Wanting to date someone with OCD!

I would hope so. I really struggle with feeling like I'm worth dating. Between my OCD, my gender and my asexuality (wanting a relationship just without sex) I feel like I'm just shit out of luck bc nobody is gonna be cool with all three 😭 especially my asexuality. And I'm sure that's just because I don't understand why sex is so important to people in relationships, I feel like I'm missing something or like I'm broken, idk. But yeah. Relationship OCD doesn't help that mindset at all.

@Northern_Downpour Please don't feel like you're worth any less because of asexuality because that's not true at all. There are a LOT of people in this world. I'm positive that there are others that identify as asexual and even genderfluid. I'm also positive they there are people that just don't care about sex in relationships. They just don't want it or crave it, and that's completely okay. More than okay. I have a friend who is asexual and I have met them through this very app! The way I see it, sex is important to people in relationships because that's where the natural connection comes from with most people's minds. However, there are other people like yourself that do not desire sex but rather long lasting bonding in company, compassion, and physical contact. Love can be expressed in so many different ways. The same way not all adults make the decision to be parents and live fulfilling lives and others that simply don't desire relationships. You aren't flawed in any way because of how you identify yourself with sex and relationships. You're not broken because of that at all. We're all unique, different individuals that have different wants and needs in life. You deserve love just like you've told me that I deserve love. You sincerely do. The personality that you have, your interests, and favorite things to do are sure to win somebody over! I'll be honest, relationships are still difficult for me because I just don't have the experience with them like others do. And that's okay. It just hasn't happened yet while other things have happened unique to me and no one else. That's completely fine. We just have to remind ourselves of that and not get so caught up with intrusive thoughts of that nature. I know it's really tough with relationship OCD floating around, but those are also lies and they are just thoughts. I really hope this helps. You are worthy of dating and being loved just as much as anyone else, regardless of sexuality.

@BigGyro09 I want to believe it, but the sad reality is that very few people want to date someone who doesn't want to have sex... I've never been in a relationship, well, I've been in one but it only lasted a couple weeks before he said I should feel lucky to have him because not many people would date an asexual. We split, but I mean I can't really deny that he's right. Even people who say they're okay with it won't be years down the line. The chances of me finding someone who's okay with my asexuality AND is compatible with me ... ugh. 🥹 I might have to accept im not gonna be loved in this lifetime.

@Northern_Downpour I'm so sorry you had to deal with such an awful statement that I think can't from someone that doesn't understand the weight his words had. That's truly disgusting to say. I still don't believe that he's right and that there aren't people who would be okay with it. It sort of sounds like that experience really hurt you and it out a weight on your shoulders you didn't ask for. I'm really sorry about that. I still think that you can be loved because there's a lot of people in this world as I said before who think differently and not at all like that man did in the past.

@BigGyro09 Yeah. He was a douche. He also said most people who'd date an asexual would probably cheat in the future anyways. My self esteem is already wrecked and I have abandonment issues so that didn't help at all. I've had a hard time convincing myself otherwise since then. I'm trying to keep positive but it feels like all odds are against me.

@Northern_Downpour What a scumbag. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a rancid person that straight up spoke ill of you like that. I'm glad you didn't stick around and you separated yourself from that bad news. Don't be hard on yourself. I just want you to remember the very same thing you told me. You deserve the love that you desire in your life. We all do. It's very unhelpful when people that don't understand get judgemental of things this sensitive, but we have to practice not taking those words as closely the words we take from the people we deeply cared about. That's something I had to remember for myself esteem, I think it can help you too! I'm sorry things are tough for relationships.

Tbh that makes a lot of sense. My last partner was sooo laid back that whenever I came to him with an OCD obsession he was so nonchalant about even my biggest obsessions that it almost cancelled out my obsessive thoughts out of shock lol 😭 still ... yeah. Idk.

@Northern_Downpour I’m so sorry to hear that. People can be really dumb without realising how hurtful they’re being. There are definitely people out there who, while perhaps not able to understand exactly what’s going on for you, will want to learn what they can to support you and be there for you. I’m single, have been for years, and often wonder how someone would deal with my stuff. But every person has their intricacies, and I know the right person will support me as I continue to navigate mine, just as I would support them. There is definitely someone out there for us! 🧡