My current OCD flare surrounds health, and death and life after death. My mind is latching on the “what if” there is no God, Jesus or life after death. I was raised Christian, but these thoughts (obsessive) keep questioning. I keep Praying for a CLEAR sign, which hasn’t come yet. I wish I could pick up the phone and talk to loved ones passed. Due to these obsessions, I’m terrified of losing a loved one daily. It’s torture.
I’m experiencing the exact same thing, even the health worries. What I’ve started doing is familiarizing myself with death. Im almost trying to “make it a friend” in a really weird/scary way. My biggest fear is death and my loved ones dying. So in order to find comfort in such a scary thing, I’m trying to educate myself on it. I’m reading a book right now that my mom recommended to me. It’s called “Final Gifts”. It’s about the experiences hospice nurses went through and things they’ve heard from their dying patients. I literally just started reading the book last night, but I’m already facilitated and comforted. 🦋
I have this too. Just say “Maybe there isn’t a God”, “maybe a loved one will die tomorrow”. Don’t struggle with the thoughts.
I used to have EXACTLY this obsession. I TOTALLY understand. And I am incredibly sorry I understand the torture.
@hvtwirler28 What did you do to make it go away?
@Dawn3 I had an exposure and response therapist. He saved my life. He helped me do hard things and overcome my obsessions so that I could retrain my brain. Do you have an erp therapist or thinking about getting one? I would also look into the woman Jenna Overbaugh. She has an instagram and many other platforms where she gives the best ocd tips ever.
@hvtwirler28 Thank you so very much
so i have ocd but this is the main theme ive been dealing with for the last few months, im obsessed with my mortality and i feel trapped by the reality of death. i dont really believe in an afterlife which makes it scarier, not that i dont wanna my brain literally just wont let me. but i have daily panic attacks thinking about death all day, its honestly the toughest thing ive ever dealt with. does anybody have any tips on how they manage this if they have ever dealt with it? not looking for reassurance, just some non compulsive ways to kind of lessen the grip of the fear.
At first, it just started as harmless questions, curiously exploring the universe and what life and death mean as a human. Then it became an obsession about death and the afterlife. I’m a Catholic-turned-agnostic who recently took an interest in religion again, trying to redevelop a relationship with God without letting the fear of not being good enough and possibly going to Hell taking over me. Instead, my brain latched onto the possibility that there is no God, that there’s eternal nothingness after the short time we have here on earth and that everything means nothing. My love for my friends and family. My desire to achieve my goals, and to be happy for the people I love achieving theirs. I’m haunted by the feeling that it will all be for nothing, that I will never be reunited with those that I love, that the people I love who have passed on have ceased to exist and one day, so will I and everyone else. I can’t function now. I’ve made myself physically ill over this. I’ve lost my appetite. As someone who once took pride in how much love I have for my job as a daycare teacher, I come into work and feel numb. I go home and feel numb. I’ve obsessively started telling the people in my life how much I love and appreciate them because for the past three days, I’ve been sick thinking about how one day, either I’ll leave them or they’ll leave me. It feels like nothing matters. It feels like everything is in vain. I’ve tried so hard to reframe my mindset, to rewire my brain to not think that way. I’ve tried ERP techniques of allowing myself to sit with the discomfort that the fear brings. To try and desensitize myself to this fear. Nothing seems to work. I’m so lost. I’ve been this way for three days, with yesterday and today being worse than the day it started. It’s like the obsession is morphing into depression in a way. I’m scared I’ll never feel enjoyment in any form again. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort
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