- Date posted
- 1y
False memory ocd help needed please
So much has happened this morning but this one has still been bothering me since yesterday and I’m really terrified by the thought or “memory” and I could really use some help- I’ve been having a really random false memory about me and my last ex it’s been almost 3 years now since we broke up (I just turned 17. I’m almost 19 now-) I haven’t really been wanting to date anyone because of my mental state so- The “memory” I keep having is when we decided to do intimate things together. We were long distance so yeah-phones-I don’t how it led to this happening but my brain to telling me I must’ve some how forced them to do things or made them feel obligated to do so. Because I remember it was me who began that sort of thing-I really really remember me asking “can I?” And I remember them giving me consent to continue then the next day we talked about our feelings and how we trusted each other to continue to do these things together but my brain is really latching onto this memory because I can’t remember how we got to that point that night and I feel dirty. I remember the tension and whatever- but Whenever we’d do those things together it was always with permission, we texted about it and we talked about it frequently. I already have issues pertaining to these things and this is making it worse since my thoughts are trying to convince me I’m some sort of assaulter. (I’ve realized that I’m asexual/on the aro spectrum) what do I do to combat these thoughts? I loved my ex and even though we don’t talk anymore I still care for them and hope they’re doing well I would never forgive myself if I did something to mentally scar them. (Side note: my ex never did anything to me or anything like that. This isn’t related as to why we broke up we were with each other for 3 yrs)