my harm ocd is saying that i have to carry out my harm thoughts and that i have to do it. but i don’t want to? i don’t know how to sit with this it makes me believe that i’m genuinely an evil person :(
What works for me is saying to myself "maybe I do want to do that" and laugh it off". They used to be extremely violent thoughts when I was younger so I feel for you. It's tough
I am not a therapist so take my suggestion with a grain of salt or whatever you wish. But I suggest you reply to your OCD something like "okay... and?" Now this will bother the OCD but that is the point. OCD treatment is like bothering the OCD until the brain realizes it's full of crap, lol. You know your values, OCD attacks your values. Therapy can help reestablish and clarify your values. But in the mean time, don't let OCD win by giving into to its attack. Hope this helps!
As someone with Harm OCD as well I can relate to this feeling where your OCD is saying "if you want me to go away then do it" I've had harm OCD from the age of 17 I'm 24 now and its been towards my mom my brother my neices and nephews my pets it's horrible and makes me feel so much disgust and untrusting of myself but knowing it scares me shows me a lot more than just the fact it goes against my core values it tells me I have a genuinely good heart otherwise I wouldn't panic so much I will say GABA has helped quite a bit with the anxiety part of it you can get it on Amazon I recommend the 750mg ones they work pretty fast and have made a noticable difference in the severity of the OCD anxiety cycle
So sorry 😢 but your very courageous it definitely takes a lot out of you , I’ve been dealing for years not knowing I was actually dealing with OCD but I didn’t know it was harm. My prayers to you and everyone who is dealing with it.
Maybe label those harm thoughts to give you more distance. “Well there’s an intrusive thought”. Also the discomfort you feel when allowing the thought to come and go is part of the healing process. OCD has trained your brain to think of these thoughts as something important. They are intrusive thoughts everyone gets. By seeing them as that and letting the anxiety pass your are retraining your brain to respond properly. This is not easy but you are in the driver seat not your intrusive thoughts that latch on to what you care about.
.. In addition to that, don't sit there. Find something to do following that. It's srd to get out of your head if your brain has nothing else to focus on
Hard*
I was there . It does get better. What helped me was , speaking against them. I never liked them. It’s not easy how long have you had OCD harm ?
@Choosengrace_ i had little times where the thoughts got sticky but i was able to let it go. but it didn’t get this bad until a week ago.
@Choosengrace_ also if you don’t mind me asking what did your harm ocd look like? and what do you mean by speaking against them, i’m curious!
@stargirlll I wish we had a private message . ♥️ mine looked like harm towards someone I love 💕 things I like to enjoy 😉 🌿✨ it was awful . There’s urges that I couldn’t take. I would cry out to God about it . He comforted me ✨🌿♥️
I have all kinds of thoughts that aren’t me it feels like someone is talking to me telling me evil things about people or to do evil things 😞😞😞😞 I can’t do this anymore
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
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