The compulsions are just terrible. I don’t want to do them but some are so automatic and I need the relief so badly. I try to hold them off, and I stopped ERP but I think I should restart it.
Sounds like you know what to do. Get back on it. You can do this. Its just a bump in a long road
@Wolfram Agreed! You know what to do so now you have to go about making changes.
Hey, it's hard I know, and I know you have so much enough of people telling you that you need to be strong and do it. I know it cause I have been there, and who knows, maybe will be there some day. Just know that you are not alone. We are in this together and we will get out of this together. So the thing is, yeah, ERP is the right way and you should do it in order to live a better life with OCD. But I get it, you are exhausted and people telling you to just do it doesn't help, cause that's what you already know right? Maybe you need something to gain some power, listen to "I am not afraid" from Eminem, or perhaps cry a bit, that might help. It also might help to try to make a different form of therapy, I don't mean to let ERP go, cause it's the effective thing, but have you heard of ACT therapy? It's about acceptance and commitment. There is a good book, it's called "the ACT workbook for OCD". Also try to attend to the self help groups and speak openly to others about your struggles, community helps:) I am here for you and damn I won't let you down, I won't leave this hell without you. You got this!! No, we got this!!! So, what about you do this: Cry a bit. Yeah I fucking mean it, let all the shit out. You are angry and you should be, it's not fair. After you calmed down a bit, listen to I'm not afraid by Eminem, to build up your courage, read a bit about ACT therapy or buy the book if you want:) Then choose your lowest trigger, do an exposure for just 5 or 15 minutes. Fuck yeah, you have done it, You are back it the Seattle and you coming in hot. Now you killed the zombies on your door and dealed with the short term fuck, it's time for your reward, do something relaxing what you like, eat chocolate, chill out and go to sleep, of course OCD will be there, but we will deal with it later. When you wake up, you search for self help groups in the nocd app and talk to others, same as yesterday you inform yourself a bit about ACT and do a little exposure of a LOW trigger, what about 30 minutes?
@WrappedinIvy My theme is suicide OCD but I’m 99 percent sure I also have suicidal thoughts (terrible, right?) I know exposure makes all sorts of things come up like urges and what not, but it’s like watching the videos for my exposure which is mostly what makes me uncomfortable is making me want to hurt myself more and I hate that??? Maybe I’m being tricked by my own brain and this is normal but idk
i feel you, the struggle with compulsions can be so tough, especially when they become automatic. it's really brave of you to share and to consider restarting erp, even though it's hard. 💪 have you heard about "unstuck"? it's an ai-powered therapy tool specifically for ocd (unstuckmyocd.com). it's been a game-changer for me this past month and might offer you some support too. another member here recommended it to me, and i just wish i'd known about it sooner!
i have this app and i love it.. just a shame that more folks in the OCD community dont know about it yet!!
@WillyNile I should try that!
@Ihateocd72 - hope it helps you:))
I should add that I’ve been on medication since July so that’s about 9 months almost? It helps quite a bit but I thought it would help fully stop the compulsions because I realized I was doing compulsions the whole time making it worse.
Anyone else find ERP incredibly difficult? My OCD does not want any part of it. I feel helpless because I keep giving into compulsions and a small part of me knows that the only way out is to stop compulsions. My OCD says otherwise, however. It has even gone so far to convince me that I actually cannot ever accept uncertainty and I find it so hard to not believe it. I know I will only ever find out if I stop compulsions but it is so damn hard and now OCD is getting in the way of my school work. One week I'm highly motivated and ready to fight, then the next week I'm so low and cannot stop ruminating. Then when I want to try again I know I'll just give in again. Much love for anyone suffering from this nonsense.
Today I just feel like I'm at my worst trying to beat the compulsions. It just really hurts, after I have made progress I still get this episodes where I start believing all the intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am carrying a mountain of nothingness, just problem solving without a problem, rumination all the time. I'm trying my best to stop the compulsion, but today I relapsed. I'll come back to do ERP when I'm feeling better. On top of all that I'm really fighting my porn addiction, it's a lot of weight, but I'm doing good so far.
I did compulsions again after quitting that for a few days. So sad. Now the cycle is going to start again
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