- Date posted
- 1y ago
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I want to enjoy my life and I won't be able to have this life again but this OCD is stopping me from feeling real I am literally crying right now I am just 17 and I have rest of my life left how will I spend it
I want to enjoy my life and I won't be able to have this life again but this OCD is stopping me from feeling real I am literally crying right now I am just 17 and I have rest of my life left how will I spend it
I started experiencing my OCD issues very young. I’m about to turn 30 this year. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it will all disappear some day, because it won’t. But you will get stronger, your symptoms will subside, new ones will appear, and you learn to cope with them as they come. My advice to you is to start therapy and psychiatry while you are young. If I could go back in time and change things I would have done it when I was your age instead of saying I didn’t need it back then. Because I really did. You will be ok my friend. This is where you push.
My exams are going to be over after 9 days so will it be ok if I start therapy after 9 days?
@happiness._.123 It’s never too late to start therapy, when you are able I urge you to look into it :)
Actually I'll tell you a story about one of my students. She was one of my proudest achievements in my career. It shows how much someone can change. So I'm a driving instructor and have done this job for a few years now. When I first started my effectively boss used to give me all the anxious ones in our driving school (she did this without my knowing. Only found out later). So I get this girl, 17, anxious AF, cuts all up and down her arms, legs are shaking and she can't stop touching her face with her left hand. It took 2 lessons to make progress because she was terrified. I thought this was made as she rides a motorbike. One lesson, when I felt like she was more confident, I told her I'd push her limits a bit and try and get her out her comfort zone. I stressed her out so much I genuinely thought she was going to self harm after. So I was messaging her to calm her down and trying to contact her parents at the same time. I got the dads number via the mum and we had a long phone call and he really appreciated me going to this length to make sure his daughter was fine. He gave me a few tips to deal with her and her quirks. Over time things got better and she started being more comfortable and Jesus she was weird, but it was really funny. I remember her scared to change gears on bends so I took us someehere quiet with roundabouts and changed into a gear so high on each of them that she was forced to change it or we would stall on the roundabout (which she was scared of more). After the was able to change gears no issues. Was like a game and kind of like ERP for her. Cut forward to the future and she needed me to pick her up from her boyfriends address which is fine by me. I some how put my phone on silent, including the alarm and slept I'm which is extremely rare for me. I woke up to several missed calls and extremely concerned messages from her. She was freaking out and thinking I had been in an accident or got lost because she changed the pick up address. A day later she asked for a refund for the lessons prepaid for and I could tell she was going to find another instructor. I didn't think it was that bad of an error. I felt guilty and apologised and wished her luck. Cut forward a month and a half, I'm on holiday and she calls me out of the blue to ask for me back as her other instructor was awful and her mum was going full Karen on that one to get them fired. I took her back np. I could hear the mum in the back saying she shouldn't have left me in the first place jokingly and this girl had the sense of humour to laugh about it. Turns out what happened when I didn't turn up because of the alarm.. She was having a huge melt down and her neighbour had a gf that was a new instructor and they were trying to poach her anyway because she needed the work. The bf didn't know how to calm her down so he came up with that as a solution because he was distressed. She was so distressed about the whole thing that she started peeing the bed which is crazy bless her. She looks like the twin of jenna ortega so you wouldn't expect it. With more progress she felt comfortable to do 60mph around bends at night on Country roads with no street lights (and doing it well). She also tried launching my car and "racing" a car next to me. I let her but once we hit the speed limit I slowed her down. If you told me she'd be anything like that when I first got her, I'd tell you to f off. 2 months roughly down the line and she passes with the strictest examiner who I think has ocd too. She didn't cut her wrists anymore, she was confident and extremely talkative and believed in herself. This wasn't all on me. This change was something she was working for and her bf helped her mentally behind the scenes. Last year she wanted to catch up and I agreed. I found she has ocd (I never knew. I thought it was severe anxiety) and I only just got diagnosed at that point and just discovered how ERP worked. We were really close by to a place that triggered a phobia of mine that I've had for over 15 years and she came with me while I did erp for it. I was there for about 4 minutes, thinking I'd die but I told her not to intervene, comfort me or reassure me in any way as I knew how this worked in theory. It worked and it was a eureka moment. I took that skill and used it on almost every opportunity I had, I'd even go out my way to do it. Even on stuff that wasn't ocd related. My phobia of 15+ years disappeared after 4 self erp exercises. Anyway.. She is now living with her bf and his family in a street full of mansions and she works at a bar. Has a nice motorbike and decent enough car and is more confident and level headed than I've ever seen her before by far. So yeh, ocd may be with you the rest of your life but that does not mean things can't get better. She is living proof. Think of ocd like a shadow. Follow the light and your ocd will be behind you. Follow the darkness and ocd will be leading you. It's all about where your focus is and the intention behind the focus.
Everyone okay? I have A healing affect
I work with people your age and people do change. You need to know your stuff though and out the work in. It's scarier when you don't what you're doing and everything will feel bleak
Put the work in*
I thought this was weird *
I’m losing it completely, I’ve never had a flare up like this with contamination. I’m so burnt out seriously , I feel like I’m going insane. My hands are cracking and bleeding from washing them and my family’s getting very tired of me , they think I should go stay in a hospital or something for a while because of how bad it is. OCD as taken away my relationships with people , I can’t sit on the couch anymore with my family , I can’t hug my dog anymore , I can’t relax ever. I just needed to write this down as I really can’t process my feelings right now as I have too many thoughts , any advice?
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
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