pocd

everytime I see a kid or anything about a kid is mentioned then boom here come groinal responses that feel like genuine arousal and a whole bunch of thoughts telling me im a p. I genuine feel like I am one. I feel like this isn’t ocd. My anxiety has gone down tremendously so it seems as if im only ASHAMED of this. Which p’s can be also. I just want peace. I don’t want to be a p. Even my brain is like “just do it so u can have the label permanently “ like no I don’t want to do that but this all feels so real:( I hate the groinal responses they won’t go away

Username: IloveDieguitoIloveDieguito

Date posted: 31w ago

I get you, but I had to learn that the way I react to it, which is feeling terrible, and disgusted by the thought and the groinal response, makes me know in my mind that I would never act on it.

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 31w ago

@Anonymous but it’s hard to tell anymore. I feel disgusted with myself and the thoughts but the groinal responses feel so real and so do the thoughts. it’s weird and then I have moments of clarity where I know it’s not true but for the most of my days I genuinely believe im this monster

Username: IloveDieguitoIloveDieguito

Date posted: 31w ago

@co140 Yes it's really understandable for someone who has POCD, this is really hard, but you should feel inside of you even if it's really vague idea that when you feel better you know it's not true, that's when your real self is thinking.

Username: Justadude Justadude

Date posted: 31w ago

I feel that response for harm ocd.less anxiety and more just guilt and intense intrusive thoughts so it’s hard to believe it’s ocd since it’s so geared towards having anxiety. Usually tho if u have to constantly question whether it’s ocd that’s a good indication that it is.

Username: Isss123Isss123

Date posted: 31w ago

Hi, I suffered with POCD as an OCD theme on and off for a number of years. It’s horrible to deal with but I wanted to say it can and will get much better. Groin responses are completely different to arousal and we can get mixed up thinking we are aroused when in fact we are just monitoring our bodies response so closely. I felt exactly the same, terrified of it all being real etc. now it never really bothers me and I have other OCD themes. Recently I had a cancer scare and spent so much time researching / looking at forums etc to get CERTAINTY that I wasn’t sick. This is the exact same process, we are all searching for certainty. OCD loves POCD as a theme because nobody can provide a straight answer, so we are left to test, overthink and research. This makes the loop stronger and stronger. Please take it from me, it will pass. My recommendation would be to try look at these forums less and let your brain rewire into thinking about other things less. I wish you all the best. It’ll pass. Also write things down, that helped me sooo much. It helps de-jumble your mind

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 31w ago

@Isss123 what about physical compulsions? That come with the groinal response? such as checking , testing, (m-sturbation) also?

Username: Isss123Isss123

Date posted: 31w ago

@co140 The best thing you can do is break the cycle of the checking. I’d have these compulsions to check in on how I responded to different thoughts etc. but the best way to break that cycle is shift your thoughts elsewhere. Easier said than done! It hit me really hard during lockdown and I found out my sibling was going to have a baby. I was so scared and nervous that I’d suddenly become what I feared the most. I’m now able to have a great ocd free time with their now two babies! Things I’d do to take away from those checking compulsions was limited due to lockdown, but I did what I could. Sometimes the elastic band or hair bobble on the wrist works just to shift your mind. One mindset that helps two is seeing the checking across OCD themes as the same thing. Me googling for a guarantee I do / don’t have cancer is the same as checking for arousal. It’s not the theme that’s relevant it’s the illness. I also suffer from relationship OCD and constantly check I’m still in love with my boyfriend… it’s all the same. It’s a cruel illness but it will get better I promise

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

I’m dealing with something similar, feels so real like I want my thoughts when it’s just not me as a person but the arousal just feels so real. I hate it😭

Username: ocdnoononiocdnoononi

Date posted: 31w ago

Always having anxiety is practically impossible especially with how emotionally taxing it all is. You won’t always have anxiety even if ocd keeps hurling it’s spears of intrusions at you. Then it’ll use that emotional exhaustion against you just as quickly. The fact that you censor the p word which I do too- that’s enough to tell me you are just currently warped by ocd, and it’s done a pretty good job at tricking you. Try please try the methods of rapid acceptance (not agreement) of thoughts, you don’t need to address them, you can let them float by- trust me, they won’t do anything if you let them go.

Username: co653

Date posted: 30w ago

pocd

everytime i see a kid or hear any words related to children i get immediate intrusive thoughts and terrible groinal responses :( the sensations feel so real. i have no anxiety anymore its been like this for a while i use to have terrible anxiety with my ocd but now its just shame and worry:( and sadness/dread. i hate this. my brain literally tells me im a p, and i believe it, it sounds and feels so real :(

Username: co653

Date posted: 29w ago

pocd

can’t see anything on social media about kids ill immediately get intrusive thoughts and groinal responses and thoughts like “u are a p, u can’t have kids because u are a p” and it genuinely feels like im destined to be a p. like impending doom. that no more what i do i am one and i can’t change or stop it. does anyone feel like this? can it get this bad? my brain feels convinced and it’s like whenever i say im not my body gets all uncomfy and then the groinal responses come. i hate this. am i a p? if i am one i want to get help. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I would rather be gone then be a p but if I am one the least I could do is get help for it but im stuck between ocd and this. what if im just a fraud hiding behind ocd

Username: co653

Date posted: 29w ago

pocd

the minute I wake up it’s like a sense of impending doom. I immediately get thoughts like “ur a p, im a p, it’s inevitable, ur hiding behind an ocd mask” and it feels so real. I also get groinal responses and everything feels so real, like I AM ONE. and sometimes im too tired to even stop the thoughts so it just keeps going and my body and brain feels like it agrees and im just a p. idk what to do:(

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