help😭

Please help I am having the worst spiral I have had in 5 years. I am doing so bad to the point I could not even sleep. I’m so scared, anxious and confused. I did ocd therapy for a long time and my therapist told me I was doing so well I needed to stop. Which I was until about 2-3 weeks ago it started back super bad. And now as of yesterday the intrusive thoughts feel more definitive. They are making me spiral, it literally feels like my brain is jumping from side to side. I love my boyfriend more than I knew was humanly possible. I haven’t lost my attraction to him, not that I know of… I don’t want to break up with him bc i love him, I think he’s hot, I want to marry him but I’m terrified that I am just lying and that the feelings never were true! I don’t know how to make it stop. I tried all night not to research and I had to give in. 😭 this is hell

i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time

I’ve recently been having the spiraling intrusive thoughts coming up out of seemingly nowhere. Well not exactly nowhere, having some relationship issues but the thoughts will just randomly show up when I’m clam home reading a book.