dealing with a different ocd theme myself, so i might not have all the answers specific to your situation. but, i've found a couple of apps that have really helped me manage better, so maybe they could do the same for you. one app that's been a game-changer for me is "unstuck ocd therapy tools". my local ocd support group recommended it. it's pretty neat because it gives you ai-personalized guidance and exercises right when you need them. it feels like it's tailored just for what you're going through in the moment. then, there's the "gg ocd" app. it's different because it focuses on teaching you about cbt through bite-sized learning modules. it's not as personalized and isn't designed for in-the-moment support, but it's great if you're looking to understand the basics of cbt for ocd. might be worth checking out. 📱 hope this helps a bit!

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I used to have Harm OCD but ever since I watched that Black Mirror episode called “Shut Up and Dance” my obsession has been on POCD. For a long time I was petrified of typing “child porn” into google so I did a lot of avoiding. But then I started trying to get reassurance that nothing bad would pop up if you googled it anyway. I got so fed up with the thought that I ended up typing it in myself. I felt disgusted and guilty, and was naive enough to think I would at least no longer have to worry about typing that anymore. But then all these what ifs pooped up like “you didn’t check Bing, Twitter, Yahoo, etc”. So I ended up checking again to ensure myself that nothing would pop up. Then it got worse where I typed in some really disgusting things into google again because I just couldn’t handle the anxiety and uncertainty. I felt stupid every time and powerless. I managed to go about a week without checking but today an intrusive memory came back about a youtube link that had a questionable title in it when I google searched. So ended up going back and checked the video only to of course see that it was nothing horrible. I feel scared and paranoid. Like I have no control of myself. I hate this compulsion and I can’t love myself for doing all this. I’ve suffered from groinal responses and other sexual intrusive thoughts involving this theme but I just want someone to tell me I’m being paranoid. My mind won’t shut up about all this. It just wants me to keep checking and checking to make sure google is safe. How can I possibly love myself after all this? I don’t want this but the anxiety is unbearable and I can barely breathe. I didn’t think it would ever get this bad and it feels like even when I resist OCD wins anyway... or at least I hope it’s OCD.

POCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I’ve become terrified of the internet and technology. My biggest obsession right now is that there’s sexual videos of me on porn sites or on the internet. All it takes is one bad guy to record me secretly and put me on there. I’ve never been blackmailed or anything and it can happen to anyone but I get an urge to check because the feeling is so strong that I’m on there. I will check key words on porn hub and I’ll be relieved for a second when I don’t find anything but then I think of other things to search and then I doubt if I saw correctly. I say “what if that was me and I just overlooked it?” And my initial obsession gets worse. I have the urge to check again and when I don’t I have it repeating in my mind that there’s a video out there of me.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Rhys34

Date posted: 2y ago

Has anyone ever had a compulsion in the middle of erp? As I’ve said before adult sites are a form of erp for my taboo sexual ocd. Tonight while doing erp I got an intrusive thought and followed through with a compulsion before I even realized it. The site had opened side sites, like those clickbait add things, but it was for adult stuff. The people it showed definitely didn’t look old enough to be doing anything of the sort. It can be so hard to tell these days but I’m really freaking out because what if they were underage? Or am I just letting my ocd control my thoughts?

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Compulsions

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