Driving

My OCD is at its worst when I drive. I have been struggling with it really bad this week and it’s so disheartening cause I have to drive to work and try to keep it together when I’m screaming inside. I have been in accidents that were my fault and I have been told my whole life that I am a terrible driver. Ever since my last accident 2 years ago I have been terrified every time I hit a bump in the road that I hit something. I keep looking in my rear view mirror. I live in an area with narrow streets, I’m terrified I’m going to hit a mirror or something. On the way to work today I was shaking the whole drive over. I try to drive really slow but I feel like it’s making it worse. I want to stop driving completely and not get my car fixed it’s so bad. I have struggled with ocd about other things but this one has been the hardest to shake. I’m crying in the bathroom cause I discovered a new scratch on the car and I’m racking my brain trying to figure out when it happened. I want to just let it go but it’s sooo hard.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

Regardless of your fear, what do you want to change about this whole situation? ( no avoidance). I teach people to drive for a living and have taught people with ocd/ gad and other disorders

lil_

Date posted: 1y

@Wolfram I feel like a lot of my issues when driving are confidence, concerns about my depth perception on narrow streets and pulling in and out of lots. I also get really concerned about zoning out and I get distracted really easily. I don’t have peripheral vision or great depth perception on the right because I can’t move my right eye to the right, which has always made it more difficult for me too. I have gotten to the point where I completely avoid (I know it’s bad lol) parallel parking cause I feel like I can’t tell how far away I am from people. Idk maybe taking driving lessons again would help. I just don’t trust myself.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@lilykronky How do you look right then? I'm guessing you have to turn your whole head right or it just gets blurry? It almost sounds like a target fixation problem which is common and easy to deal with but takes time to create better habits. Give me an example of something that happened on a narrow street.

lil_

Date posted: 1y

@Wolfram Yeah I have to turn my whole head or go cross eyed essentially, which is fine, it’s just annoying, and it makes me second guess myself. It’s like a lazy eye. It’s weird, I’ve had this issue my whole life and it’s still instinct to look with my eyes even if I go cross eyed. I took someone mirror off like ten years ago but I was definitely a reckless driver then. Now it’s more there are a lot of streets where I live that could/should be one ways that aren’t, I stay in the middle and I just keep checking and looking in my mirrors to make sure I am not hitting someone on either side to the point I’m not really watching where I’m going or sometimes I literally stop. I also worry about staying in my lane on busy roads. Lots of turning my head and checking my mirrors, or but I feel like I focus too much on one spot. I am not sure what target fixation is but it sounds like what I am doing lol, I hyper focus on where a specific part of my car is and sometimes I notice details like scratches other peoples cars and I focus on those. I have trouble focusing on the situation as a whole.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@lilykronky I'm teaching a girl like this at the moment and she has a lazy eye, it's her right one. Target fixation is getting fixated on one thing for too long. Kinda like ocd with compulsions and intrusive thoughts. If the roads are narrow go a little slower. If you have to tuck into gaps to let oncoming cars through, you don't have to tuck in all the way, just enough to give them space. When you do tuck in, try and leave enough space to get around the parked cars, finish parallel to the side of the road or facing slightly towards the middle ( it's a bit awkward when you don't). Of you need more time to think, slowing down is your best option but try not to brake harshly if someone is behind you. Checking out your window and using your mirrors are fine but if you don't look forward for the majority of it it's an issue. If you don't look where you're going, you may end up where you're heading ( applies to ocd too). I tend to tell my students with this when trying to judge oncoming traffic and gaps to act like a paranoid meerkat. Look where you want to head, then back to where you need to go and repeat.

lil_

Date posted: 1y

@Wolfram Okay I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for taking the time to help me with this I really appreciate it, less scared to get in the car and drive home :)

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@lilykronky Glad I could help. Another thins I'd suggest is to practice a little even when you don't need to drive

mehtjimmy

Date posted: 1y

I was like this last year, I am still not recovered completely but I am getting better. I still have other OCD but this one under control. I will tell you, you will be come out from this. Try slowly, this anxiety/fear is the solution, you have to bear that without doing compulsion/avoidance. Try to drive around your neighbor hood and dont check. When you are at home do imaginal exposure, close eyes and imagine you are driving fast/careless. You have lot of scratch marks on your car. Then increase your driving frequency. when thought comes just say "Yeah I might have hit somebody , we'll see" I understand urge/fear will be scary but thats the only way you will recover.

lil_

Date posted: 1y

@mehtjimmy That gives me hope :) I’ll try that

Flower1004

Date posted: 24w

It’s been getting worse..

Just sorta to vent and maybe get advice… I normally struggle with OCD and other MH/ medical issues.. I’ve sorta become acclimated to the stress, pain, mind games, and constant perfectionism. I thought I had it under control but this OCD has just been creeping back in small ways over time. I’ve caught myself doing behaviors and not feeling able to stop it. (This is combo of OCD but not sure how to categorize it all) - compulsively counting body movements til it’s the right number and feeling - adjusting papers/rewritten notes numerous times - irrational thoughts of my new pup being dead when I check on her - irrational thoughts that I don’t love my partner or he doesn’t love me after almost 10 years - every plate, cup, utensil has to be properly inspected before being able to use it - food can not have day of expiration (or even close to it) or a weird look or smell = it is inedible - recent close call accident led to dread driving and constant thoughts of a crash even though I did what I could and didn’t crash The list just keeps going.. but it has simply been a struggle that has lead me to feeling self conscious, unprofessional, childish, ashamed, and crazy. It’s a hard thing to accept that this has begun to return after finding ways to cope and manage in the past. I am struggling with finding ways to cope with it all cuz it is constantly disturbing my relationship, work, and personal well being Well that’s my truth for the day

uncertain_Aly

Date posted: 21w

Does OCD impact your ability to get to work?

Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Ocd Driving

Does anyone have hit and run ocd ? Or possibly causing an accident by crossing the middle line and a vechile going into a ditch ?

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