I can’t seem to get a break, every day it’s something new the dumbest things ever but they feel so big to me. I’m so tired of doing this I can’t do it any longer I just cried because how much I hate my. I’m tired of living at the sink having major anxiety for almost no reason and if I try to fight it I just get more anxiety like well I touched my phone now I gotta wash my phone, it’s on my sheets, my clothes. I take super long showers i guess what I’m here for is help how can I help this what can I do to ease the anxiety like idk when I should or shouldn’t wash my hands anymore like my dog peed in the bathroom and got it on her paws then splash and got it in my mouth my clothes she walked around the house with paws full of pee I’m tired of cleaning everything and myself all the time can someone give me some advice

For me, nearly everything is a repetitive struggle. Flipping light switches, closing doors, pouring milk in my cereal bowl or in a glass to drink, putting on a pair of pants or socks, walking on/past sewer manholes and drains on the street, walking past garbage cans, walking past or near something that is or looks like animal feces (such as bird poop or dog poop etc.) and of course, handwashing. Even typing on this phone right now is a struggle, if at any given moment I "feel" a particular sensation like a wet spot on my lip or a nerve in my foot while I'm typing, I have to back space and retype what I was going to type the first time in hopes that maybe this time I won't "feel" that sensation again otherwise the cycle will repeat itself until finally I do not "feel" a sensation at all and am satisfied enough to continue typing. These are just some of the many examples I suffer from. Ive decided to come on here and share my story with others out of pure desperation in hopes of finding someone who will give me the ASSURANCE I need to escape from this "monster" this "bully" living in my head by providing me with a logical explanation with the support of facts and scientific evidence as to why these repetitive "rituals" and cycles are unnecessary and why the beliefs Ive invented in my mind are in fact false and unrealistic. One of my most extremely irrational beliefs I've invented for example is dripping water from my hands onto a surface where germs are present; by dripping water from my freshly washed hands onto a dirty floor my mind has trained itself to believe the germs from the floor have somehow bounced back up onto my hands, causing me to then have to wash my hands again for relief of anxiety. Same goes with pouring milk in cereal or in a glass; if the milk were to splash on the floor out of my glass or bowl I then feel like the germs have bounced back up into my bowl or glass. Same goes for spitting; whenever I spit on the ground it cannot be on a manhole cover otherwise Ive convinced myself I have sewage in my mouth, I then have to spit again and again and again until finally I have found a surface I believe is "clean" enough to spit on. Same with urinating; It has gotten so bad that I will not urinate in a toilet in fear that the toilet water will splash back up on my penis, instead I would rather go outside and urinate, but even if I do that, say if I were to accidentally urinate on a surface with bird feces, I will then feel like I have bird feces on my penis. I just want to be able to pee in a toilet again like a normal person. This is all so embarassing but I TRULY NEED help. Please someonere, help me get my life back. I just want to be normal again.

i have really bad contamination ocd and i can honestly get through my days without panic attacks but it always requires that i have hand sanitizer, wet wipes and access to wash my hands and be able to shower afterwards. i’m feeling like there’s no hope because i can get through the days okay and i try not to let other people know about it because i deal with it all privately but i’m afraid i’ll never be able to stop with all of the cleaning throughout the day. does anyone have tips to stop cleaning their hands or anywhere that may have gotten “dirty” or anything like that? thank you (:

Hi I'm new to this app and just wanted to communicate with someone struggling with simular things. My ocd has me feeling so stuck right now, like I just don't know what to do. It's caused me to stay home from school and quit my job due to panic attacks. I should probably specify I have contamination ocd and some other one idk what to call. Closest thing would probably be perfection ocd. A couple days ago I had a really bad panic attack once I got home from work where I cried and sat on the stairs for about 2 hours. I only got up when my mom forced me to, because everytime I tried I just felt like I couldn't move. It was mainly triggered by my job as I find it "dirty" and cant handle it anymore- I quit mt job that night. Then is also when I finally told my mom how I've been feeling because of it and now she's constantly worrying that I haven't hurt myself as I finally told her "I just want it to stop." I don't think I actually would but I can't help but to think what would happen and how I could go about it. I have a therapist I see monthly, but I find it really hard to tell her how bad it's effecting me because it's hard to talk about and Idk what kind of power she has but I don't want her to send me to the ward. Idk if that's even a thing anymore but I'm scared of it. I constantly feel like I have to clean everything and I just dont have the energy to do it. All I want to do is lay in bed. But these "dirty" things full my mind untill they're "clean" again. Not to mention the things I literally can't clean because of their material 🥲 I apologize for the awful organization, these are just my thoughts right now.