YALL I DON’T GET ANXIETY AT ALL ANYMORE LIKE I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE THOUGHT OF BEING GAY FEEL LIKE I RECOVERED BUT I WANT MY ATTRACTION FOR BOYS BACK LIKE WTF IK SOME WILL SAY I NEED TO WAIT BUT I WAITED FOR 4 MONTH LIKE I SHOULD FEEL SOME CHANGE ITS GETTING WORSE IDK WHAT GOING ON LIKE IF U RECOVER YOU SHOULD BE YOURSELF AGAIN AND GET BACK YOUR ATTRACTION AND ALL THAT BUT ALL THAT RLLY HAPPENED TO ME IS THAT I DONT GET SCARED OF THE THOUGHTS ANYMORE WHATS THAT PLZZZZZ SOMEONE TELL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN LIKE I BEEN WANTING TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH ME SINCE FOREVER IF YOU FEEL TGE SAME PLZ TELL ME WHAT TO DOOO

I 10000000000000000% relate lol this waithing game getting booring

I won't able to help you but I'm in the same situation as you are. I have not been afraid to be gay for aver a year now. I realized I'd never be gay. I don't have any anxiety anymore. But my aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex has disappeared.

@Starboiklem why attraction is important? Because i never realized its such abbig part. I wouldnt be here if i didnt miss it. Its crazy hoe much impact it has. Its like a huge part of ur identity is cut out. You feel an empty hole. Do u know how goodnit feels to be in love or to have a crush or te be attracted to a boy. Its litteraly something that glows up ur life it gives it flowers and makes it better. I cant even explain how much ive changednfor the worse ever since its gone. Its just the realization thst u know unwouldve be in love with someone but ur not feeling the things younused to. I cant listen to music because i csnt think of someone or be happy. Littersly my future is messed up because of this my plans my wishes my dreams. I always wnsted to marry snd all thst my biggest dream wad to have a boyfriend but how is thst possible without attraction. Its not thst i dont feel like being sexual its like i feel like being sexual but my brain is putting a wall infrotn of it thst doesnt allow me to fall in love with a boy again. Its so empty. Im 17 years old and i feel like my life littersly ended here. It feels like a huge never ending cycle i live in. It used to come with anxiety but thats gone. Now all i feel is numbness. Hocd just made me so numb and i crave feelings for a boy or any feeling in general like i dont feel alive at all. All my passions and dreams are killed by this because hocd fucked with our identitys. It killed who we are. It makes us doubt everything we are and then it makes u beliebe ur not what u thiught u was and then u start believing it and boom. Ur lost

I’m thinking guys what if he didn’t recover like what if we need to do erp therapy

Yes but that’s good at least we can recover

Fuck what u said hit me sooooo hard in the heart damn gurl

Like gurl what should we do now ? Seriously I’m so numb I don’t feel anything towards anything

Like damn when u day ocd anyone would think like yeah it’s not a big mental illness like shut up u don’t know wtf is does like dying sometimes is better tf❓

@katis idkk im just as lost as you. This thing is def the hardest mental thing i ever went trough. If i tokd myself 2 yrs ago hocd was gonna interrupt my life this bad i wouldnt have believed it. It hurts so much to know thst if only i never started the doubting i would be in such a better place. The thing is i wont stop fighting becaude i know what happiness feels likes and this AINT it. I know the feeling if being happy snd i havent felt it once this yesr but it does make sure for me that being happy is a thing (hocd sometimes makes me forget what hapyness is) and that i want to feel it again so bad. Its just thst this emptyness is killing and sometimes i still question like what if all this is just me finding out im not straight but idk it doesnt sound right it just doesnt. I dont know where to go from hete all i know is thst ive changed soo much snd i actually became a horrible person due to being down all the damn time. I hope one day ill have a clear mindset again and see what what the girl before hocd happened saw. I want her mind back, her vision on life back, her joy back, her style back everything i want me back my identity

I know about hocd because I had it,i didn't necessarily lost attraction but i couldn't make out or date any girl because that caused my ocd to spike telling me why are you dating girls if you like men?or why are you making up with this girl you should be making up with men blah blah,see you are 17 you are catastrophizing which i do too as that's a ocd pattern,you have a lot of time to fall in love and people with hocd often take some time to find their attraction because attraction is mental as well and ocd fucks that part up. I mean it's kinda hard to feel attraction if you been fucked by a mental illness you'll need some time to recover as attraction comes from a healthy state of mind. Also did you get over hocd or do you still have it? If you still have it it could be sabotaging your attraction asswell

We*

I know exactly im scared that u just will stay numb forever snd only way out is to go and pay for therspy sessions that will make u anxious and expose the anxiety back into ur life

I mean sometimes I wanna commit suicide so yeah anxiety it better I guess but do u think if we did erp therapy we would get anxious again cuz now I don’t get anxiety from anything about gay stuff so what do u think like does the therapist know how to expose us

I think so because idk bout u but i got rid of the anxiety by pusing itnout of my head, ignoring it instead of facing it. So like now it doesnt make me feel anything anymore but im afraid that if someobody like a therapist tries to face me with the thoughts the anxiety will kick back in. Because now i dont feel anxiety because i distract myself but im almost sure that if i sit 10 minutes thinking about a freaky gay scenario that i can get anxious again but im not sure bc i dont know my brain that well lol. Also were u serious about that ur suicidal???? Because thats very concerning to me..

Can i ask why is getting your attraction to boys back so important to you?like if you don't feel like being sexual why do you have to be?This whole ocd thing probably left some wound that needs to heal for you to feel attraction,4 months isn't that much it may take longer but don't be desparate because that puts pressure on you which makes it harder for you to get attraction. Don't force it if it comes that's good I don't see why you absolutely have to be attracted to boys give it time don't stress about it

Hocdgurlsummer u said distract your self I didn’t get it like now if u watch porn gay do u get anxiety or not bc I don’t

I mean ur not like my situation @hocdgirlsummer I don’t get any anxiety but u do compulsions to stop the anxiety right?? If not explain more about ur situation

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Hocdsummergirl do u have an insta

Do u think it’s bc of the libido cuz sometimes I’m just like stuck idk what the fuck is it

@starboiklem heey, thanks for the helpfull comment! I still have it but not ad bad At all. Like i dont rlly have the thoughts as bad sometimes i feel like the tiniest bit of anxiety but thst goes away really fast. I jusr feel numb so when i feel numb i just call it hocd bc idk what it is othrtwise lol