- Date posted
- 1y
- Date posted
- 1y
I went through this too, and my experience is similar. And I'm also a girl. I didn't know pOCD had a name at the time. I really thought that something was wrong with me and I almost killed myself. Something that has brought me a lot of peace is that it does have a name and that the reason it brings so much distress is because it goes against who I am. All those negative beliefs I feel about myself are false. It's the OCD telling me that. The world is better with you in it! You are not alone and you are not a terrible person.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
What you’re describing sounds a lot more like OCD than any evidence of being a bad person. It reminds me of how I felt when I was in the throes of it. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but are you doing therapy? I’ve never been able to solve anything without ERP, and unfortunately looking for support online can actually make things worse in the long run. But it’s totally worth it. My life is so much better than it was a year ago. It will get better. I promise.
- Date posted
- 1y
@FearAndLoathing I use to have therapy on here but my insurance ran out:( do u guys experience groinal responses? those make me so scared and worried the most and weird :;
- Date posted
- 1y
@co140 im scared it means something
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@co140 Yes I experience them. Remember what you learned in therapy. Maybe try looking up “OCD radical acceptance” on YouTube.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
- Date posted
- 11w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 10w
i feel the need to say sorry because i’m posting yet again. i’m having a REALLY DIFFICULT episode of ocd that i haven’t had for a few months now. i experience contamination ocd everyday and have constant anxiety attacks, however because that’s so normal to me and doesn’t affect anyone but myself, it doesn’t affect me in the same way harm ocd does. i haven’t had to deal with really bad harm ocd thoughts for a good bit now so i’m struggling so bad right now. if anyone has seen my previous posts (which i’m sure you have), this came about over a small change that happened a couple weeks ago. it’s now blossoming into a full episode. it’s making me feel paralyzed and not want to do anything, but i know in the past i had to force myself to distract myself by actually doing things. i’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow, but i’m so close to cancelling because i feel like i can’t do it. my physical symptoms are also worse than what i feel like i’m used to and it’s terrifying me into thinking i’m gonna get sick. i just don’t know how to get through it. it feels like impending doom and constant panic. i just want to feel like myself again and happy
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