- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Question for “conquerors”
Is it actually possible to get to the point of no longer having a certain intrusive thought or subtype of OCD? Or is it ONLY possible to learn how to deal with it? Thanks
Is it actually possible to get to the point of no longer having a certain intrusive thought or subtype of OCD? Or is it ONLY possible to learn how to deal with it? Thanks
The thoughts don’t disappear forever, but they become less severe. When they pop up, you can manage your reaction, not engage, and resist compulsions. Some days are harder than others-I’ve gotten through a theme, then a trigger will bring it back and the urge to do a compulsion comes back strong. But with ERP, you learn that thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t have to have meaning. You can acknowledge them and move on. My therapist reminds me everyone has intrusive thoughts-even people without OCD. So the goal isn’t to get rid of them, but to just not care if they come up. A personal example for me is washing dishes-I needed to wash them for a really, really long time until they felt perfectly clean. I did exposure work, and now I don’t spend a really long time on each dish, I don’t run hot water over the sponge for several minutes. Sometimes the urge to really scrub comes back. The other day, I watched my friend wash her dishes and it wasn’t the “right” way. But I ignored my brain telling me she was doing it wrong, I sat with the uncertainty of not knowing how her family washes dishes, and I ate popcorn out of the bowl she gave me without trying to mentally clean it too. I had a thought, it wasn’t severe, and I went on with my evening, and focused on my value of spending time with my friend. And I’m getting my life back from my OCD.
And I dono about ‘never’ having a thought again. I really doubt anyone ‘never’ has a thought. You just stop caring as much. It feels like eating to me now. I know I have a bit of a problem with it sometimes, I’ll eat too much junk food. Or forget to eat. But I’m confident I can pull myself out and I notice it.
I agree with the other comments! I know it feels hard and impossible right now, but you’ll stop caring about the thoughts. You might laugh at the silliness when they come in or just know what told to use. Eventually you brain will get the message and the intrusive thoughts will slow down until they are nearly gone! Just remember healing is not linear, so each day will have a new challenge to conquer. You’ve got this!!
@ConqueringisPossible Thank you for that! :)
Hey the conqueror badge indicates a clinical measure of improvement. They measure how much time you are compulsing a day and your quality of life.
@ListenToTheWind Thank u! :) and congrats
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate you sharing your insight and progress. I know I’ll have various intrusive thoughts forever, but there’s also a very physiologically disturbing theme that comes up so I hope I can get to the point where that specific imagery doesn’t come up anymore- because life would suck to even have it keep being a theme. I have to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing what life and my brain will bring down the road, but to avoid despair I will also cherish the hope that with time and practice of not giving it power, it will fade away. I’d much rather have other obsessions to contend with lol
Also curious on how yall get that badge! :) Is it like a specific milestone goal in our treatment or is it the specific/subjective opinion of your therapist? Just wondering
Common posts on here are "i had a thought" "why am i thinking this" "what if" and these are all OCDs way of making you doubt yourself while taking you round and round in never ending circles at the same time. Regardless of the theme you are facing, there is no "figuring out" or "making sense" of a thought, because it isn't a real situation - it's a passing word or image or scenario without any meaning attached. You can't control your thoughts and the more you "don't want to have them" the more they will appear. For instance, tell yourself not to think about "apples", it will be the first thing that comes to your mind, because that's just how our minds work. Once you categorise a thought as "bad", every time it comes into your mind, your anxiety level will go up and this makes the thought seem real. Because if it "Feels" this bad, surely it must mean something or must have happened - But none of this is true. All we have to do is naturally notice thoughts as they come up, and rather than try to assess or ruminate over the content, we can almost shrug them off. It's the only way to accept thoughts as simply thoughts and nothing more. Anxiety drives the intense feeling and the more attention you give to thoughts, the more power they have over you. No random thought can change your real intentions. OCD is never ever satisfied, so the only way forward is to accept the uncertainty of never knowing "for sure" and to class the unwanted thought as irrelevant. OCD says "quick..bad thought..feels horrible.. what does it mean.. fix it". But in reality there is nothing bad here or nothing to be fixed, it's a false alarm. Once you learn to respond to a thought calmly by working on anxiety, it gets easier over time. It's your perception of your thoughts that needs to change, you believe they mean something about you, but random things pop into our heads all the time - both things we like and things we don't. OCD also latches onto what we care about most and it always comes with a feared consequence, so think about what yours is, e.g "what happens if my worst fear comes true" you can then practice imaginal exposure which is imagining your worst case scenario over and over until you become desensitised to it and no longer fear it - therapists use this technique in sessions. Everyone in the world has thoughts, the thoughts are not the issue, you just get more of what you focus on, up until the point that you can change your attitude towards the thought. If I asked you if you went upstairs today you would have an answer straight away, however if I asked you a question related to your OCD theme, your anxiety would increase and you would doubt yourself, because that's OCD doing the thinking for you. Once you give it less power it becomes a less significant part of your day. It's so easy to give into compulsions as they feel like a "quick fix".. but as I mentioned, ocd is never happy, which is why it wants us to continue to check and seek reassurance. Once you start reducing and gradually stopping compulsions, whether this is rumination, checking, or a physical action (whatever you falsely believe is "keeping you safe" from your feared consequence) you will see it's not necessary to do them, and that the time consuming little things you have taught yourself to do have no effect on what actually happens in real life. Thoughts prompt feelings and feelings prompt actions - meaning - thoughts cause anxiety and anxiety drives unnecessary actions. As a side note, I overcame contamination ocd (I was in a very very bad way and now the theme doesn't bother me anymore). I still have OCD and it can affect me slightly at times, but i can manage it in a way that it doesn't interfere with my day and without the need to carry out compulsions. Please practice, because I promise it helps, it's super scary at first and extremely difficult but the end result is worth it. ERP therapy is also very helpful.
So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks
When you become a “conqueror” does it mean you’ve completed ERP or you’ve just gotten to a good place with it? If so, how long did it take to finish therapy and how did you finally make progress? I’m having a hard time sticking with it right now as it feels unproductive. I’ve been in ERP for about 2 months and I can’t wait to be done.
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