Relationships…

So I’m married, but I’ve always had these thoughts about other people. Everything feels like a romantic connection to me and I’ve tried to place it to the back of my mind. However, every time I meet someone new through my husband, I think “maybe I’m with my husband to meet my soulmate.” I’m struggling with this even more because I found out one of his work friends is interested in me and now I can’t stop thinking about said friend. I found him attractive at first, but now he consumes almost every one of my thoughts. This has happened multiple times through my relationship. I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. We have children together. I don’t know how to get these thoughts to stop. It has happened every relationship I’ve ever been in and I feel miserable. Even someone smiling at me in public makes me think maybe they’re the one and I made a wrong choice. It’s miserable. Please help.

Username: ElevenBElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

I took have this. Struggled with it for about 39 years. With ERP and medicine mine has gotten so much better. Just sit with the uncertainty of the thoughts. The feelings I know seem so real. You value your relationship with your husband that's why the thoughts are so bothersome. They're not true but they feel true. Don't try to figure them out, fix, or argue with them. Just let them be there.

Username: bke6bke6

Date posted: 37w ago

@ElevenB Thank you!

Username: loolaloola

Date posted: 37w ago

I know this feeling so well. Helps me to remember there isn’t really such thing as one perfect person for us. It’s really just find someone who compliments us well and who we truly care for and put 100 into it. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. New people seem all sparkly and new because you don’t know them. Your partner might not have that same sparkle after years together but you’ve both built something much deeper x

Username: bke6bke6

Date posted: 37w ago

@loola I do! We have gone through a lot of terrible things together and have had a rocky time for most of our relationship. Especially now. It makes it more difficult for me when he’s so busy with work and then he comes home and does his own thing for the rest of the night. Feeling neglected and then getting attention from this other friend makes it so much harder. I even felt this with his cousin because he checked in on me more than my husband did. Thank you for helping me feel not as alone! Do you do anything to help yourself through the thoughts?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 4y ago

Fun new obsession! I worked under a TA who I thought was super hot. I was happily committed to my now husband, but at the time I still harbored a lot of attraction toward this man, to the point of occasionally fantasizing about him. I felt awful about it then and I feel bad about it now. I’m trying to rack my brain and make sure nothing inappropriate ever happened, I can remember hoping he thought I looked good and wanting him to think I was funny but I never did anything besides my work when I was with him. I’m convinced this makes me a bad person or even worse, that I’m destined to cheat on my husband. Other instances happened when I was drunk, never to the point of cheating thank god, but flirtations with other men. This hasn’t happened since I was a freshman in college as I stopped heavily drinking and realized how much I needed to work to be the best version of myself. I constantly feel guilty, like I need to atone for what happened. This is almost worse than the crippling HOCD I’ve been fighting. Please help❤️ and thanks if you made it this far lol

Username: ranchdoritos88

Date posted: 2y ago

To those with SOOCD, Do any of you obsess more about the romantic side of things? I am married to my amazing hubby. But I have questions in my mind like "what if I am bi? What if I could just as easily be with a woman like I can with a man?" I hate these thoughts!

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: OCDwoman

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel helpless. I have had sexual fantasies about women(I am a woman) but always desired to be with a man emotionally, physically, and romantically. I’ve never been with a woman in real life and never desired to. When I was single the thought of hooking up with a woman never entered my mind. I am married to my wonderful husband now and he knows all of the fantasies I have and it doesn’t bother him at all. However, I can’t stop feeling the obsessive need to define it and I feel it’s not right. I have this perfectionist in me and the need to have answers and define it. It sends me into this dark, depressive, OCD spiral I feel I can’t come out of. Does anyone else feel this way? I hope I’m not alone someone please help! Any advice at all is appreciated!

Sexual Orientation OCD

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