Making a 'responsibility list?'

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

Username: elliss2elliss2

Date posted: 39w ago

No, I don’t know it. But dear fellow sufferer🙌, you don’t have to make yourself so small. You don’t have to calculate this and make yourself remember all those things. I can tell from your post that you’re very considerate, which might be because of OCD, but you’re also considerate beneath it, I’m sure.

Username: CatWhiskersCatWhiskers

Date posted: 39w ago

I appreciate this, it's hard to bring myself to remember past the worry and fear. I know I'm a good person, and just a person, but it's so hard recently. ❤

Username: LeslieB3LeslieB3

Date posted: 39w ago

i totally get where you're coming from, feeling like you have to keep track of everything to avoid messing up can be really exhausting. it sounds like you're putting a lot of effort into managing your interactions and the anxiety that comes with them. that's a tough spot to be in, and you're not alone in feeling this way. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck"? when i was in a similar spot, what really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyOCD.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended to me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized step-by-step support for moments exactly like this, helping you navigate through the anxiety without the need for lists or reminders, just like an OCD therapist would. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: CatWhiskersCatWhiskers

Date posted: 38w ago

I forgot to respond to this- Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!! I have it!! Yes, I can't remember who suggested it to me on here, but once they did I downloaded it and it really helped out (especially since, being unable to get a therapist myself, it is able to teach me about possible OCD brain loops that I didn't know. Plus OCD specific vocab which really helps me feel less like an imposter.) Thank you for the reminder, actually, I was so stuck in my brain (heheh, unstuck) that I forgot about that app for a little while.

Username: LeslieB3LeslieB3

Date posted: 38w ago

@CatWhiskers - Hi! I'm happy to hear that it has helped you previously and is willing to try it again. I have tried various resources as well like listening to podcasts and journaling. It has been really helpful when my symptoms flare up. Hope you're good!!

Username: bella k

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anyone else have the compulsion to confess? Even if I haven’t actually done anything my OCD will give me reasons that whatever I’ve done has either hurt someone or will cause people to dislike me. Is that just me?

Username: briarosa

Date posted: 1y ago

Note taking/low self esteem

Hello, I’m new here. I don’t have a formal diagnosis, just sharing my experiences with my obsessive thoughts. The only compulsion I really have is note taking. I feel the need to hoard most of my thoughts and write extensive to do lists, even scolding myself in notes like “be better!” or “STOP being the way you are.” When driving or unavailable to write things down, I have to repeat the thoughts in my head so I won’t forget until I can “save” them. Does anyone else have any experience with this fear of forgetting/not living the perfect life? My notes also revolve around anything someone might causally mention, taking turmeric for example. Will I ever incorporate that into my routine? No, but I write it down just in case because otherwise I’m convinced I won‘t live a healthy, fulfilling life. This all started when I lost a relative and also my house. I wonder if those losses made me subconsciously afraid to lose more? I don’t know. On the bright side, my current medication has been helping my depression. I am able to function and get out of bed, for the most part. But when I am in class or work, I have such crippling self doubt. I don’t feel like I am capable of anything. I don’t trust myself with any tasks. It really gets me down, my thoughts just spiral and I can’t see myself being able to hold down a job that involves working with people…that leads to more note taking of how I can improve. I get such anxiety if I don’t know every little thing there is to know, necessary or not. I get so caught up in it that I can’t even do the bare minimum I DO know without messing up. Even my class notes are full of irrelevant notes from my obsessive thoughts that appear during a lesson, and a girl that sits near me laughs because of how crazy my notebook looks.

Username: Ancient-1

Date posted: 1y ago

Memory troubles?

I feel like now I have to record what happens to me/details of situations that trigger anxious episodes in order to have the "memory" in ink so I can't confuse it later when the rumination comes in. It has to be specific as I can possibly manage, down to date and time. I have done this as journaling, but I usually did that at the end of the day, but now I feel like I have to do it immediately after the thing happens. Is this a sign of compulsive behaviour, or am I just losing grip on my own memory? I'm also starting to doubt myself very strongly when it comes to confirming if "the bad thing" didn't happen, or if the "right thing" did. I can have ample evidence to support the outcome I know happened/didn't happen, but still brain doubts. I've been trying to go about my day living in the belief that I am right, but anxiety does not like to let go. I suppose this is all part of whatever disorder I've developed... Just gotta live I suppose. I am so tired of this...

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Making a 'responsibility list?'

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