my harm ocd is saying that i have to carry out my harm thoughts and that i have to do it. but i don’t want to? i don’t know how to sit with this it makes me believe that i’m genuinely an evil person :(
What works for me is saying to myself "maybe I do want to do that" and laugh it off". They used to be extremely violent thoughts when I was younger so I feel for you. It's tough
I am not a therapist so take my suggestion with a grain of salt or whatever you wish. But I suggest you reply to your OCD something like "okay... and?" Now this will bother the OCD but that is the point. OCD treatment is like bothering the OCD until the brain realizes it's full of crap, lol. You know your values, OCD attacks your values. Therapy can help reestablish and clarify your values. But in the mean time, don't let OCD win by giving into to its attack. Hope this helps!
As someone with Harm OCD as well I can relate to this feeling where your OCD is saying "if you want me to go away then do it" I've had harm OCD from the age of 17 I'm 24 now and its been towards my mom my brother my neices and nephews my pets it's horrible and makes me feel so much disgust and untrusting of myself but knowing it scares me shows me a lot more than just the fact it goes against my core values it tells me I have a genuinely good heart otherwise I wouldn't panic so much I will say GABA has helped quite a bit with the anxiety part of it you can get it on Amazon I recommend the 750mg ones they work pretty fast and have made a noticable difference in the severity of the OCD anxiety cycle
So sorry 😢 but your very courageous it definitely takes a lot out of you , I’ve been dealing for years not knowing I was actually dealing with OCD but I didn’t know it was harm. My prayers to you and everyone who is dealing with it.
Maybe label those harm thoughts to give you more distance. “Well there’s an intrusive thought”. Also the discomfort you feel when allowing the thought to come and go is part of the healing process. OCD has trained your brain to think of these thoughts as something important. They are intrusive thoughts everyone gets. By seeing them as that and letting the anxiety pass your are retraining your brain to respond properly. This is not easy but you are in the driver seat not your intrusive thoughts that latch on to what you care about.
.. In addition to that, don't sit there. Find something to do following that. It's srd to get out of your head if your brain has nothing else to focus on
Hard*
I was there . It does get better. What helped me was , speaking against them. I never liked them. It’s not easy how long have you had OCD harm ?
@Choosengrace_ i had little times where the thoughts got sticky but i was able to let it go. but it didn’t get this bad until a week ago.
@Choosengrace_ also if you don’t mind me asking what did your harm ocd look like? and what do you mean by speaking against them, i’m curious!
@stargirlll I wish we had a private message . ♥️ mine looked like harm towards someone I love 💕 things I like to enjoy 😉 🌿✨ it was awful . There’s urges that I couldn’t take. I would cry out to God about it . He comforted me ✨🌿♥️
Does your harm ocd thoughts ever tell you you want to do the things your worried about? I always worry I’m gonna become a serial killer or just go crazy and kill people. Everytime I worry about this I go no no I don’t want to do that I’d never do that but my thoughts tell me “I do wanna do that I’m an evil person” and “I wanna kill people” these leads me to even more anxiety and I literally burst into tears everytime it’s horrible
Does anyone especially with harm ocd feel like they are their thoughts and want to do these things? Like no matter how hard I try and even during my therapy session I get the constant, “what if this isn’t OCD?”, “you like these thoughts”, “your a bad person”, “your going to act on these thoughts.” It gotten to the point where it feels like I’m actually this person and that I have changed into an evil person and it’s so scary cause it’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m never going to get my life back and that’s saddening. I’ve never had a violent history never hurt anyone or anything but I don’t know why it feels like I am.
My Harm OCD is out of control. I’m trying so hard to keep living my life, but it’s scaring me even more. It’s starting to feel more real. It’s feeling like I’m right on the edge of acting on my thoughts and that I actually want to do it. It feels like this is never going to go away and I’m now this person who is going to harm someone. I’m at work because I’m supposed to keep living my life and not do compulsions. But not doing them is terrifying me. I feel like a complete monster and I don’t know what to do.
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