After 1.5 years of therapy

Thanks!! I'm so happy you found it helpful, this made my day 😊😊

@Skylerzz ☺️☺️☺️🙏🏻

Yes 😊😊❤️💪we should appreciate ourselves

You are definitely not alone. I don't have most of my memories during the first 3 years since my main theme onset, because it was so painful my brain filtered them out. After that was 4-5 years I extremely isolated myself due to trauma from the first 3 years. At the time I didn't even dare to tell a online stranger I was unwell because of the deep down fear of being abandoned and/or despised again. It took me 8 years till I felt nothing to lose to get help. At the time I had at least 6 independent themes (only 1 remain now) each of them was a standalone nightmare. I think you are in a great shape since you are already getting help and willing to connect with others!! It took me tremendous efforts to made this step and you already made it, congratulations!! and be proud of yourself !!! I relate to the fear of no cure and bizarre situation. Most of my disturbance came from I didn't understand what I was fighting with, and unknown is dreadful, some almost to the extent of existential horror. However, at maybe my 8th therapy session (I usually sort out my thoughts with my therapist during the session) I started to realize my theme is understandable (the microconponents, etc.), it's just another unsolved scientific question (although I thought I would never comprehend it for years). Since then, I can picture myself as an adventurer who has ventured alone to a forbidden, uninhabited land, bringing back knowledge unknown to the world. (I always feel so excited when thinking of this lol) Another thing I figured out is try not to put aside your life waiting for OCD to "heal". This is also supported by my therapist as a general advice. Every time when I reduced my normal activity / postponed plans due to surrenderig up, it led to more depression and meta OCD eventually. My happiest life stage was all when I strived very hard regardless the inconvenience, and I actually achieved a lot during the times. Therefore, put faith in yourself, if you hope, you are fully capable of not viewing OCD as a hindrance, but a challenge to dig your true potential, and you can totally thrive with OCD.

Thanks, I hope you all the best!

Thank you😊😊congrats on beating it too!!

I hope all the best for you! My somatic theme is eyesight and eye movement related. I'm happy to write down the best lessons I have learned from my experience so far, but since everyone's situation is unique, what worked for me might not necessarily work the same for you, make sure to prioritize your comfort before picking up anything! 1. My main theme is not a simple "theme", but multiple pairs of obssession-complusion intertwined together. E.g. I have an obsession of fearing my eyesight is not right, and a complusion of sensing it from moment to moment. To adjust for this uncomfortableness, I have a new compulsion to move my eyeball to make my sight "just right". Then, I have another obsession paying attention to my eyeball movement, which lead to another complusion moving my facial muscle to adjust my eyeballs and glasses. These obs and comps can all happen simultaneously without my consciousness, and they trigger each other in an unpredictable order. Before I figured out my main theme was not a simple obs-comps loop but a complex knot, I blindly attacked random links of the knot when doing exposure, which was confusing and frustrating. After I realized my main theme has multiple components, I can unravel each obs-comp loop one by one effectively. 2. When I'm too haste of getting better to not dealing with my OCD in the right way, I usually end up with creating another layer of meta OCD instead of getting better (obs. on whether I'm improved; comp. on examining on my eyesight to check) and it will take me days even weeks to recognize it. Thus I tell myself, if I'm not in the mood and senerio of treating it right, don't worry about the OCD being there, because the worry always turn into meta OCD. It's like a tangled ball of yarn, brute force pulling only leads to more knots. I should always keep this in mind and only calmly identify each knot and unravel them one by one.

These are what on top of my head for now. If I come up with more, I will write them down too!

@Skylerzz Thank you again for your advice. As hopeless as I feel this gives me some kind of hope in knowing that if others conquered this then I surely can. :)