Question for “conquerors”

The thoughts don’t disappear forever, but they become less severe. When they pop up, you can manage your reaction, not engage, and resist compulsions. Some days are harder than others-I’ve gotten through a theme, then a trigger will bring it back and the urge to do a compulsion comes back strong. But with ERP, you learn that thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t have to have meaning. You can acknowledge them and move on. My therapist reminds me everyone has intrusive thoughts-even people without OCD. So the goal isn’t to get rid of them, but to just not care if they come up. A personal example for me is washing dishes-I needed to wash them for a really, really long time until they felt perfectly clean. I did exposure work, and now I don’t spend a really long time on each dish, I don’t run hot water over the sponge for several minutes. Sometimes the urge to really scrub comes back. The other day, I watched my friend wash her dishes and it wasn’t the “right” way. But I ignored my brain telling me she was doing it wrong, I sat with the uncertainty of not knowing how her family washes dishes, and I ate popcorn out of the bowl she gave me without trying to mentally clean it too. I had a thought, it wasn’t severe, and I went on with my evening, and focused on my value of spending time with my friend. And I’m getting my life back from my OCD.

And I dono about ‘never’ having a thought again. I really doubt anyone ‘never’ has a thought. You just stop caring as much. It feels like eating to me now. I know I have a bit of a problem with it sometimes, I’ll eat too much junk food. Or forget to eat. But I’m confident I can pull myself out and I notice it.

I agree with the other comments! I know it feels hard and impossible right now, but you’ll stop caring about the thoughts. You might laugh at the silliness when they come in or just know what told to use. Eventually you brain will get the message and the intrusive thoughts will slow down until they are nearly gone! Just remember healing is not linear, so each day will have a new challenge to conquer. You’ve got this!!

Hey the conqueror badge indicates a clinical measure of improvement. They measure how much time you are compulsing a day and your quality of life.

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate you sharing your insight and progress. I know I’ll have various intrusive thoughts forever, but there’s also a very physiologically disturbing theme that comes up so I hope I can get to the point where that specific imagery doesn’t come up anymore- because life would suck to even have it keep being a theme. I have to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing what life and my brain will bring down the road, but to avoid despair I will also cherish the hope that with time and practice of not giving it power, it will fade away. I’d much rather have other obsessions to contend with lol

Also curious on how yall get that badge! :) Is it like a specific milestone goal in our treatment or is it the specific/subjective opinion of your therapist? Just wondering