- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I 10000000000000000% relate lol this waithing game getting booring
- Date posted
- 5y
I won't able to help you but I'm in the same situation as you are. I have not been afraid to be gay for aver a year now. I realized I'd never be gay. I don't have any anxiety anymore. But my aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex has disappeared.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Starboiklem why attraction is important? Because i never realized its such abbig part. I wouldnt be here if i didnt miss it. Its crazy hoe much impact it has. Its like a huge part of ur identity is cut out. You feel an empty hole. Do u know how goodnit feels to be in love or to have a crush or te be attracted to a boy. Its litteraly something that glows up ur life it gives it flowers and makes it better. I cant even explain how much ive changednfor the worse ever since its gone. Its just the realization thst u know unwouldve be in love with someone but ur not feeling the things younused to. I cant listen to music because i csnt think of someone or be happy. Littersly my future is messed up because of this my plans my wishes my dreams. I always wnsted to marry snd all thst my biggest dream wad to have a boyfriend but how is thst possible without attraction. Its not thst i dont feel like being sexual its like i feel like being sexual but my brain is putting a wall infrotn of it thst doesnt allow me to fall in love with a boy again. Its so empty. Im 17 years old and i feel like my life littersly ended here. It feels like a huge never ending cycle i live in. It used to come with anxiety but thats gone. Now all i feel is numbness. Hocd just made me so numb and i crave feelings for a boy or any feeling in general like i dont feel alive at all. All my passions and dreams are killed by this because hocd fucked with our identitys. It killed who we are. It makes us doubt everything we are and then it makes u beliebe ur not what u thiught u was and then u start believing it and boom. Ur lost
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m thinking guys what if he didn’t recover like what if we need to do erp therapy
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes but that’s good at least we can recover
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- 5y
Fuck what u said hit me sooooo hard in the heart damn gurl
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- 5y
Like gurl what should we do now ? Seriously I’m so numb I don’t feel anything towards anything
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- 5y
Like damn when u day ocd anyone would think like yeah it’s not a big mental illness like shut up u don’t know wtf is does like dying sometimes is better tf❓
- Date posted
- 5y
@katis idkk im just as lost as you. This thing is def the hardest mental thing i ever went trough. If i tokd myself 2 yrs ago hocd was gonna interrupt my life this bad i wouldnt have believed it. It hurts so much to know thst if only i never started the doubting i would be in such a better place. The thing is i wont stop fighting becaude i know what happiness feels likes and this AINT it. I know the feeling if being happy snd i havent felt it once this yesr but it does make sure for me that being happy is a thing (hocd sometimes makes me forget what hapyness is) and that i want to feel it again so bad. Its just thst this emptyness is killing and sometimes i still question like what if all this is just me finding out im not straight but idk it doesnt sound right it just doesnt. I dont know where to go from hete all i know is thst ive changed soo much snd i actually became a horrible person due to being down all the damn time. I hope one day ill have a clear mindset again and see what what the girl before hocd happened saw. I want her mind back, her vision on life back, her joy back, her style back everything i want me back my identity
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi , where you able to overcome the emptiness feeling ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I know about hocd because I had it,i didn't necessarily lost attraction but i couldn't make out or date any girl because that caused my ocd to spike telling me why are you dating girls if you like men?or why are you making up with this girl you should be making up with men blah blah,see you are 17 you are catastrophizing which i do too as that's a ocd pattern,you have a lot of time to fall in love and people with hocd often take some time to find their attraction because attraction is mental as well and ocd fucks that part up. I mean it's kinda hard to feel attraction if you been fucked by a mental illness you'll need some time to recover as attraction comes from a healthy state of mind. Also did you get over hocd or do you still have it? If you still have it it could be sabotaging your attraction asswell
- Date posted
- 5y
We*
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- 5y
I know exactly im scared that u just will stay numb forever snd only way out is to go and pay for therspy sessions that will make u anxious and expose the anxiety back into ur life
- Date posted
- 5y
I mean sometimes I wanna commit suicide so yeah anxiety it better I guess but do u think if we did erp therapy we would get anxious again cuz now I don’t get anxiety from anything about gay stuff so what do u think like does the therapist know how to expose us
- Date posted
- 5y
I think so because idk bout u but i got rid of the anxiety by pusing itnout of my head, ignoring it instead of facing it. So like now it doesnt make me feel anything anymore but im afraid that if someobody like a therapist tries to face me with the thoughts the anxiety will kick back in. Because now i dont feel anxiety because i distract myself but im almost sure that if i sit 10 minutes thinking about a freaky gay scenario that i can get anxious again but im not sure bc i dont know my brain that well lol. Also were u serious about that ur suicidal???? Because thats very concerning to me..
- Date posted
- 5y
Can i ask why is getting your attraction to boys back so important to you?like if you don't feel like being sexual why do you have to be?This whole ocd thing probably left some wound that needs to heal for you to feel attraction,4 months isn't that much it may take longer but don't be desparate because that puts pressure on you which makes it harder for you to get attraction. Don't force it if it comes that's good I don't see why you absolutely have to be attracted to boys give it time don't stress about it
- Date posted
- 5y
Hocdgurlsummer u said distract your self I didn’t get it like now if u watch porn gay do u get anxiety or not bc I don’t
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- 5y
I mean ur not like my situation @hocdgirlsummer I don’t get any anxiety but u do compulsions to stop the anxiety right?? If not explain more about ur situation
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- 5y
Say*
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- 5y
Hocdsummergirl do u have an insta
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- 5y
Do u think it’s bc of the libido cuz sometimes I’m just like stuck idk what the fuck is it
- Date posted
- 5y
@starboiklem heey, thanks for the helpfull comment! I still have it but not ad bad At all. Like i dont rlly have the thoughts as bad sometimes i feel like the tiniest bit of anxiety but thst goes away really fast. I jusr feel numb so when i feel numb i just call it hocd bc idk what it is othrtwise lol
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hello, im a 21ye old male. All of my life i was always atrscted to girls, even if it was only a hug by a girl i liked i got a boner. I always fantasised about doing fun stuff (not onyl sex) with my gf. Had a gf for almost two years. Two months ago i fell into severe anxiety about my sexuality changing. It happened to me 2 years ago bit then i had my gf and i did not need to worry if i will find a girl i love or will i be able to because i already had her. The toughts were realy intense but they faded and for 2 years i did not experience any doubts or fears about it. Then it happened again in december. For 2-3 weeks i was realy down...constant toughts about doing things with men i never wanted to do, fear that i liked someone, fear of denial...but them bc of getting back with my girlfriend it was okay for three weeks almosf. Then we broke up again and after a few days i had the worst days of my life. I felt like i actually changed, i did not know what to do. Then after a week I went out with a girl and when she laid on me when we wafched a show I got aroused like i always did with my ex. I felt such relief and i could handle my fears and anxiety for almost a month. Then a week ago the fear returned and i am again in a very bad spot, i dont know what else to do, i have no girl that i love, i am afraid i will never be able to experience those same feelings and moment that i had with my ex and then again the toughts of being in denial came back. I dont know what to do. My psychiatrist said i dont have ocd but onyl simptoms and that my anxiety is the proboem. Any one experienced something similar? Thanks
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
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