I have recently discovered compulsory heterosexualaty, as a straight female with SO-OCD - it has super triggered me Its sent it spiralling again into what if thats me - thats me im definitely gay - im going to have to break up with my boyfriend (im not) Its horrible, anyone any advice Please help!!!!
Same š idk maybe im bi at this point. I have no advice, i just read this recovery story on the nocd website of a girl who had soocd all through her teens, and says shes now engaged to a woman and is actually queer. I am in a serious relationship with a man and im so afraid ill lose him bc of how anxious ive been lately, and i compulsively came out as bisexual-ish when at rock bottom (idek if i am, theres never gonna be 100% certainty and i just gotta accept that, at one point i was convinced i was a lesbian, until i actually found out about the power ocd can have on our minds)
@Soocddrivesmecrazy Ah me to! Im so worried Ill have to lose my boyfriend weāve been together 4 years and Ive had this on and off hes been so supportive I love him. I dont want to lose him I cant lose him this has just got to much! Stories like that really freak me out as I know its not me!
@Soocddrivesmecrazy Do you happen to have a link for this article? I was talking about something like this with my therapist today and she said it could be a good exposure if I felt up to it
@Soocddrivesmecrazy Where was this on the website? Was this the girl that wrote double invalidation? If so I think she identified as bi and her soocd was focused on only liking one gender which is distressing because she is happiest when she can like multiple genders.
@Anonymous I feel you so much š i had a lesbian nightmare and it felt too real it was horrible (i wasnt sleeping with girls but there were naked ones and it was so triggering i feel like its crawling into my skin) my boyfriend is sleeping next to me and i just feel so terrible and ashamed
@Zoroarcanine https://www.treatmyocd.com/my-ocd-journey/is-it-really-poison this is it. Good luck! š„²
@Legallyocd See the link in my above reply if you want to check, but no this girl says she used to identify as bi but doesn't anymore...
@Soocddrivesmecrazy Thank you!
@Soocddrivesmecrazy This was hard to read, but I did it today during my session! Thank you again for sharing this!
@Soocddrivesmecrazy Thank you !
@Zoroarcanine I'm happy to know you were able to! It was a hard read for me as well
This is a known trigger for people with SOOCD. You have to allow the possibility that this could be what you are experiencing but maybe it isnāt! Who knows!
@Cassandragoth This is someone elseās story, you donāt have to accept it as your reality.
@Cassandragoth Its really scary though. I thought I was up to the exposure and read it and its made me think im 100% gay again but im not. Im so scared im gonna have to lose my boyfriend - i dont wanna lose him though
I hear you and I know the article can be a good exposure for people like us who struggle with SOOCD. I want to read it for the exposure, but that part of my brain is afraid on account that itāll be too triggering and think itāll be true.
I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the ālesbian islandā. She then continues to say āmaking out with a girl is one thingā but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Wellā¦ this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because Iām thinking, well why does she think itās okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesnāt identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and Iāve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what sheās talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now Iām having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to ācheckā if Iām still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I donāt want, and then tries to convince me that I do. Itās painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I donāt want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but Iām terrified that one day Iāll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. Iāve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that Iām "bisexual." Iāve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge meātelling me, āYou donāt even know what love feels like.ā It wonāt shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that Iām a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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