I can’t seem to get a break, every day it’s something new the dumbest things ever but they feel so big to me. I’m so tired of doing this I can’t do it any longer I just cried because how much I hate my. I’m tired of living at the sink having major anxiety for almost no reason and if I try to fight it I just get more anxiety like well I touched my phone now I gotta wash my phone, it’s on my sheets, my clothes. I take super long showers i guess what I’m here for is help how can I help this what can I do to ease the anxiety like idk when I should or shouldn’t wash my hands anymore like my dog peed in the bathroom and got it on her paws then splash and got it in my mouth my clothes she walked around the house with paws full of pee I’m tired of cleaning everything and myself all the time can someone give me some advice

contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.

(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.

Hi guys I know I keep posting but I having real bad anxiety rn. My bathroom sink was plugged and my dad came and fixed it but he put the drain stopper on the top of my bathroom counter which got me frustrated. Mind you it was dirty water with like black particles on my COUNTER!!! I tried to keep my composure and told my dad that I appreciate him doing this and I know he has a way of doing things , but told him to not do that. He kinda got annoyed but I told him it really bothered me. He finally unclogged the drain and everything’s fine now. During him fixing it, I was there watching him closely n I watched as he put the drain stopper on top of my counter it got on the side of my gel that I use for my hair. Now I’m having false memory that the water splashed on my skin care products. Like what if the bacteria got inside my cleanser? I don’t even wanna wash my face. I thought about cloroxing each item but it seems like no matter how much I wash them, nothing helps and I keep wanted to buy more and more Clorox . I don’t wanna buy another cleanser bc 1.) it’s 11:23pm and 2.) it will make things worse. I’m scared but I’m gonna cleanse my face with it anyways . 😞 please any advice would help