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I totally agree with you, I sometimes feel like I am sometimes more comfortable just believing these thoughts, rather than not. I think for me is that I've gone through this for so long, that part of me just feels defeated and I am just so tired of fighting and ruminating. It's so overwhelming. You are not alone in this, and I hope that you, I and everybody else experiencing this can go back to our authentic and true selves with mindfulness, therapy, and doing the work.

100%. I feel so unlike myself and that I am a horrible person. That I am strange and some kind of monster. I constantly fear so much and want to get back to my true and happy self. It's so hard to do. OCD tries hard to convince you of its reality. I frigging hate it.

Just like thoughts, feelings can be intrusive too. It can feel like an urge, it can feel like a statement. OCD is great at making us think and feel like we want to do what OCD tells us to!