I called a therapist to consider switching my therapist and told her about my thoughts and then she asked me “is it the ocd thoughts? Don’t you have a plan to do it?” SERIOUSLY?????????????
It’s frustrating when people don’t understand the content of OCD self-harm thoughts. Idk if this is similar to your situation, but I have had many people treat me like I was actively suicidal when they were just intrusive suicidal thoughts. It was frustrating for me. I’m sorry 💗
@HopeM365 She needed to ask to make sure, but if I was sure I wouldn’t call her at first place or go to therapy 😫😫😫
This has happened to me before. For a long time I was misdiagnosed with depression and suicidal ideation, even though the thoughts absolutely horrified me and I was fixating on them to try to get them to stop!! Finally having an answer and knowing I wasn’t alone in having these thoughts helped a lot. And you deserve to have a therapist who is knowledgeable about OCD as well. When my OCD was still very severe, all I wanted was reassurance, and a therapist can’t build trust with you to ultimately treat you if they can’t provide you with reassurance up front. Ultimately, challenging that reassurance will be positive for treatment, but in the beginning it can be very triggering in my experience. I’m sorry you had that response. I know how it feels!
@andip37 My therapist gave me the reassurance still I didn’t trust it 100% but I wanted to switch therapist bc she is very pricey and I think there isn’t enough CBT but the thing is that she knows me and another one might hospitalise me or something bc I can’t say 100% is because of the ocd 😫😫😫 I’m not terrified enough anymore I’m just on it all day and don’t want the thoughts
@confused writer I hear you. OCD is insidious!
@andip37 How did you get better? Did you think about it ALL the time too? 😫
@confused writer ✨🙏 you can do it! one day at a time you can get better 🙏✨ your OCD is a part of you but it doesn't define you! accepting it and learning to live with it will bring you peace 😔 🌙 the road is hard but you can absolutely do it 💪✨ it will get easier if you keep at it there's a path for you 🤗 sending prayers 🙏 ✨
@confused writer Oh boy, did I! Yes ALL the time. It consumed my life. And when I wasn’t having the thought, I was worried they would come again. So no matter what I was fixating on them. Going through the ERP process with a knowledgeable therapist helped a lot. And then when I had a really bad flare up and realized that I was someone who needed both therapy and the right medication, I started meds. And now with both the ERP tools plus meds I feel SO much freer, like a weight has been lifted. The thoughts are still there sometimes, but much less intense and it feels much easier to just let them go by. You WILL get better - you can do it! But I know how it feels to be where you are right now. And it is a lot. Keep talking about it because that helps, too, to know you’re not alone.
@andip37 The hardest thing for me is to believe it’s only ocd, because I feel like I’m going through every day and survive it 🤦🏻♀️ if it makes sense… I know deep down I don’t really want to die,but it’s deep deep deep down I’d love if we could talk!
@kathleenshubby4eva Thank you so much!
@confused writer Totally get that. I thought I was legit insane for a long time, always worried what if I’m just fooling myself, fixated on wanting to hide the thoughts so badly because what if they are what is real, etc etc. OCD traps you in a loop and it is soooooo hard to see out of it.
@andip37 Exactly
my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.
Today I had my first appointment with my new therapist in a clinic and she told me that my thoughts could be because of my past trauma and that it’s what makes most people pedos. I’m so in distress right now, I don’t want to hurt people but she made me feel like I’m disgusting
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
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