Struggling with relationship OCD (cheating)

I have been with my partner for over a year. I have a long history of abuse and pain, and he is my first healthy relationship. It truly feels this is the person I want to marry. Recently though, I made a new friend (male) and we’ve been talking almost daily over text. This friend is older than me and has two kids, but is single. I love our conversations, and I find myself looking forward to talking with him. I made it clear multiple times I have a boyfriend, I’ve also actively talked about my boyfriend to make sure he is super aware that I’m not being flirty, that I’m just a friendly person. He has never made a move on me or anything. Recently however, I’ve been plagued with these thoughts that I am emotionally cheating on my boyfriend, and I’ll also get intrusive thoughts about me cheating on him with this person. I don’t have any romantic or sexual feelings on this person, but then my brain is like “you sure? You do like talking to them a lot!” And then it spirals. At some points the image of us having sex has come to mind and it’s been seriously scary. I hate it so much because now I’m feeling disconnected from my own relationship because I’m too scared that I’m cheating. I of course talked about this with my partner and he was very supportive, even reassured me, but now the thoughts have gotten stronger and I am honestly scared. I’ve thought of just not texting this person anymore, or moving away (they are my neighbor), and I’ve actively avoided talking to them in person much. I’m so afraid. I’ve never cheated on anyone, and I don’t want to ever lose or hurt my partner. Sometimes I worry maybe I don’t have ocd, maybe I’m just a bad person. I don’t know. I’m just scared. Any advice?

no.comment

Date posted: 1y

It's ocd and it's infinitely easier to be said than done but try to accept the thoughts and don't be afraid to stay friends with this person

LeslieB3

Date posted: 1y

hey there, i'm really sorry you're going through this right now. it sounds incredibly tough, especially with your history and finally being in a healthy relationship that means so much to you. 💔 your efforts to maintain transparency with your partner and friend show your commitment and integrity, despite the distressing thoughts you're experiencing. by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck?" when i was in a similar situation, feeling overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts that didn't align with my values, this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyOCD.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended really made a difference. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it's designed to provide personalized, step-by-step support when OCD thoughts get tough, much like an OCD therapist would. it can help you navigate through these intrusive thoughts without them taking over your life or affecting your relationship. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

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