Can someone please help?

My thoughts about a brain tumor started to become a thing about 9 months ago. At first they were horrible but I've been able to control them ever since. Ever since spring break started a couple of days ago, thoughts about a brain tumor have been debilitating and they are so real I'm convinced I'm dying. My mind kept telling me I was worthless anyway, and finding belong so I all makes sense and all the symptoms make sense too. I can't go to the doctor because I'm in another state and I don't know what to do. I also ran out of medication a couple of days ago and I won't be able to get more until April 9th. So it might be that but I'm convinced I'm dying.

Abdullah35

Date posted: 1y

What kind of medication? Anti anxiety?

Gabby123go

Date posted: 1y

@Abdullah35 I was put on Prozac which I ran out of, and my physiatrist also gave me anti-anxiety meds which I still have. I forgot what brand they're from.

Abdullah35

Date posted: 1y

@Gabby123go Oh ok. I was just asking because it sounds like you’re spiraling out of control. Whenever I get in a state like that my fears feel real and nothing can convince me otherwise. Just know that what ever you’re convinced of now isn’t real and it’s just ocd. However I know that when your anxiety is elevated like yours is it’s impossible to see things clearly.

Gabby123go

Date posted: 1y

@Abdullah35 Yeah, I'm definitely spiraling out of control. I can't sleep at night which is unusual for me and I'm so convinced I'm dying. I was literally contemplating calling the ambulance because I thought I was dying. My anxiety is really high and I can't control it.

Abdullah35

Date posted: 1y

@Gabby123go Yea I thought so lol. When you are in this state it feels like your dying but your not actually. Focus on calming down first before worrying about this fake tumor because you need to be able to think clearly before anything else

Gabby123go

Date posted: 1y

@Abdullah35 Hi, I'm sorry I totally forgot to reply but yeah I'm still in the state and it's so debilitating. It's really hard to calm down because my mind keeps telling me I'm different and I'm gonna die because I don't belong. I'm so convinced it's real because I've looked it up 1,000 times and my headaches definitely don't feel like a tension headache.

Abdullah35

Date posted: 1y

@Gabby123go Do you see a ocd therapist? Because there’s nothing I can tell you that that will make you feel better. All I can say is that eventually you will need to accept the worst outcome and move on. For example for you it would be something like “ I have a brain tumor but it’s not gona kill me right away at least I can spend my last days with my family”. But you seriously need to start seeing an ocd specialist if you’re not already.

Gabby123go

Date posted: 1y

@Abdullah35 Yes I do have a therapist and I'm trying really hard to make progress but it's hard and I won't be able to see my therapist this week because she's sick.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Gabby123go

Date posted: 1y

@Bigotina Yeah, I've been getting pressure headaches for almost a year and I went to the doctors when I first started getting them and they said I was fine but I didn't really tell the doctor all my symptoms. And when I touch a spot on the back of my head it starts to hurt really bad and I'm scared it's a tumor. My parents won't let me go to the doctor because they said it's all in my head. My mind also tricks me into believing I have all the symptoms of a brain tumor but I definitely have hypertension headaches.

suzie90

Date posted: 13w

Scared I have a brain tumour

I had a migraine a little over a week ago after a few months of tremendous stress and anxiety. For a few days I was okay apart from a mild headache but then i got it into my head that I have a brain tumour. Yesterday I had the worst panic attack ever caused by all this overthinking. I started getting really dizzy, numb face and arm and I was convinced I had been correct and did have a brain tumour. The panic attack subsided after I calmed myself down a little bit but I am so anxious that I have a brain tumour. The numb feeling disappeared after the panic attack. But i have a dull headache, had a twitchy eye sometimes, and neck twitches. Sometimes when I really think about it I feel like I can’t focus or keep my vision straight. I can’t stop panicking about it I’m really really scared that there’s something wrong with me. I’m gonna go to the doctors to ask about it but i just needed to vent. I feel like recently I’m spending all the time thinking I have a brain tumour and it is honestly terrifying me so much.

Chessmixxd

Date posted: 10w

Cause For Concern

I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?

Ashley May G...

Date posted: 24d

I feel like I'm experiencing existential OCD

I CAN'T STOP THOUGHTS. I think about meaning of life, time, afterlife and other shit. I can't stop thinking. I cannot distract myself. When my thoughts are the worst I'm thinking about su*cide, and it scares me because I'm not suicidal and I don't want to die. But what if I do something with myself? Please I want any advice what to do, I can't afford therapy at the moment

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Can someone please help?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community