I hate my brain

I hate when my brain makes me think some how I’ve cheated on my boyfriend I keep thinking about this one time I was with an old friend and she met this guy online and wanted to play a game with him and me he was the type to like “flirt” in a joking way but I still said multiple times I had a bf so eventually my friend leaves and it’s just me and him I felt bad for leaving too and I wanted to try and make a friend so I stayed around he kept being weird in that joking flirting way and I was constantly either ignore it or laugh it off but my brain is making think I cheated by staying in the call with him because of how he was i never spoke to him since cause he said something really really weird towards the end and I told my friend and we cut him off and I feel like if I told my bf he would leave because I think that he’d think that I cheated on him I just wanted to try and get to know the guy I didn’t want anything more than that it wasn’t just towards me he was doing it with her too I fear I’m about to give into a compulsion and tell my bf due to the anxiety

ExpertParakeet

Date posted: 1y

I understand you and I feel for you so much. This is my current theme, too, and it’s absolutely debilitating. However, please do not give into the compulsion. I have multiple times and it’s never, ever truly relieved my anxiety. The OCD always finds something new to ruminate on and then I begin having False Memory/Real Event themes on top of the ROCD, as well. I make mountains out of molehills and I question my entire perception of reality. I reach a point where I cannot discern from what is/isn’t a real event/feeling. I really want to offer reassurance, but it will just make it worse. Please understand this is all OCD. OCD will attack what matters the most to us (like a romantic relationship). Check out Ali Greymond on YouTube.

jade_d

Date posted: 1y

@ExpertParakeet Thank you I appreciate you keeping it down to earth with no reassurance:)

mia1234

Date posted: 1y

@ExpertParakeet this is great. thank you 🙏🏻 i have the same these rn and it’s crippling

jade_d

Date posted: 1y

@mia1234 It’s so tiring because I’m always looking for something I did wrong

mia1234

Date posted: 1y

@jade_d i crossed some lines in the past with other people i didn’t have sex with them or anything but i am still riddled with shame. i told my girlfriend about it. this was a year and a half ago and i instilled am consumed with ocd and shame. my girlfriend forgave me and loved me tirelessly thru it all. we are still together and want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together etc. i am ocding stuck in a through loop that i maybe didn’t tell her everything or i missed something or i didn’t tell her enough or im a liar or a fraud etc. and i was doing so well then got triggered again.

jade_d

Date posted: 1y

@mia1234 Omg same I was so awful in the beginning of my relationship so now I’m just so scared all the time to ever do that to him again

jade_d

Date posted: 1y

@mia1234 Like I feel like I so badly want to tell him but I know it’s just gonna end up in me seeming so silly

mia1234

Date posted: 1y

@jade_d same

mia1234

Date posted: 1y

stay strong. we can get thru this. this theme debilitates me but trust the process and don’t lose hope. seek help 🙏🏻

matchalover123

Date posted: 25w

freaking out think i cheated

last night one of my friend groups guy friends came over just to hang out and ended up staying until 1 am. idk if i’m just overthinking but i think he was being a little too nice to me like trying to flirt. like he was staring at me quite a bit and at one point he said “you have really nice eyes i really like your eyes”. which was a nice compliment sure but it made me feel very weird. he also ALWAYS hugs me and my friends when he leaves and for some reason my brain thinks that if i touch a man more than a first bump im cheating. ik it’s not so i try to give him a high five or let him hug me without freaking out but i literally feel like i cheated. idk if it’s just my rocd trying to convince me i cheated or that i like him or something but i’ve been freaking out abt it. i was literally talking abt my bf the whole time (just incase he was trying to flirt so he’d know i didn’t want/like it). at one point he also asked if we saw something on his snapchat story and i was like oh i don’t have you on snap and he seemed very excited to add me but i told him no bc it feels disrespectful to snap guys other than my bf. he was also touching us a lot like he’d rest his arm on me to show me and my friends a video and i just let it happen bc he might not have meant it but i was freaking out everytime he touched me bc i felt like it was cheating. he wasn’t really doing it to any of my other friends. idk if it’s just my ocd or if it’s actually wrong but i tend to keep my guy friends at an arms length bc it feels wrong to get super close to a man who isn’t my bf and i feel like this guy is crossing the line. am i just overthinking and should try sitting with my anxiety or should i say something? idk if im just being dramatic

anonymous737...

Date posted: 22w

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

anonymous737...

Date posted: 22w

plss helpppp

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