- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I 10000000000000000% relate lol this waithing game getting booring
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I won't able to help you but I'm in the same situation as you are. I have not been afraid to be gay for aver a year now. I realized I'd never be gay. I don't have any anxiety anymore. But my aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex has disappeared.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Starboiklem why attraction is important? Because i never realized its such abbig part. I wouldnt be here if i didnt miss it. Its crazy hoe much impact it has. Its like a huge part of ur identity is cut out. You feel an empty hole. Do u know how goodnit feels to be in love or to have a crush or te be attracted to a boy. Its litteraly something that glows up ur life it gives it flowers and makes it better. I cant even explain how much ive changednfor the worse ever since its gone. Its just the realization thst u know unwouldve be in love with someone but ur not feeling the things younused to. I cant listen to music because i csnt think of someone or be happy. Littersly my future is messed up because of this my plans my wishes my dreams. I always wnsted to marry snd all thst my biggest dream wad to have a boyfriend but how is thst possible without attraction. Its not thst i dont feel like being sexual its like i feel like being sexual but my brain is putting a wall infrotn of it thst doesnt allow me to fall in love with a boy again. Its so empty. Im 17 years old and i feel like my life littersly ended here. It feels like a huge never ending cycle i live in. It used to come with anxiety but thats gone. Now all i feel is numbness. Hocd just made me so numb and i crave feelings for a boy or any feeling in general like i dont feel alive at all. All my passions and dreams are killed by this because hocd fucked with our identitys. It killed who we are. It makes us doubt everything we are and then it makes u beliebe ur not what u thiught u was and then u start believing it and boom. Ur lost
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m thinking guys what if he didn’t recover like what if we need to do erp therapy
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- 5y ago
Yes but that’s good at least we can recover
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- 5y ago
Fuck what u said hit me sooooo hard in the heart damn gurl
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- 5y ago
Like gurl what should we do now ? Seriously I’m so numb I don’t feel anything towards anything
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- 5y ago
Like damn when u day ocd anyone would think like yeah it’s not a big mental illness like shut up u don’t know wtf is does like dying sometimes is better tf❓
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- 5y ago
@katis idkk im just as lost as you. This thing is def the hardest mental thing i ever went trough. If i tokd myself 2 yrs ago hocd was gonna interrupt my life this bad i wouldnt have believed it. It hurts so much to know thst if only i never started the doubting i would be in such a better place. The thing is i wont stop fighting becaude i know what happiness feels likes and this AINT it. I know the feeling if being happy snd i havent felt it once this yesr but it does make sure for me that being happy is a thing (hocd sometimes makes me forget what hapyness is) and that i want to feel it again so bad. Its just thst this emptyness is killing and sometimes i still question like what if all this is just me finding out im not straight but idk it doesnt sound right it just doesnt. I dont know where to go from hete all i know is thst ive changed soo much snd i actually became a horrible person due to being down all the damn time. I hope one day ill have a clear mindset again and see what what the girl before hocd happened saw. I want her mind back, her vision on life back, her joy back, her style back everything i want me back my identity
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi , where you able to overcome the emptiness feeling ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know about hocd because I had it,i didn't necessarily lost attraction but i couldn't make out or date any girl because that caused my ocd to spike telling me why are you dating girls if you like men?or why are you making up with this girl you should be making up with men blah blah,see you are 17 you are catastrophizing which i do too as that's a ocd pattern,you have a lot of time to fall in love and people with hocd often take some time to find their attraction because attraction is mental as well and ocd fucks that part up. I mean it's kinda hard to feel attraction if you been fucked by a mental illness you'll need some time to recover as attraction comes from a healthy state of mind. Also did you get over hocd or do you still have it? If you still have it it could be sabotaging your attraction asswell
- Date posted
- 5y ago
We*
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know exactly im scared that u just will stay numb forever snd only way out is to go and pay for therspy sessions that will make u anxious and expose the anxiety back into ur life
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I mean sometimes I wanna commit suicide so yeah anxiety it better I guess but do u think if we did erp therapy we would get anxious again cuz now I don’t get anxiety from anything about gay stuff so what do u think like does the therapist know how to expose us
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I think so because idk bout u but i got rid of the anxiety by pusing itnout of my head, ignoring it instead of facing it. So like now it doesnt make me feel anything anymore but im afraid that if someobody like a therapist tries to face me with the thoughts the anxiety will kick back in. Because now i dont feel anxiety because i distract myself but im almost sure that if i sit 10 minutes thinking about a freaky gay scenario that i can get anxious again but im not sure bc i dont know my brain that well lol. Also were u serious about that ur suicidal???? Because thats very concerning to me..
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can i ask why is getting your attraction to boys back so important to you?like if you don't feel like being sexual why do you have to be?This whole ocd thing probably left some wound that needs to heal for you to feel attraction,4 months isn't that much it may take longer but don't be desparate because that puts pressure on you which makes it harder for you to get attraction. Don't force it if it comes that's good I don't see why you absolutely have to be attracted to boys give it time don't stress about it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hocdgurlsummer u said distract your self I didn’t get it like now if u watch porn gay do u get anxiety or not bc I don’t
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- 5y ago
I mean ur not like my situation @hocdgirlsummer I don’t get any anxiety but u do compulsions to stop the anxiety right?? If not explain more about ur situation
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- 5y ago
Say*
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- 5y ago
Hocdsummergirl do u have an insta
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Do u think it’s bc of the libido cuz sometimes I’m just like stuck idk what the fuck is it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@starboiklem heey, thanks for the helpfull comment! I still have it but not ad bad At all. Like i dont rlly have the thoughts as bad sometimes i feel like the tiniest bit of anxiety but thst goes away really fast. I jusr feel numb so when i feel numb i just call it hocd bc idk what it is othrtwise lol
Related posts
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 29d ago
hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible
- Date posted
- 7d ago
Can anyone give their experience on FALSE ATTRACTION? At this moment, mine has become worse. Soon as I see a male my anxiety shoots up, I can feel this in my chest and my OCD is telling me I’m attracted. But I continue to look back or stare and the disgust comes over me and my body shakes and I feel my face screw up. I can’t listen to music I use too or watch movies which was a favourite thing of mine to do. I just feel disgusted and not who I am when it happens. It’s like a different me. P.S. I had a very good week few days ago where I knew this wasn’t me and these feelings/ thoughts isn’t me.
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